


After All This Time

by Katpierce03



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe - Harry Potter Setting, Alternate Universe - Hogwarts, Alternate Universe - Ilvermorny, Battle of Hogwarts, F/M, Heartbreak, Hogwarts, Hogwarts Seventh Year, Ilvermorny, Love, Magic, Romance, Rough Sex, Sex, Slow Build, Slow Burn, Smut, Yule Ball (Harry Potter)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-24
Updated: 2020-12-13
Packaged: 2021-03-08 01:34:22
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 19
Words: 52,404
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26627572
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Katpierce03/pseuds/Katpierce03
Summary: After transferring to Hogwarts from Ilvermorny, in your 7th year no less, you are the talk of the school. Everyone wants to know the new girl, why she's there, and all of her juicy secrets. Some secrets are best kept to yourself. But is there someone at Hogwarts who could understand more than you would know? And in turn, can your similarities prove that you're both worthy of love? Love, lust, secrets, and betrayal will all be more than you bargained for.
Relationships: Draco Malfoy/Reader
Comments: 32
Kudos: 150
Collections: Fav Fics of Draco Malfoy





	1. The Sorting Ceremony

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: Hello! Welcome to After All This Time. If you know me personally, yes. I write under a pen name. :) This is a Harry Potter AU. There will be similar/the same events and circumstances from the real HP world, but some have been flipped around to fit the story of this world. Please do not come for me for this. Just enjoy the Draco smut and romance. That being said, this is 18+ ONLY!! Thank you for being here, and enjoy the story. :)

Year one. As a 7th year. Yeah, no. This was definitely going to be hell. You looked around at all the first years surrounding you. At 18 years old, you towered over the 11 and 12 year old first years. You shifted uncomfortably from foot to foot. You wished Hogwarts didn't make such a big spectacle of sorting. A whole ass hat that talks to you? You suppose that it's not much weirder than carvings talking to you. At least at Ilvermorny, your sorting was private.

You took a deep breath, trying to calm your nerves. All the first years around you were talking excitedly and full of the hope of all the possibilities ahead of them. Most of them were sweet. No weird looks even though it was obvious you were much older. Some of them probably made the assumption you were a prefect. After several long and grueling minutes, a tall and poised older woman stepped gracefully through the enormous double doors. You assumed this was Professor McGonagall whom you'd read about before. She was powerful and inspirational. You were ecstatic to learn under her.

"Welcome to Hogwarts," said McGonagall with enthusiasm and electricity. She locked eyes on you almost immediately, and there was something warm in her gaze. Something gentle and kind. She stayed focused on you as she continued. "In a moment, I will lead you through these doors and into the great hall to begin the sorting ceremony. Please, do not be nervous. The sorting hat knows best. There are four houses. They are Gryffindor, Hufflepuff, Ravenclaw, and Slytherin." Some nervous and some excited giggles escaped the mouths of all the younger kids around you.

And with that, the large stone doors that towered over us like giants reopened to the biggest hall you had ever seen. Four rows of extremely long tables going from one end to another with another long table at the end facing all of the students. Every single head turned expectantly at all the first years, but it felt as if every pair of eyes was on you. You could hear the the whispers now. "Who is she?" "What kind of a first year is that tall?" "What's her story?" In reality, the hall was dead silent. You didn't know which would be worse. The thick silence or the dense whispers? You didn't want to think of it any longer.

Eyes forward. Head high. Don't let them think you have anything to hide. You could answer all their questions in due time. On your time.

The walk down to the front of the great hall seemed to last for hours, but you know you were there probably in a matter of seconds. One by one students were called up and quickly and easily sorted into their houses. A wave of dread washed over you. You weren't sure why you were so nervous. 

Then it happened. Your name was called, and all the blood drained from your face. Dead silence again, and all eyes on you again. You inhaled deeply, holding it for just a moment before letting it go as you strode forward. Once again, you were greeted by such a warm smile from McGonagall, who held the hat in her hands.

Quick and easy. Everyone has been quick and easy. It will be the same for you. You sat down on the stool in front of you, and your mouth went completely dry as you looked upon the faces of everyone in the Great Hall. Acid bubbled up in your throat, and you thought you might vomit all over the poor kids.

A deep but calming voice reached your ears before the hat even touched your head. "Ah, yes. Interesting." Interesting? What the hell was interesting? Your palms started to sweat, and you wondered if your time here would be short. If anyone knew why you transferred, you'd be bullied and ridiculed.

"A bright young witch you are. A very successful education at Ilvermorny, you did have." And cue the whispers. They flooded your senses as you watched in panic at all the students leaning in to each other to make their comments about what the hat had said.

"You excelled in all your classes. Intelligent and studious no doubt. But you took chances. Risks. You wanted to try new spells, new potions, and reach new heights." What the hell was it on about? You wondered curiously; it seemed each descriptor could probably put you into any house. You groaned internally. Truth be told, you weren't sure where you wanted to be placed, but you did know one thing for sure: You did not want to be placed in Slytherin with the reputation it had.

As if the hat could read your thoughts, it said, "Hm, more interesting indeed. You push away ideas that could make your greatness soar even more." More internal groaning. Why was this taking so long? Were you really that complicated?

"Such impatience. Yes. That tells me much more. Better be, GRYFFINDOR!"

Cheers and applause erupted in the Great Hall, and every single Gryffindor stood up to welcome you to the table. As you quickly sauntered over to your peers, you sat next to a tall boy with a nice face. His dark skin was golden and smooth. Over all the noise, he leaned in with a hand extended and introduced himself. "Hi! Dean Thomas. Welcome to Gryffindor. That there is Seamus". He pointed across the table to a smaller white boy with the largest grin you had ever seen. His hair was gently tousled around, and it seemed a bit unkempt. Dean leaned back in to say, "Careful 'round him if you ever have potions. Has a bit of nasty luck getting things right." He then mimed an explosion and made exaggerated noises. Seamus threw a piece of bread at his face. It was the first time you had laughed in months. You thought to yourself that maybe you could make a home of this place yet.

The rest of the first years were sorted, and Dumbledore stood up and silenced everyone with a simple hand wave. He spoke peacefully but thunderously. He could command a room so effortlessly. It was clear the school had his respect.

He looked majestic and mysterious, but comforting. His long white hair reached well beyond his shoulders, and his beard fell down close to his belly. His half moon glasses sat further down his nose than people normally wore glasses. His voice was soothing underneath its thunderous tone.

"Welcome, everyone, to another year at Hogwarts. It is with great sadness that I must begin another year's speech with warning and caution. As you all know, Voldemort is still at large." Whispers erupted once again. Fear clung thick to the air at just the name. Even in America you knew the powerful dark wizard was nothing to take lightly. 

Dumbledore continued with an unperturbed demeanor. "We have every safety protocol in place, and we are continuing to maintain constant contact with members of the Ministry about his whereabouts. To ensure student safety, trips to Hogsmeade without professor escorts are strictly forbidden, as is entrance to the Forbidden Forest. Like last year, there will be a strict curfew on school grounds of 9pm." At the sound of this, there were a few snickers from the Slytherin table across the way.

Two stocky brunette boys laughed and nudged a slender blonde boy. He didn't laugh with them. You watched him for a moment, curious about his presence. He sulked in place with his chin resting in his hand. He looked tired. So tired. Almost as if his mind was completely elsewhere. You wondered what it would be like to be a fly on the wall in his brain. You didn't know why you were so transfixed on him. His hair was so perfectly parted but tousled and messy. His jawline was sharp and his lips pursed in thought.

No. Stop it.

You couldn't get caught up in a romance. Not after...No. You didn't deserve it. Focus on yourself. Focus on your studies. Get out and become someone.

Dumbledore rambled on for some time about the power of positivity, love, and friendship. You didn't catch much of it, as you were trying hard to process everything around you. And then you heard Dumbledore say your name.

You froze in place. Why was he saying your name? All eyes were back on you. Again. Blood rushed to your cheeks from dire embarrassment. This time, you were listening to what Dumbledore had to say.

"It is not common to have transfer students, but we have made an exception this year. She was top of her class at Ilvermorny, and I know she will make a great addition to Hogwarts. And with times being as dark as they have been, we have decided to do something special this year." You swallowed hard. Where was he going with this, and what did it have to do with you?

"We will be holding another Yule Ball this year. However, it will only consist of students from Hogwarts as is it too unsafe for travelers to come through. In these most uncertain and desolate times, we must remember the power we have in love and in each other. And now, let the feast begin."

You were sure that it would just be awkward silence, but instead, everyone burst into more applause, and the whole mood switched when an enormous feast appeared right before your eyes. Okay. That was cool. Back at Ilvermorny, the food was usually already there. 

As soon as Dumbledore finished his speech, Dean and Seamus turned their attention back to you. Seamus started first. "So, heard ye were in Wampus back at Ilvermorny. What the feck is a Wampus anywho?" His thick Irish accent made you smile. You weren't used to this. You were used to whiny american boys.

You smiled back cooly and said, "It's like...a cat? Sort of. It honors and favors warriors." Dean chimed in with, "Ah, that makes sense you'd be placed in Gryffindor then. Well let me tell ya, you were sorted into the right house. We've got all the best mates." 

Dean cupped his hands around his mouth to project his voice down the table some. "Oy! Neville, Ginny! Over here!" A tall, hunched boy shuffled over, the one you assumed to be Neville. He had short, brown hair that was lightly parted to the side. He pretty unassuming, but he was still handsome. He seemed extremely shy. He waved a tiny and awkward hand in your direction before sitting down and saying hello. The girl you assumed was Ginny was standing at her part of the table still, leaning down and chatting with some other girls. After she finished up, she meandered over with a light breeze to her. She seemed so cool, but not in the "I'm too cool for you" way. She had fire orange hair that was stick straight but still beautiful. While she wasn't necessarily peppy, she was miles more confident than Neville. Her smile brightened the whole place, and you felt at home just looking at her. She plopped down next to Neville with a certain cheerfulness. 

"Gang's all here I guess," said Ginny. 

"Hi, it's good to meet you. Good to meet all of you. I was scared I'd be eating all alone," you replied. 

Ginny took your hand and said, "Nonsense! Truth be told, the whole gang isn't here, so it's nice to have backups." You stared at her for a hard moment feeling a little hurt. You didn't want to intrude or be anyone's backup. Ginny's face suddenly went white, and she reached for your hands again quickly to try and reassure you. "Oh my gosh, no, I'm so sorry. It was a joke that clearly didn't land. We're always joking and teasing within our group. It's like second nature. We're always happy to expand the circle. I'm so glad you're here. I promise, you are so welcome here."

You looked into her sapphire blue eyes and could tell she was sincere. You squeezed her hands to let her know that you understood, and you went back to eating. You looked around at everyone's faces, and you felt relaxed for the first time in a while. Your cheeks started to hurt from smiling. 

"So....this Yule Ball thing. What is it?" you asked. Ginny's eyes brightened even more some how. 

"Oh you'll love it! It's normally tradition to host it during the Tri-Wizard tournament. I'm surprised they brought it back. But I suppose Dumbledore is right. It might be just what we need right now. It's just a big fancy dance. It'll be fun! We can all go as friends if you want."

Your smile matched hers, and you replied, "That sounds amazing."

An hour or so passed and everyone began to shuffle to their respective dorms. You and Ginny walked with linked arms, and as you departed the great hall, you saw his face again. The boy who looked so heavy. So tired. Instinctively you wanted to reach out and embrace him. Just as quickly as you saw him, he disappeared around a corner. You thought that you wouldn't let it shake your brain too much.

When you got upstairs to the Gryffindor common room, you realized you were too tired to take it all in, and you would examine it all more closely tomorrow. You were sad to find out that Ginny was a year younger than you, so you wouldn't be sharing a room together, but she came inside to help you unpack some. She really was so sweet. You said your goodnights, and you finally let your head hit the pillow.

You thought deeply about how refreshing your new start felt. You kept replaying your new friends smiling faces over and over. You think the nightmare is over. And then you close your eyes and know that it isn't.


	2. First Impressions

You can't place the time, but it has probably only been a couple of hours since you drifted off into your food coma. You bolt upright out of bed, hardly able to breathe. Sweat is pouring off of every inch of your skin. Your blankets feel heavy and thick, and you toss them off instantly.

It doesn't help. Fuck. You can't breathe. What can you do?

Not wanting to disturb anyone, you take yourself down the stairs to the common room. Though it is mostly dark, the pale moonlight seeps in through the tall windows. You see smooth dark red velvet couches surrounding a grand fireplace. You were filled with happiness thinking about the cold winter nights you could spend curled up by it with a book and some tea.

Still unable to really soothe your breathing, you decided to try the "5-4-3-2-1 Technique."

"Alright. Five things I can see right now. A couch, a fireplace, moonlight, paintings, chairs.

Four things I can touch. The hardwood floor, the rough stone walls, a book on a table, the hair on my head.

Three things I can hear. The crackle of the fire, owls hooting in the distance, and a light wind rapping at the window.

Two things I can smell. Burning of the wood and parchment paper.

One thing I can taste. My semi-bad breath from sleeping."

Okay. Done. Before you knew it, your breathing returned to normal. But you still felt slightly suffocated. You felt trapped in this room. Your mind was racing with all these thoughts that you couldn't quite focus, and soon it became too overwhelming. Before you knew it, you went upstairs again to grab your wand, your slippers, and a light sweater. 

It was like your body was on autopilot. You knew you weren't supposed to roam school grounds at this hour, but you couldn't stay here right now. You had such a wonderful start. What would happen if you fucked it up? If you turned everything into dust like you had before?

Being surrounded by your new friends, new home, new life, new possibilities, you couldn't handle it right now. Being incredibly good with your sense of direction, you quickly and quietly moved down the halls to a place you remembered on the map Dumbledore gave you before arriving at Hogwarts. The Astronomy Tower was nearby, and you knew that you could probably reach it unnoticed.

Thankfully, you ran into no professors or prefects, and you reached the doorway to the stairs leading up the the tower with no issues. Except one. 

It was locked. Sighing to yourself, you thought, it can't be that easy. "Alohomora," you whispered. You heard a faint click, and you tried the door once more. It creaked open, so you hastily darted inside and closed it again. "It really was that easy," you chuckled to yourself.

Knowing that there could still possibly be someone up here, you stealthily crept up the stairs, and when you reached the top, you noticed there was no one in sight.

You walked over to the railing on one side, sat down, and dangled your feet over the edge. It was quite chilly, so you hugged your sweater a little closer to your body.

You stared out into the darkness, a tranquil silence fell around you. You became so captivated by the quiet and having a moment to breathe that you didn't hear anyone come in. 

"Oh, shit. I'm sorry," a voice called out behind you. Startled, and afraid you would be in trouble on your very first night, you turned around faster than lightning. It was him. The Slytherin boy from earlier. The moonlight made him paler. His eyes looked sunken and exhausted. He looked almost sickly.

You quickly stood up to him, worried perhaps he was a prefect roaming the halls. "Oh no, no I'm so sorry. Please I didn't mean to cause any trouble. I just, being new and all I'm nervous a-a-a-nd I, I just- I just needed some air and-" you started spouting. 

He kept a straight and serious face for some time, but then he burst out into a chuckle. Your face contorted in confusion. He waved one of his hands back and forth with the other in his pants pocket and said, "Did you think I was a prefect here to bust you?"

"Well...honestly...kind of. Yeah," you spat out embarrassingly.

He grinned from ear to ear. "Well, I am a prefect. But I'm not here to bust you."

The boy stepped closer. He was only a few inches taller than you, but his presence made you feel much smaller. He leaned in and whispered in your ear, "Don't worry love. Trouble is my middle name."

When his hot breath tickled your ear, shivers ran up and down your spine. No. No don't do this. Don't fall for it. He's trying to charm you, and you could tell he did have trouble written all over him. That brooding facade earlier was probably just him pouting over not getting his way.

Don't. Fall. For. It.

He brushed past you and stood leaning against the rail at the same spot you were at just moments ago. You stood stuck in place just watching him for a moment. You were trying to get a genuine read on him.

You decided to approach and strike up a conversation. Try to figure him out a little.

"So..." you started. "What brings you to the Astronomy tower after curfew?"

"I told you. Trouble is my middle name." This time though, there was no devilish smirk. Just the same dark and heavy stare you saw earlier. He was clearly deflecting.

"Well...mind if I stay here and stare up at the sky in your presence?" you asked carefully. You didn't want to intrude on his space, though technically he was intruding on yours. It felt though as if this location was something special to him.

With his signature look of his chin in his hand, he turned to face you briefly and said, "Be my guest."

Long moments of silence passed and your legs grew tired. But you still could not fight off your mind from all the horrible things swirling inside. You sat back down with your legs dangling over the edge. The boy looked down at you for a moment, and it was almost like there was a look of disgust on his face.

Angry, you spouted out, "What? Does the pretty boy have a problem with getting a little dirty?"

There was that smirk again. It melted your insides into a puddle.

The boy plopped down next to you in the same position, and while still staring straight ahead leaned over a bit to whisper, "Name's Draco. Draco Malfoy. And you don't know how dirty I can get." At the utterance of this last line, his head turned just a few degrees in your direction while his gaze fell upon you. He sat back straight and stared off into the mountainous distance.

Draco. You repeated it over and over in your head. It rolled off the tongue nicely. You thought for such a handsome guy, it fit kind of perfectly. 

"My name is-" you started to say, but he cut you off almost immediately.

"I know who you are," he said. This caught you off guard. How did he know?

"How-how did you know?" you asked trying not to sound too freaked out.

A soft chuckle left his mouth as he said, "Hogwarts isn't as big as you think. One soft breeze of a rumor and it turns into a hurricane. No thing is sacred unless it is your own."

Of course. That makes sense. Your mind grew a little frantic as you processed his words though.   
'No thing is sacred unless it is your own.' You knew that you could never utter your secret to anyone. No one could truly know why you left Ilvermorny. You would take it your grave if you had to.

So, what now? Would you tell people your reason to transfer? No one would believe that you just decided to leave. Especially not in your last year. 

As if he read your thoughts, Draco asked, "So why leave Ilvermorny and come to this hogwash of a school?" You were surprised he held such disdain for Hogwarts. You pondered for a moment how to answer.

"Why so much annoyance at Hogwarts?" you asked.

"Why are you dodging the question?" he retorted immediately.

"...Fair. I'd rather not talk about it," you whispered as you twiddled your thumbs. He turned his gaze toward you, trying to be a bit more serious. "And why's that?" he asked.

"No thing is sacred unless it is your own," you replied.

Another smirk from him with a response of, "Touche."

You wondered for some time what his secret was. You knew he had to have one, but you just couldn't quite place what it would even remotely be. Maybe some things are best left buried. 

After a long bout of quiet, Draco finally spoke again. "Well, I suppose I'll have to find a new hiding spot now that you've taken over this one." You frowned a bit. You didn't want him to feel as if you were being invasive, but you didn't want him to feel kicked out of his own spot.

"Nonsense! This is clearly your spot. It's yours. You have it. I'm sure I'll find others. Eventually," you quickly shouted. He shook his head a little before speaking. 

"Nah, I prefer to be alone. Not around some prickly little ninny." Before you could open your mouth in response, Draco was on his feet and swiftly moving towards the stairs, leaving you dumbfounded.

One moment he seemed so genuine, and the next he had razor sharp claws out for blood. What was his deal?

Tears pricked at your eyes, but you fought them back. No way you would cry on your first day. Any other day but your first. And fought them back you did.

Your mouth was left bitter, and as much as you dreaded going back to bed and the chance of more nightmares, you preferred that scenario to the one you just experienced.


	3. First Day

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: This chapter is dedicated to John Shearin. A man who instilled greatness and punctuality in me. And he always reminded me to laugh and be silly. Thank you for all your kindness, wisdom, and inspiration. "If you're early, you're on time. If you're on time, you're late. And if you're late, don't bother showing up at all." Thank you for always keeping my creativity train rolling. **Also I know that there's a bit of a slow start to this, but I promise that it will heat up very, very soon.*

You arose early, around 6 am, to prepare yourself for your first day of classes. You looked over your schedule once more, and you were happy with it.

Defense against the Dark Arts, Transfiguration, Potions, Care of Magical Creatures, and then Herbology. You wanted a well-rounded schedule consistent with your path at Ilvermorny. Eventually, you wanted to return to a school as professor. Because Ilvermorny does exams differently, you had to be let into these advanced classes based on your EAGLES scores and recommendation letters from your old professors.

You were just glad that after everything there were still people who believed in you.

As you descended down the stairs to the common room, you were met with buzzing chatter. First day excitement filled the air, and it was infectious. You weren't going to let your night ruin your new day.

Not seeing any familiar faces, you headed towards the great hall alone, but on the way, Ginny found you and linked her arm through yours again. It was still just as comforting as the first time. She beamed that 10,000 watt smile at you and cheerfully said, "Goooood morning! How'd you sleep?" You didn't want to answer, but you did. "Truthfully, not too well."

Ginny frowned a little and squeezed your bicep. "It's just first day, new school jitters. I promise that you'll be great." Her reassurance went a long way to level your head.

As soon as you entered, you spotted Dean, Seamus, and Neville almost immediately. The two of you sat down with them, and you quickly began piling your plate with as much food as you could.

Dean raised an eyebrow. "You nervous?" With bacon half hanging out of your mouth, you sputtered, "What gave it away?" Everyone laughed, and Seamus chimed in. "I'm quite the nervous eater myself. First day nerves? Don't worry mate. We got your back."

You wondered how it is that even though you had done something so terrible, you still deserved friends like these. You muttered a quiet thanks, and everyone went back to eating. Soon Neville chirped up, wondering what your schedule looked like. After listing off your classes, his eyes shined bright. "We have Herbology together! I love Herbology. It's my favorite subject. Professor Sprout is a gem. You'll like her."

"I'm glad I'll have you in class with me. That makes that a little bit less scary," you told him. Dean and Seamus chimed in that they both had Potions, and Defense against the Dark Arts with you. And while Ginny was a year below you, you actually had Care of Magical Creatures with her--there generally were some years combined into one class.

That meant only one of your classes you had to face alone, but you were okay with that. Knowing you had friendly faces in some of them gave you a bout of strength. As you finished eating, you glanced over your schedule for the 20th time that morning, just to be sure.

Your first class was Defense against the Dark Arts. Dean, Seamus, and you picked up your bags and headed that way. You liked to be early. If you're early, you're on time. And if you're on time, you're late. The three of you chose seats closer to the middle. You didn't want to be right up front, but you also wanted to get the most out of your lessons. 

Seamus broke the silence while you all waited for class to start. "So, how ye liking Hogwarts? Is it bigger or smaller than Ilvermorny?" 

"It's actually a bit smaller, but not by much. Definitely more complicated to move around," you answered.

"I feel you on that. Damn moving staircases," whined Dean.

You chuckled, but honestly you hated the small talk, even if they both meant well. And then came the dreaded question.

"So, why the transfer? You never told us," Dean inquired.

Your throat felt like the Sahara. You knew you wouldn't be able to escape it, but you wish you could. Thinking quickly, but not intelligently, you said, "My parents. You know how it is. Everything revolves around them."

"Did they just up and move you then?" asked Seamus.

God, why did you have to say that? "Something like that..." you replied.

"And what are your parents? Magical? Muggle?" asked Seamus. "I'm a half blood myself. Me dad's a muggle, mum's a witch," he continued.

"M-muggle? The bloody hell is a muggle?" you asked.

Dean snickered, and when you shot him a glare, he confessed, "Seems our slang is already rubbing off on you. And muggle means nonmagical."

You were confused, but rolled with it. "We just call them no-mag," you said.

Seamus and Dean cracked up, and Dean said that it seemed a bit too on the nose. Perhaps he was right, but who were you to question it? You told them that your parents were both non magical, making you a muggle born. Not that those statuses meant anything to you.

After a few more moments of what felt like lightning round questioning, you noticed Draco entering in with those two boys from before and a short dark haired girl with an unkind face. You didn't pay close attention as your eyes kept falling to Draco. He still looked like he hadn't slept in a millennia, yet he still looked ridiculously handsome.

Then you remembered what he said to you last night. A prickly little ninny, huh? Wetness stung at your eyes again, but you still fought it. You leaned over to Dean and asked, "Hey, what does ninny mean?" You felt a little dumb, but you thought he would be understanding, and he was. 

"It means foolish or naive. Usually someone who's annoying you."

Foolish? Naive? Your anger started to boil over just a bit. What a prick. He didn't know the first thing about you. When Dean asked why you wanted to know, you claimed that you had just overhead someone use it while on your way to breakfast. Dean seemed to think nothing more of it and left it at that. But he couldn't help but take note of you staring at Draco. You weren't really making it subtle.

"Don't waste your time, mate. He's a right foul git, that one. He's always either staring off into space or bullying someone into next week. Though, thankfully, the bullying has been less this year," Dean informed you.

A tiny part of you didn't want to believe it, but after what you faced last night, it all made sense. Still, there was a lingering feeling that maybe it wasn't true. As if that assumption of him was like one of those puzzle pieces that fits almost perfectly, but it isn't the right one.

The doors to the classroom burst open and interrupted your thought process. In strode a tall man with greasy black hair and a wardrobe just as black. Professor Snape. You've heard of him and his not so nice reputation. You thought he was the Potions professor, but perhaps you remembered wrong.

"You." Snape pointed a bony finger at you, and you recoiled instinctively. "Tell me what the purpose of occlumency is." Occlumency? You tried to wrack your brain, but you only remember skimming about it in a book. Nothing like that was taught at Ilvermorny, as it was seen as a defense tactic against REALLY bad and dark wizards. You suppose it's called Defense against the DARK Arts for a reason, and in the moment you, really did feel like a ninny. 

Why didn't you learn this? Or did you, and you just spaced out in class? This was so embarrassing. Your cheeks grew hotter by the millisecond, and finally you couldn't take it. "I...don't know...professor. I'm sorry." Your voice shook as you spoke.

"Pitiful," spat Snape. "And here I was told that you were top of your class at Ilvermorny. Your class must have been full of nitwits." More tears threatened to flood your face, but like the fast worker you are, you held your eyes tight like a dam. You took a deep breath in and let it roll off your shoulder. 

You could hear snickering coming from Draco's table. The two other boys and the girl were laughing up a storm. More heat rose in your face, and you turned your embarrassment into strength. 

"With all due respect, sir, isn't it a professor's job to teach things to students if they don't know it? Not ridicule them in front of everyone?" You felt bold. Dean and Seamus's eyes perked up with interest.

Snape turned back around and hounded over your desk. His hands slammed onto the table in front of you. You started to understand why he had such a reputation. "Miss, may I remind you that you are in MY classroom. I will teach however I see fit. If you don't like it, I will write you a hall pass to Dumbledore to take you off the roster."

You decided to one up him. Show no fear.

"No," you stated firmly. He held your gaze for several moments. He was trying to test you, break you. And did you ever want to break. Nevertheless, you persisted. 

Snape walked back to the front of the classroom and proceeded to give a lesson on Occlumency and Legilimency. You were sure to take careful notes so as not to ever forget it.

The girl sitting next to Draco kept look over in your direction and suppressing laughter. You wondered why she was being so mean. Was she his girlfriend? Seemed to be a fitting pair if so. You struggled to ignore her and the other two boys who messed around all class with zero consequences. It was definitely evident that Snape, the head of the Slytherin house, favored those in Slytherin.

Through class, you noticed Draco didn't partake much in the shenanigans. Occasionally he laughed, but it seemed sort of hollow. 

When you were finally all dismissed, you packed rather aggressively and dashed out of the classroom without a word to even Dean or Seamus. You just wanted to get the rest of your day over with.

Each class trudged on slowly, but for the most part, you really loved them. All your professors were great, and you didn't endure any more harassment or judgment except in Potions which you also shared with the four slimy Slytherins. 

Your last class of the day was Herbology, which mostly excited you because you could quickly go to the library from there and work on some assignments in peace. It was also a great time to get to know Neville more.

"I love Herbology so much. It's a really misunderstood subject, I think," whispered Neville. "Plants are so amazing and powerful. There's so much you can do with them!" he continued.

"I take it you want to be a Herbologist after school?" you asked.

"Of course! My real dream is maybe to come back to Hogwarts and work with professor Sprout. I want to share my love and knowledge for Herbology. Maybe one day I'll inspire others to see the magic of it all."

You loved speaking with Neville. He was very intelligent and compassionate. "I hope one day too to be a professor as well," you admitted.

Neville nudged your side with his elbow and said, "Maybe we'll wind up working side by side in the future." The thought of it made you feel cozy inside.

When class was over, you practically skipped to the library to have some time alone.

You pulled up a chair at a deserted table over by the restricted section. You were happy for a little solitude after the day. But it seemed that your peace wouldn't last long. Pridefully, Draco was marching over with a shit-eating smirk on his face. He waved a piece of parchment at you and nodded his head over to the restricted section.

Confused but tempted, you left your studying and followed him over to a small door where he unlocked it swiftly. He ushered you inside and shushed you just as you were about to protest.

Closing the door behind him, he turned and looked at you expectantly. You had no idea why. HE was the one who pulled you in here.

"The hell is going on, Draco?" You interrogated. He shushed you again and held up the piece of paper. It looked forged, and it probably was. But it was a permission slip allowing the two of you to enter the restricted section to do some research for a DADA project. Snape and the librarian's signatures were on it.

Your mouth was agape, and you wondered what game he was playing at. You decided to confront his recent hot and cold behavior. "Draco, I don't get it. You called me a ninny last night, and then you watched your friends snicker about my stupidity all day. What do you want?"

"To apologize." There was no hesitation. The words left his mouth the moment you stopped speaking. His eyes sparkled with something unfamiliar to you. You decided to bite.

"I'm listening," you said.

Draco's eyes moved down to your lips and back up again in one swift motion. He licked his own ever so slightly and whatever butterflies were in your stomach were full out doing kicks and flips. "You won't need to listen for this one." And in one rapid motion, his lips were on yours. Hungry and greedy. A soft moan escaped your mouth, and he gently placed one hand on your cheek and cupped it. The other drew you in by the nape of your neck. Your brain felt like goo. What was happening? His tongue searched around your mouth as if searching for something he had lost, and you hoped he would never find it.

You leaned fully into him, placing one hand on his chest and the other on the back of his neck. Lightly digging your fingers into his neck, Draco picked you up, and you wrapped your legs around his waist. You felt in sync with him. He pushed you against a bookshelf and began to plant rapid kisses on your neck and collarbone. You could feel yourself becoming breathless, but you tried desperately to not make too much noise at the fear of getting caught. But it made you all the more hungry for him.

His mouth returned to yours, ravenous like a lion devouring a gazelle. Slowly, his kisses decelerated, and you could tell he was breathless as well. He stopped for a moment, face still inches away from yours, and gazed into your eyes. His eyes were intense and beautiful. He was searching for something in yours, but you didn't know what. You kept gazing at each other trying to catch your breath.

Finally you broke the silence. "Draco...what was that?"

Silence thickened around you, and you eagerly wanted him to say something to quell your anxious thoughts. He gently dropped you to the ground and ran his hand through his hair. The only words he uttered before darting out the door were, "I'm sorry."


	4. The Aftermath

Days passed, and then days turned into weeks. 

Of the two classes you had with Draco, he never looked remotely in your direction. A pang strung through your chest. He had been so cruel and unkind, yet you couldn't stop replaying the moment in your head over and over again.

Every time you did, heat flushed to your cheeks and in between your legs. You couldn't get the mental image out of your mind, and you almost didn't want to.

The feeling of your hands running through the back of his hair seared into your fingertips. The ferocity and desire in his lips burned like coals in your mind. The sensation of his breath tangled with yours was still etched in your memory.

It was a brisk Friday afternoon, and you had a free period between some of your earlier classes before potions. You decided to sit in the courtyard with a book and a cup of tea trying despairingly to combat the random flashes of your encounter in the library. Thankfully, you sat alone. Otherwise, you knew that your crimson cheeks would give way to some secret.

But like secrets, some things were always within arms' reach. In this case, Draco across the courtyard with his goons. Just watching them together felt revolting. How could he tolerate their childishness and cruelty? 

It must have been quite easy for him, actually. You thought that maybe those fleeting bits of light you saw in him were just that. Fleeting.

You swallowed a deep gasp of air, but when you exhaled, it still felt like next to no air reached your lungs. So you tried again. And again. And again. Frustrated that you couldn't catch your breath, you slammed your book shut, huffed, and started briskly making your way out of the courtyard. This seemed to grab the attention of Pansy Parkinson, the girl in the group who's name you learned a few days after your library escapade. 

You tried to quicken your pace and keep your head down, but she bolted like a sled dog on a mission to place her self in your way.

"So, what's a person like you doing in a place like this anyways? Stupid American, and a muggle born at that. You're not even worthy. I should kick your arse all the way back home," she expressed quite pompously. You rolled your eyes farther than you ever had. You heard of her reputation. All bark and no bite. She used her family name and reputation to intimidate and scare people so she could hold power. But you were no pushover.

"Piss off, Pansy. What's a person like you doing with a name like that? Oh wait, it's actually quite fitting." You pushed passed her, aggressively bumping into her shoulder on purpose. You thought you were quick, but she was quicker. She grabbed your shoulder and whirled you around, punching you square in the eye. 

Stunned and caught off guard, you fell on your ass and dropped your things. You slowly raised your fingers to your face and gently touched the place she socked. It was already bruising and painful. Your vision was a little blurry, and you had difficulty focusing your hearing. You had never been punched before. It actually wasn't as bad as you had imagined, but you were still quite taken aback.

Pansy stood over you like some sort of movie villain. She looked proud of what she had done.

"You'll learn soon enough that the world has no place for you, mudblood."

Mudblood. You had never heard that word before. But it made your blood stand still. There was something very sinister about it. Tears threatened to penetrate your eyes once more, but you held strong. 

You ignored her words and began to collect your things when you saw Draco running over out of the corner of your eye. You didn't dare look up. You didn't want to invite more taunts and harassment. Especially from the pale angel you couldn't stop thinking of.

"The hell is going on here Pansy? What did you do to her?"

Pansy rolled her eyes at Draco's remarks. "Please, Draco dear, we used to do this for fun. Where's your sense of nostalgia?" she pleaded playfully.

Your fists balled up a little at the thought of Draco physically and mentally harming people. But then, you realized you had already seen him do some of that to you. Why was it hard to admit to yourself that reality? Why were you still holding on to this tiny sliver of something you couldn't even name?

You looked up the slightest bit and saw anger distorting Draco's face. Pansy reached a hand up as if to brush his hair out of his eyes, but Draco snatched her wrist and clung on tightly. "Don't you dare lay a hand on her ever again, or call her names. Don't even breathe in her direction."

Pansy's eyes bulged in disbelief as she yanked her arm out of his grasp. "Sod off, Malfoy." And with that, she vigorously stomped off out of the courtyard. A soft but large hand extended down in front of you. When you realized it was Draco, you scoffed and stomped off the other direction. You felt powerful, but you also felt discontented. You knew you would see him again in just a few minutes.

You slinked into Potions and decided to stand at the front as you assumed that Draco and his crew would hide in the back. At the very least, you could avoid looking in their direction.

As always, Slughorn mosied on into the room with his lopsided but sincere smile. You tried to focus, but all his words blurred together like a drunken stupor. It wasn't until he said the words "love potion" that your ears finally perked up. Love potion?

"Yes, yes, everyone. Now don't get too excited. Amortentia is the most powerful love potion. However, you must be extremely cautious. For it is not real love. It is more like a deep infatuation, but like all potions, the effects wear off eventually."

An instinctive scoff escaped your mouth. You wish it hadn't.

"Something to say my dear?" asked Slughorn inquisitively. Humiliated, you just shook your head no. Slughorn tilted his head to the side and noticed your bruised eye. "Very well then. But, might I ask, are you alright?" He lifted a shaky finger up to his own eye to indicate what he meant. You felt like every eyeball in the room was searing into your face. 

"Just clumsy is all. Still trying understand the full layout of the school." You were getting better at lying to cover the truth. But you didn't like it. Your stomach gurgled uneasily. Not from hunger or nervousness. But shame. You don't lie. But you needed to.

He seemed to buy it. "Very well, very well. You be careful out there. We don't want you bumping your head and losing all your wonderful knowledge." He did that weird thing he always does where he laughs like he made the most wonderful joke. But no one else ever laughs. You kind of felt bad for him. "Well, please, might you join me up here and tell me what you know about Amortentia?" he continued.

Awkwardly, you shuffled to the front of the class and stood by him. Your brain scanned its memory bank to try and remember what you could from your reading. "Amortentia has a distinct smell. Or sometimes more than one smell. It changes person to person. You usually smell something that makes you think of a person you like, or you smell things they like. It smells like something that will attract you. And 'Amor-' is a Roman god of love, while '-tentia' is Latin for held." 

"Very good! Very good. Bright indeed. 10 Points to Gryffindor for your extraordinarily studious efforts. Thank you for that. Would you like to take a whiff and let us know what you smell?" asked Slughorn. You sighed deeply, wanting to just blend back into the crowd of your classmates, but you agreed. You scooted closer to the small black cauldron sitting in front of you. The steam coming off of the potion spiraled upwards. It was mesmorizing. The potion itself had a pearl-like sheen. 

The aroma hit you like a ton of bricks instantaneously. You became anxious suddenly. Your thoughts were flooded with images of Draco once again.

"I smell...green apple. Mint. And something else I can't quite place. Hmm. Christmas trees, I think." When you looked back up, you saw Draco's expression scrunching up a bit. Was your aroma tied to him? Did he know? Sheepishly, you crept back to your place next to your friends.

Dean nudged you with his elbow and gave you a comforting smile. You flashed a small one back. Crabbe and Goyle were pestering Draco in the back. You learned their names when you intervened on them tormenting Seamus a couple of Tuesdays ago. The two were making quite the ruckus now that Slughorn stopped his lesson for the moment.

"Boys, if you can't keep your mouths closed, I might have to ask you to leave."

A quick tongue click followed by a groan fled Draco's mouth. This caused Slughorn to call him up and subject him to smelling the amortentia himself. He rolled his eyes a bit and lightly shook his head before sticking his head slightly over the cauldron.

"Let's see then...ocean mist, rain on the pavement, and...Irish breakfast tea..." His voice trailed off at the end to just barely a whisper. But you heard it. Irish breakfast tea. It was the only tea you ever drank. The other two were probably your favorite smells in the world. No. It wasn't possible.

He wasn't drawn to you. You refused to believe it.

"This is stupid," you heard him mutter before pushing his way back to his spot in the crowd. You dropped your head down. It felt too heavy to hold up. Your head was a ball of solid concrete. Your heart was sharp, and jagged pieces of glass ripped apart its surroundings. 

The rest of class passed by in a blur. Your stomach felt like a sack of rocks weighing you down. As soon as everyone was dismissed, you left in a scurry, hoping to just go back to the common room and sleep off the seemingly unshakable heaviness of the day. You had a few more classes, but what would be so bad about skipping a few once? Unluckily, you were caught by Ginny.

"Hey, you, Hagrid's class is the other way. Still having trouble making your way around the castle?"

She had been so kind to you in the last few weeks. You couldn't bare to lie to her, but you couldn't bare your soul to her either. Rocking nervously from one foot to another, tightly biting down on your bottom lip, you knew your body would threaten to betray all your secrets to her. "I'm just...not feeling too well today. Thought I might ditch classes the rest of the afternoon and lie down," you mustered out.

"Oh, I'm so sorry." She reached out and gingerly touched your arm, squeezing it reassuringly. "Well, if you need a hot bath, I could give you the password to the Prefect's bathroom. Give yourself a chance to relax a bit? I heard what happened with Pansy." Her face turned downward in a frown. You could tell she wanted to ask if you were okay but knew that the answer deep down was no. She was so intuitive that way.

"How do you have the password to the Prefect's bathroom if you're not a Prefect?" 

"It's also for head boys, girls, and Quidditch captains. And you're looking at Gryffindor's most awesome Quidditch captain. Don't tell Harry I said that." Ginny looked around the corridor to make sure no one was around to hear, and then she told you the password. You thanked her, and she departed with a quick hug before lightly jogging down the hall to reach class on time.

Turning around yourself, you bumped directly into something hard when you rounded the corner. Apologizing profusely, your mouth turned to cotton when you finally looked up. It was Draco.

You tried to keep going, but he grabbed your arm. Not hard. Very gently actually. That touch alone sent a tingle up your spine, and you felt inclined to give your attention.

His face turned serious. "Are you okay? Ditching class doesn't seem like you."

"I'm fine. Not like you care," you whispered. You crossed your arms and looked up at him with a blank face.

Draco's head hung at a small angle. He drew in a long and uneven breath. "I want to talk to you about it. Make things right. Try to make you understand. How about over a bath?" Draco's expression turned devilish, and he winked at you. It felt like the floor beneath you turned to mush, but you held your ground. He clearly overheard your conversation with Ginny.

"You are full of mystery, Draco Malfoy."

"And you are full of wonder. Very well then. Sorry to bother." He started to amble off when you grabbed his arm this time. You paused trying to imagine the consequences of your actions. Cupping one side of his face with your hand, you teased, "I don't think you could handle it".

And there was that devilish twinkle once again before he continued on his way.

You took a deep breath in and sighed out loudly. You wondered what karmic bad the universe had in store for you. For all you had done, you were somehow surrounded by warmth, light, love, and friendship. You were certain with every fiber of your being that it was the exact opposite of what you deserved.

You decided to go straight to having a nap and taking a bath later. As you trudged through the corridors back to the common room, you thought to yourself that maybe this was the universe's plan. To pull you in with warm and salty waters, a bright blue sky above you, and the sun glistening on your skin. When you were content and distracted, then the storm would come, current beating against your back, pulling you down into the darkness that you earned.


	5. The Perfect Bath

Seven drops. Seven drops. Seven fucking drops. The sound of dripping grew louder like rain turning into a hailstorm. Flashes of green, white, pink, purple, turquoise, grey, and orange flashed in front of you. Lightning? Spells? You couldn't make out where it was coming from. You shielded your eyes, but it was still so bright, so hard. You covered your ears, but it was still so deafening. You just wanted it to stop. 

And then it did. You wake up in a cold sweat, breath shaking and quivering like you ran a half marathon. 

You observed the room around you and saw there was no one inside, but noticed it was just starting to get dark out. You looked at your watch. 5:03 pm. Dinner was just starting, but you were still too uneasy to eat. Pondering on what you should do, you concluded that you would take up Ginny's suggestion of a bath. 

Thankfully, the Prefect's bathroom was just down the hallway from the Gryffindor common room. You collected some fresh clothes and made your way over.

When you arrived, the entryway was blocked by a statue of a gangly, old man with thin, grayish-brown hair and a long, thick mustache. He leapt to life when you got closer and asked for the password which you supplied.

"Apricot fritters," you said confidently.

The statue bowed his head slightly and moved aside to show the entrance. You felt that you were breaking dozens of school rules, but you rushed inside anyways.

Upon entering, your breath stilled for just a moment while taking in the wondrous beauty of the Prefect's bathroom. Near floor to ceiling stained glass windows with mermaid art, a bathtub probably the size of a small pool, at least 50 faucets, white and brown marble flooring, towels and plush robes all around, and a stunning dome ceiling. You had never seen anything like it.

You walked over to the dozens of water taps and, unsure if any did anything special, you started to turn random ones on. Finding that they were all just water, you made your way over to a small shelving unit by the towels and robes. There were oils, salts, bubbles, you name it. You grabbed a bottle of suds and poured some into the running water. Content with your concoction, you returned over to the side and began to undress. 

Slowly you climbed into the hot water which felt akin to being in a jacuzzi. You felt immediately relaxed. The water filled at a ridiculous speed, but you suppose that's magic. Happy with the water level and bubble level, you made your way around the enormous tub and turned off the taps one by one. Finally, you sat down, water reaching just above your breasts, and you laid your head back onto the edge and closed your eyes.

Ginny was right. This was what you needed. You drew in deep breaths, taking in the aroma and relaxation. But it didn't last long.

The sound of cautious and calculated footsteps was enough to make you jump out of your skin. Your back was to the door, so when you turned around, you weren't excepting to see him standing there. 

Draco.

You didn't think he'd actually come.

"Fucking, what the hell Draco?! What are you doing in here?" you screeched.

"Don't underestimate what I can handle." The absolute power he held looking downward at you while you sat exposed. Covered by bubbles, but still feeling exposed.

"Fine...I guess-I guess that's fair," you stammered.

Draco's eyes twinkled with playfulness. A huge part of you liked this. Throwing out all the hurt he had caused you was easy to do when he towered over you in your vulnerable state.

"It's been a stressful week love. Still mind if I join?" Love. Your knees went weak when he said it. Your stomach dropped into a bottomless pit. Instantly your mind flashed back to the afternoon in the library. Some carnal, primal, ravenous part of you craved to be flesh to flesh again. 

You sighed. You didn't want to show any sign of enjoying this. "Sure," you muttered.

While Draco casually undressed in the corner, you did everything you could to look the other way. It was even harder to do so as he slinked into the water with you. Even if it was only several feet away, the distance between you felt wider than a Hungarian Hornback's wingspan. 

This was awkward. He was so cold to you in public, but so warm to you in private. Your head started to spin trying to make sense of it, so you stopped trying to make sense of it and actually tried to get some answers.

"I don't get you," you stated abruptly.

"What do you mean?" He looked sincerely confused. His head tilted to the side just a little like a puppy. You chose your next words carefully.

"We had a nice meeting, and then you were rude. And then you corner me in the library to have this hot and heavy makeout session, and then you turn cold again. Your best friend who's clearly in love with you calls me a mudblood and punched me. You came to defend my honor, and then you get all weird again. And now...we're here." You could barely make eye contact with him. You hoped for answers, to understand once and for all. But your insides went wobbly thinking of hearing something you would hate.

Draco inhaled like he had been shot with an arrow. "It's okay," you cooed.

"I've been told things all my life. Things that I'm starting to question. I-I can't really explain it. And I don't know that I'm ready to try to." There were undertones of pain in his voice. A longing to be heard and understood. A desperation for it to stop hurting. You knew quite well how he felt.

"Okay then," you answered.

"Okay then? That's it? No third degree?" asked Draco wildly.

"If you're not ready to, you're not ready to. I-I know how you feel more than you know. We all have things."

Draco nodded while absent-mindedly staring off to the side. "No one's ever just listened to me. They always want me to say something. Want me to explain something. Do something. Be something. No one's ever just let me be me for a few moments of time." You could tell he was trying immensely to stop his voice from breaking.

"How's your eye?" he asked.

"It's fine," you mumbled.

"I'm sorry about her. We...she...sees the world one way. No shades of gray. I'm starting to think she might be wrong."

"She was pretty harsh," you stated.

Draco bit his lip and looked down in shame. "I've never been far off from her. I-I-" He couldn't continue. His words trembled and his chest heaved unevenly. 

"Let's take your mind off of it all, yeah?"

He turned his head towards you, those troublesome blues sparkling with ideas and his anxieties melting away. "I can think of a few ways to do that."

Every part of your body burned when he said that. You felt hot, and not just from the water. Your pulse quickened, and you never took your eyes off of the boy sitting across from you. Your breath hitched, and you starting biting your bottom lip, fantasizing about the intimate possibilities.

Draco took note of your body language and passed the short distance between you two like an alligator pouncing on its next meal. His lips clashed into yours, and you inhaled his scent deep into the caverns of your lungs.

His slender hands held both sides of your face, fingers lightly pressing in as if you and this moment would float away from his grasp. You launched your arms outward and around his back pulling him in more. If you could, you would try to make your bodies one entity.

Draco's breath quickened with yours as his fervorous mouth moved to your jaw, neck, collarbone, then your breasts. Your back arched in pleasure, and your hands tangled themselves in a weave around his neck and hair. His movements slowed as if he was trying to capture the moment perfectly. One arm around your back, fingers lightly digging into your side. Small and gentle kisses trailed around your breast, deliberate and unhurried until he reached your stiff point. A soft and steady tongue extended towards it's tip. Lightly making rings around nipple. Methodically teasing, or savoring the moment? You weren't sure. But you relished in every second he gifted you.

Soft moans fled your mouth like escaped convicts. Draco pushed your breast up and squeezed, beginning to suck on your achingly sensitive bud. Slow and steady turned to fast and hungry and then to greed in no time at all. In one swift motion, Draco grabbed you from underneath your ass and hoisted you up on the edge of the tub.

Carefully he parted your legs to reveal an oasis he so desired to drink from. His eyes turned more lustful as he gazed for a moment before looking up into your eyes. He brought his face back down to your inner thigh and planted velvet kisses closer to your pussy. At each one, he paused.

"Is this okay?" Over and over and over. The tenderness in his voice was more than enough to make you gush like a waterfall. His last kiss landed on top of your clit, and he exhaled entirely as he began to lap you up like a drink. Up and down and in between your folds. Slowly at first, but then more feverishly. As if he was having his last meal on death row. He re-centered and focused his mouth on your sensitive point, meticulously drawing circles and zig zags like an art piece. You threw your head back in satisfaction, slowly making your way towards the mountain peak.

Draco took his long and slender index finger and slid it inside of you, diligently making his way towards your ridges. One finger then became two, and the pleasure became too great to overcome. You let out a loud but short moan, and your breath became more uneven and heavy. Your hands found their way to the back of Draco's head, and you tightened your grasp on his hair, pushing his face deeper into your cunt.

His fingers glided over your g-spot delicately, gently bringing you closer and closer to climax. You wanted it achingly much. 

"D-Draco. Please."

"Please what?" he asked.

You felt embarrassed to beg, but your body was starting to ache in anticipation. "Faster. I want to cum."

"You'll have to try harder than that, darling." Your stomach dropped once again, and with his digits still inside you manipulating your pleasure center, it became hard to form words.

"P-please Draco. Make me cum. Make me scream."

"Only if you're screaming my name," he teased.

"Only your name. Only yours," you whispered.

Eagerly, Draco returned his luscious pink lips to yours and increased his rhythm inside of you. Every part of your body began to quiver and shake. The tension bubbling and rising in every crack and crevice. Draco kept sucking on your clit and lapping up your juices like he'd never drink again. And on the edge of climax, you let out consistent and countless moans and breaths until all the tension released itself between your legs.

"Fuck! Draco, yes that feels so good. Fuck."

Unable to keep yourself sat up any longer, your collapsed onto your back and draped your arm over your forehead. Draco pulled himself out of the water and laid down next to you. While you tried to recover your breath, he stayed silent but kept his eyesight on you.

Turning into a human beet, you grew self conscious. "What?" you dared ask.

A cheeky grin erupted on his face along with a small laugh.

"You're beautiful when you cum."

You didn't know how to respond to such an endearing compliment. So instead you gave him a tiny shove and laughed. You both laid there in silence looking up at the ceiling for what felt like hours but was probably just a few minutes.

Eventually you began to grow cold, and you inevitably let out a shiver. Draco sat up and reached his hand out, which you instinctively took. He beckoned you to sit back in the warm suds. He draped an arm around your shoulders and you nuzzled into his chest.

"Draco that was...amazing. I haven't felt that pleasured in so long."

"Glad I could be of service," he whispered. He seemed honest, but his expression turned blank quickly as he stared out ahead and into nothingness. Concerned, you tried to get a read on him, but nothing came to mind. Minutes passed in quiet before he drew his arm back rather abruptly and hastened out of the water. 

You were confused, but sadly somehow not surprised.

"Draco?" 

Nothing.

"Is everything okay?" you pressed.

Nothing. Furious movements of putting his clothes back on, and nothing again as he stormed out of the bathroom.

This time, when tears threatened to flood, you did nothing to stop them.


	6. Surprises

Hints of orange cream and yellow lemon drops peered through the dormitory windows. Sunrise was always your favorite time of day. The world is always still and tranquil. It sang promises of washing away the dirt and grime of the day before.

Sleepily you threw your blankets and sheets off of you and let your feet soak in the softness of the Gryffindor rug beneath your feet. You were determined to ground yourself and push through the day. You weren't going to let Draco ruin you. 

You said it the first day. No romance. No heartache. No pain. Focus on your studies. Get out and become someone.

Inauspiciously, you couldn't wrestle the feelings of last night out of your mind. You moved sluggishly through your morning routine.

Pulling on a white t-shirt and your favorite jet black cardigan made you reminisce of Draco's hands curving around your breasts. As you pulled your socks up your legs, you couldn't help but be reminded of his hands slowly easing their way up. Even putting your hair into a tight pony made you ache for his fingers grasping and tugging at the back of your head. He was as infectious as he was intoxicating. You weren't sure if you could face a whole semester in classes with him. But try you would. Finally you tugged on your Gryffindor red skirt and readied yourself for the day.

You walked down to the common room to find Ginny reading a newspaper upside down. You shot her a look with a raised eyebrow, and she giggled quietly. "It's the Quibbler. Luna Lovegood's father publishes and edits for it," explained Ginny.

"Who's Luna?" you asked.

"She's in Ravenclaw. Sweet girl. A bit funky and eccentric. But she has a really good heart." You nodded in understanding as she continued on. "Oh, by the way. I have a surprise for you."

Your interest was especially piqued. "Oh?"

Ginny twisted in her seat to reach over and pick up a large package wrapped with a neat golden bow. She extended her arms and the package towards you.

"Is this for me?" You were surprised she was giving you a gift. You sat down on the couch next to her and grabbed the package. You held it in your lap for a few moments with your mouth agape. You made no movement to open it as you were still awestruck.

"It's not a bomb," Ginny teased.

A tiny laugh pushed it's way out of your mouth. You gently tore into the box not wanting to make too big of a mess. When you removed the lid, you found a dark scarlet sweater with your first initial in gold. You took the sweater out, gazing with your mouth still wide open. It was thick and heavy but seemed so cozy and warm. You held it outward to get a full look at it. It looked homey and exactly your size. A few tears began to gather at your eyes. At this sight, Ginny spoke up.

"I told mum about you. How you transferred, how hard probably is, but how courageous you've been. I practically gushed over you like a school girl. She loves making sweaters. We come from a big family so, we always welcome more surrogate Weasleys."

You couldn't contain your elation and threw your arms around Ginny's neck and started to cry. Ginny hugged you back like a straight jacket and rubbed your back as she loosened her grip.

"There's one more thing in the box. She goes all out sometimes," Ginny stated.

In all the excitement, it totally breezed by you that there was another item in the box. This time, you full on sobbed. You had to stand to take the full contents out, and you almost felt like you were in a dream. But there before your very eyes was the most gorgeous dark purple ball gown. It was a halter top with an A-line plunge and a slit towards the bottom. It looked tight around the top a bit more flowy as it reached the bottom. As you turned it around to examine it more, it looked as if it was mostly backless.

"Ginny, this dress must have cost a fortune! I can't accept this," you pleaded.

Ginny held up a hand and shook her head. "Don't be silly. Mum makes almost all of our clothes. She's magical in more ways than one. I told her about the ball and her first reaction was if you had anything to wear having heard about it so late. So she took it upon herself to make sure you could go."

You draped the dress over the couch and wrapped your friend up in another long embrace. You couldn't stop the tears from flowing. Minutes passed and you were still crying. Ginny started to grow concerned. "What's wrong? Is it too much?"

"No, not at all. Please give your mom the warmest and greatest of thanks for me. I just, haven't been feeling very worthy of anything good these days," you confessed.

Ginny's face looked hurt on your behalf. "Rubbish! You throw those thoughts away right now! I would never have as much poise and bravery transferring to a new school, let alone moving to a new country, the way you have. I'm honored to have you for a friend." There was that Ginny Weasley sincerity that tugged your heart strings into a melodious tune.

All you could do was wipe the water from your eyes and whisper a thank you. As if she could sense you were overwhelmed, she gave you one last hug with no more words besides the mention of going to get breakfast.

She helped you bring your new items upstairs to your dorm before heading to the Great Hall with you.

You sat down for breakfast with Ginny, Dean, Seamus, and Neville. Neville politely greeted you, but he stuck his nose back in the Herbology book he was reading. When you told the boys about the sweater and dress, Dean let out a low whistle.

"Who're you going to ask to the ball? Or will you wait for someone to ask you?" he inquired.

You hadn't really thought of it, but you thought that if it was the right person, you would have the courage to just ask yourself. There was no shame in it. 

It was at this time that Neville closed his book. "Well, I've no doubt that you'll find the perfect date, but if you want to go together--just as friends--I'll happily go with you."

You grinned from ear to ear. Neville was as adorable as he was sweet. "I'd like that Neville. I'll let you know."

"I'm sure she'll have a big lot to pick from then," giggled Seamus.

You shot him a perplexed look. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"Well, I've already heard of a few lads asking about you. And Ginny has as well." Seamus grinned mischievously. "I heard Zacharias Smith arguing with Michael Corner about who was going to ask you first. Zacharias is the Hufflepuff chaser, and Michael is in Ravenclaw," he continued. 

Ginny intervened with her intel. "Two more Hufflepuffs. One Ernie Macmillan, and the other Justin Finch. They were both in DA with us two years ago. So was Zacharias and Michael. All good guys. You can't go wrong really." DA. Dumbledore's Army. You remembered Ginny and Neville telling you about Umbridge two years ago and Harry's defiance against her. You wished you could meet Harry, Ron, and Hermione. They all seemed well-revered. 

As you mulled over the choices in men you had never met, a dark blonde girl around your height came wandering over. She wore a white button down and a dark gray vest and had a Ravenclaw tie on. Her wand was tucked behind her ear like a pencil. She seemed dreamy and not quite there. She was also carrying a copy of The Quibbler.

When she reached the table, she greeted everyone and sat next to Ginny. Her voice was low, sweet, and airy. "Morning everyone. And hello. I don't think we've met yet. I'm Luna." She reached out a slim and tiny hand your direction. You shook it and introduced yourself. She smiled a small beam and turned back to the rest of the group.

"So. What are we talking about?" she asked.

"Potential Yule Ball dates for this one," answered Ginny as she playfully poked you in the side.

"Oh, how lovely. I'm very excited for the ball. I had so much fun at the last one. Who's on the radar?" Luna inquired. You listed off the names you were just told, and Luna agreed that they were all pretty great guys. "I have heard of another who's interested. He said something in my Charms class. But I don't think you should entertain it," she continued.

"Why's that?"

"Who's that?" Dean added.

"Theodore Nott. He's in Slytherin. He doesn't seem all that bad. He's quiet and spends a lot of time alone. But I've never been able to get a read on him one way or another. It is known though that his father is a death eater."

Dean's fists balled up in anger. "Seems to be why the only time he does spend with people, he's always with Crabbe, Goyle, and Malfoy. Definitely don't go with Nott. He's been known to bully muggles and muggle born along with the rest."

Torment clawed at your heart like a lion shredding into its prey. You tried to play it cool. "What do you mean by that, Dean?"

"It's obvious isn't it?" he scoffed. "Their fathers are all death eaters. And given Nott's history, he'd probably want to ask you out as a joke." 

"Harry reckons that Draco's already on the way to becoming one himself," Ginny added.

Your blood didn't just run cold. It turned into frozen rivers, unchanging and no sign of spring on the horizon. Doing everything in your power not to betray your hurt, you plastered on a sham of a smile and departed saying that you wanted some time alone to get ahead on studying.

Death Eater. Even across the pond you heard of these ghouls. Their wickedness and evil. Serving The Dark Lord like a lap dog. If Draco's father was a Death Eater, would he follow suit? Mind abuzz and disoriented, you paced the hallways turning random corners and going up random stairs. You didn't have a destination. You just couldn't bear to be still.

You weren't sure where in the world you ended up, but it was deserted and quiet. Just what you needed.

Your legs moved a mile a minute up and down the corridor you were in. They were going as fast as your thoughts. Could Draco really be a Death Eater? You heard rumors that they were marked with a magical tattoo on their forearms, but you remembered distinctly that his arms were barren. 

All you wanted, more than anything, was to understand Draco further and find any information that would lead you to his probable secrets.

With that thought, the wall in front of you began to change. At this point, nothing surprised you, so you just watched in curiosity as the wall formed a doorway. It was small and almost unassuming. A wooden door that arched upwards to a point with black iron decor twisting into spirals.

You had no earthly idea what this door was, but it felt like an answer. The moment you wished for something, the door had appeared. Normally you wouldn't condone going into strange, magically appearing doors, but you felt drawn as if you were attached to some piece of rope pulling you in.

Taking another look around, you still saw no one in the corridor, and you proceeded cautiously towards the entrance. 

Upon moving into the room, you were greeted with a massive clutter. Your brain couldn't quite process all the junk thrown about.

Old desks and chairs, boxes, clothing racks, cabinets, hundreds of books, journals, quills, jackets, shoes, empty bottles of fire whiskey, and a smorgasbord of other random items. It seemed like a place people came just to hide or throw junk out.

You were still unsure of what exactly the room was or if you were even allowed to be in it, so you crept silently around with your ears and eyes perked for any other guests. 

After a few grueling moments, you heard a creak, almost like a door. But it hadn't come from the direction you just came, but rather, off to your right. You made your way towards the sound, and there you saw Draco standing in front of a towering black cabinet. The door was open and probably the culprit of the creaking. His left hand curled around the door, and he stood staring inside whilst remaining so still.

He was dressed in an all black suit. Even though you couldn't see the front of him, you sensed that he looked immaculate. 

Burning to get a closer look, you dared to step forward just a bit. Your heart completely stopped when you heard the shatter of a small vase hitting the floor. You hadn't even realized you bumped into anything. 

As you quickly hid yourself back around the corner, you heard Draco yell out.

"Who's there?" His voice was a low growl, and you were terrified. When your flight or fight kicked in, you were disappointed to find that your body chose to remain glued to your position.

Very shortly after, Draco rounded the corner and spotted you with his wand in your face.

His face warped into anger and bewilderment. "The hell are you doing here? How did you get in? No one should be able to get in," he said through gritted teeth. There was so much fury lying beneath the surface, but you could tell he was trying to keep the fire contained.

"I-I-I don't know, I just-I'm sor-I don't know how-I'm sorry. I was just wandering the castle and then-it just appeared, and then I don't know." A baseball sized lump was welling in your throat, making it hard to breathe or speak. With all the new information you were given about Draco, and being in a secret room with no witnesses, you wondered if he would end your life right then and there.

Draco's eyes examined your face with rigor. His expression turned from wrath to calculation. He slowly licked his lips and looked upward in thought.

"Then I suppose I'll just have to punish you."


	7. Bound in Secret

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Hello again! If you've made it this far, thank you so, so much for sticking around. Please be warned this is the start of some real smutty scenes. While it's not full on hot and heavy...yet...this is your final warning that this story is 18+. That being said, please enjoy the ride. ;)

"W-what?" you managed to croak out. 

Draco leaned in, his face inches from yours. "You heard me."

In a singular motion, he grabbed at the knot of his green tie, pulled down, and yanked it over his head. You watched his fingers meticulously undo the tie completely before putting your wrists together and wrapping them with some kind of knot in the middle. A small part of the tie draped down, and he grabbed it while wrapping it around his hand tightly.

Using his grasp on the tie, he pulled your body firmly into his. His chest heaved greatly, and his shoulders moved up and down with each jagged breath. He looked down on you, still silent, with lascivious eyes.

"Come here," he demanded.

He pulled on the tie with urgency to bring you out into a less crowded space. "On your knees."

Draco was usually a man of few words, but this was a whole new world. You kept your gaze on him, challenging him. Part of you was still in shock, and the other part was tingly and excited.

Still standing upright, Draco used his free hand to grab your face at your chin. "On. Your. Knees. Now." His voice was a low growl.

Electrified by being completely at his mercy, you nodded and did as he commanded. Draco undid his belt and whipped out his stiff erection. Dribbles of precum let you know he was longing for this as much as you were.

The sight of you licking your lips caused fire to leap into his eyes. When your lips finally closed around his tip, the saltiness made you thirstier like drinking ocean water.

Draco's hands made their way to the back of your head as he pushed himself deeper into your mouth. "Good girl." His breath grew more uneven as his head cocked back in pleasure. His moaning fueled your speed, precision, intensity. Realizing that no one would be able to hear either of you drove you mad with lust.

You wanted to savor the moment.

You brought your bound hands up to his shaft and coiled one hand around it. Slowly, you moved it back and forth, focusing your tongue and lips on his tip. You slowed your pace to tease him a little, but Draco had other plans.

He thrust deep into your throat once again and held it there. 

"We're doing this my way, you little slut." His fists balled up around your hair as he pushed in and out of your mouth. You choked on his girth as tears welled in your eyes from the pressure. When he pulled out to give you some air, you gasped deeply with thick saliva drooling down your chin. 

Draco pulled an pocket square out of his suit jacket and said, "Wipe off, dear."

You did as he told, and when you finished, he stood you up and instantly ruined your clean up with a wet and sloppy kiss. It was different than his other kisses. While they were hungry and passionate, they were also succulent and breath stopping. This one was famished, careless, and drunk.

He made quick work tugging off your layers of clothes until you were fully nude. Once you were, he took a step back and inhaled sharply. 

His eyes mulled over every section of your body while he stroked his cock slowly.

He then nodded over to a nearby table. "Bend over."

At this time, your entire being, inside and out, was ignited with desire. You immediately did as told, imagining what was going to happen next.

You moved to the table and bent forward over it. You heard Draco's clothing drop to the floor. Turning your head slowly, you caught a glimpse of him marching over with purpose. When he reached you, you could feel his dick pushing against your ass. His hands grabbed your side, and he slowly moved them down the curves of your body until he got to your hips.

He paused there for so long that you grew impatient.

"Draco-" A stinging pain formed around your ass cheek. It took a second to realize that he just spanked you. Hard.

"Quiet." He leaned further into you, pressing his mouth against your ear. "We're doing this on my time," he whispered. The warmth of his breath caused you to moan a little. He kept his mouth right next to your ear. You could hear the smile in his voice. 

"Ah, does that turn you on? What a little whore. If I can make you this wet now," he said as he moved his hand towards your throbbing opening, "imagine what you'll be like when I'm done with you," he finished.

You felt as if you were soaked at this point. You could feel your arousal wetness clinging to his fingers as he moved around the outside of your vagina. Instinctively, you moved your hips around in every direction, trying to get yourself off a bit.

"You're quite the impatient one. Spread your legs," he ordered. You spread your legs a little further than shoulder length. He brought two fingers up towards your mouth which you sucked on with dedication.

"Is this what you want?" he asked as he shoved those same two fingers inside of you. A small yelp left your mouth followed by a deep and short moan. He kept a moderate rhythm as his left arm wrapped around your waist and slid down towards your clitoris. He moved his fingers around your labia, moving closer and closer but then changed direction.

He was painfully teasing you now. Sweat formed around the back of your neck, you continued to move your hips around in protest, and a small whine crawled its way out of your mouth.

"Oh, I'm sorry. Is this not what you want?" he asked.

"Please, Draco."

Another sharp sting on your ass in the same spot as before. 

"Why should I give you what you want? You've been very naughty. Spying on me like that."

You felt guilty. You hadn't meant to spy on him, but you were enjoying your "punishment".

"I didn't mean-" Another spank. Harder than any of the others combined. Your whole body lurched forward. You tilted your head back a little and closed your eyes. The burning on your bottom felt so good, but you didn't want to end up bruised. You inhaled and kept your mouth shut.

"What a good girl you are. I think baby deserves something nice."

Draco pulled his fingers out of you and replaced it with the tip of his cock. He slowly rocked back and forth, barely going inside of you. Unable to take the building tension anymore, you turned your head over your shoulder.

"Draco, fuck me. Please fuck me. Any way you want but fuck me," you pleaded. You felt humiliated, but you desperately wanted to feel him fill you up.

You saw his serious demeanor turn into playful smirk as he thrust into you hard. Your body jolted forward and into the desk. He placed one hand on your shoulder and the other on your hip. Draco kept a consistent and medium pace. Your walls stretched and tightened back and forth around him. Both of your arms reached ahead as you clung on to the other side of the desk for stability. 

Your breathing became labored as he continued to rail you from behind. Draco's breath became irregular as well, and a mix of grunts and growls between closed teeth turned you on even more. He stopped abruptly, seeming to try and catch his breath.

"Stay here," he muttered as he pulled out of you and vanished around a corner. 

When he returned, he had a couple of blankets and two pillows in tow. He laid the blankets and pillows out before coming back to you. "Turn around."

You turned to face him, and he pulled your hands back up. Instead of guiding you this time, he undid the knot, freeing your wrists. He walked over to the makeshift bed he created and laid down. Both of his hands laid under his head as he looked at you expectantly. 

Wanting him inside of you again, you walked over and bent down onto your knees. You swung one leg over him, grabbed his shaft steady, and you slowly sat down into him.

Draco's head tilted back into the pillow as he let out a deep moan. As you moved up and down, you leaned your body down and mashed your lips into his. Increasing your speed, Draco moaned deeper. One hand was entwined in the back of your hair as he pulled your neck down to his lips. He began to drop long and gentle kisses up and down it. As you moved your hips in a forward and back motion, you felt his mouth open and his teeth dig lightly into your skin.

His other hand wandered down your back making fire paths with his nails. Your moaning grew louder and began to match his in volume.

You drew your back straight again and quickened your movements. Draco took one thumb and started to rub circles around your clit. Racing towards the edge, your vision grew hot and blurry. Faster and faster you pounded yourself into his hips.

"Who's cock is this?" Draco snarled.

"Mine. It's all mine," you panted.

He smiled again before his face twisted into pleasure. He matched his pace on you with your pace on him. "Don't stop," you begged between breaths. All the rising action finally culminated in climax, and you let out unashamed and blaring moans.

"I'm going to cum," he grunted out. You slipped yourself off of him and traded yourself with your hand. You jerked him off until his hot cum shot all over your face.

Draco's head thudded back onto the pillow as he followed suit to your moaning volume.

After giving himself a moment to catch his breath, he sat up and grabbed the pocket square from earlier. "Wipe off, dear," he repeated with a smirk. You couldn't suppress your laughter. 

After cleaning up your face, breathless, you laid down on the ground next to Draco. No words were exchanged between you two for quite some time. You decided to break the silence.

"Draco...I'm sorry it seemed I was spying on you. Honestly, I wasn't trying to. I just happened upon this room. I don't even know what it is."

He turned to lay on his side, facing you. He rested his head on his hand which was being supported by his elbow on the floor. "I'm sorry I got so cross with you. This space...I need it. I need the privacy."

"I understand," you said gently. "You won't have to worry about me at all anymore."

Pain betrayed Draco's face. "What do you mean?"

You breathed courage deeply into your lungs. "Draco, that was...amazing. But I can't keep doing this. This back and forth. The hot and cold. You're becoming an enigma that I no longer want to solve. I have a heart I want to protect." Your voice trembled. No part of you wanted to give up on him, but you knew it was best.

Draco's whole body seemed to slump, and then he rolled over onto his back again. One hand ran through his hair as the other clamped onto his mouth in thought. "You're right," he murmured. 

Bewildered, you asked, "What? Is Draco Malfoy admitting to being wrong?"

Without moving his head, his eyes flickered towards you in annoyance. An inevitable giggle spurted out of you, and like a contagion, Draco let out a hearty laugh.

"Come here," he whispered. He extended his arm, leaving a space for you to curl up into. Putting your negative feelings on the back burner, you slid into his arms and placed your head on his chest. You could feel his heart beating so hard that you thought it might burst out of his skin. One arm curled around your body while the other mindlessly stroked your hair. You felt safe. You felt all your anger and sadness fleeing towards destruction.

But you had to be strong. You couldn't let a warm and fuzzy moment let you go soft. Not at the expense of your heart.

You sat upright and faced him.

"We need to talk about this. Seriously talk about it," you demanded.

"Okay." Draco sat up to meet you at your level. "Do you have anything else you want to say to me?"

You thought it over for a moment. "Yes. You're infuriating. You're this nasty, annoying, bothersome leech in my brain. I can't get you out of there. And when we have these raw, intense, or sincere moments, you just...leave. And my mind bounces back and forth between desiring you and wanting to hit you. You can't--I can't let you do that anymore."

Draco exhaled and nodded. He looked deep into your eyes, holding your gaze while in thought. The light blue of his ocean irises carried the current of his emotions. Staring deep and long pulled you under, breathless and drowning.

You reached for his hands and whispered, "Talk to me. Whatever it is you have to say, I can handle it." 

You could almost visualize the mental calculations he was processing internally. He squeezed your hands gently before beginning.

"Remember how I told you that I don't feel like anyone's ever listened?"

You reflected back to that conversation at the bathroom. "Yes," you answered.

Draco hung his head down and rubbed his forehead. You could tell this was difficult for him. You placed a tender hand on his knee and ran your thumb back and forth. 

"I'm a Malfoy. People...expect things of you when you come from a certain family. But I'm not my family. I'm me. God, that probably sounds like a pile of rubbish."

"Stop that. No it doesn't. Your feelings are valid. No matter what they are or how silly you think they sound," you reassured. A small ting of anxiety rang through your head as you remembered the conversation you had with your friends in the Great Hall earlier. Malfoy's father was a Death Eater. Was this what he meant just now? Was he not wanting to follow in his father's footsteps like you rashly assumed?

Draco continued. "That first night, on the Astronomy tower? You didn't recoil or scoff when I told you my name. It was quite reassuring, but it was also terrifying. It made me want to get to know you, be close to you."

"You sound like you have a 'but' to add," you inferred.

"But--I don't know. I don't really have a reason to explain why I've been weird and distant. I guess, I try to let myself get close to you, and then I get scared." His bottom lip was quivering. He seemed on the verge of tears. Glad to have finally gotten some answers, your heart was still broken.

"Scared of what, Draco?"

"Hurting you. Losing you. I don't think I'm destined to have any happiness in my life," he confessed. His voice was barely above a whisper at this point. He lifted his head to search your face for any reaction to what he just said.

A few tears promptly skidded down your face. "Draco, I'm probably the first person on earth who understands exactly how you feel. I've...done things. Things that make my skin crawl. Things that keep me up at night. And the only thing I have ever been able to be sure about is that I do not deserve happiness. Or love." Your voice was breaking as more tears fell. You swallowed hard against the mass lumping together in your vocal chords.

You went to wipe away some of the tears on your cheeks when Draco's hand beat you to it. He ran his thumb softly over your face like you were made of glass. There was so much care and ease in the gesture.

"You could never be unworthy of love, darling," Draco whispered while cupping your face.

You leaned into his hand and kissed the palm of it. "Neither could you, Draco." You closed the gap between you with a soft kiss on his lips. You held his face with both hands and whispered again, "Neither could you." Another kiss on his cheek followed with, "Neither could you."

Draco pulled you down next to him with his arm wrapped around you once more. You rested you head on his chest again, falling asleep to the strumming of his heart.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HOLLLLYYYY CRAAAPPP!!! Thank you for over 150 hits in just a couple of days. I truly wasn't expecting it. I'm currently juggling a lot right now, but chapter 8 has been completed. I'm just waiting to proofread and edit a couple more times before publishing. Thank you guys so much!


	8. Blinded by Optimism

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Holy crap! Over 300 hits is unreal. I never thought that this could happen. Thank you guys so, so much! I hope you're all enjoying the story.

The following day was particularly sunny for a Scottish fall afternoon. Unfortunately, you weren't going to be able to enjoy it. Having skipped out on actually studying yesterday, you decided to head to the study hall to make up for it. To your surprise, it was quite packed. Perhaps everyone was cramming in last minute homework for classes the following day.

You found a section at one table with no one nearby and made yourself comfortable. You were most struggling with Herbology. It was an interesting subject, but not as interesting to you as any of your others. You made a mental note to yourself to ask Neville for some help.

You opened up your textbook, Flesh-Eating Trees of the World, as you would soon be studying dangerous and carnivorous plants in class.

You had barely written two paragraphs of notes on Venomous Tentacula before you felt hands clutching at your ribs and someone yelling, "Boo!"

Your startled yelp gained the attention of everyone nearby. But you weren't the only one they were looking at. When you finally turned around, you realized it was Draco.

"What is wrong with you? You nearly gave me a heart attack," you scolded. You continued to look around the room as more and more eyes fell upon the two of you. 

Draco laughed softly before sitting on top of the table, placing his feet on the bench.

"And can you not sit like an asshole?" you chided. A bit more laughter from Draco before he gave in.

"Fine, fine. Anything for you." The last line was spoken at a low rumble, probably to not draw in more attention.

Draco sat appropriately in the spot next to you, leaned in over your work, and asked, "What are you working on?"

"Herbology. I'm failing. Miserably."

"You? Failing a class? No way," replied Draco unconvinced. 

"Well, not technically failing. But if I don't keep up, I will be. I'm hopeless in Herbology. I just can't stay interested."

"I can think of a plant you're interested it. Though, I suppose, a stick's not a plant, is it?" joked Draco as he elbowed you.

Annoyed at his playfulness, and annoyed at yourself for liking it, you closed your Herbology book and gave him a small smack on the arm with it. "The hell was that for?" he asked incredulously. 

"For being extremely annoying. And annoyingly handsome. Now go away. I need to study. I missed out on a whole day of studying yesterday."

Draco's smile illuminated the whole room. People were still staring. You were certain, given his reputation, almost no one had ever seen him smile this much. 

Draco stood up and bowed down to your ear. "Can't tell me it wasn't worth it." He started off towards the door but then turned around. "Can I borrow a piece of parchment and your quill?" he inquired. Indifferent to it, you obliged. You watched Draco scrawl something on the paper and then carefully blow on it to help it dry quicker. When he was satisfied, he folded it it half and gave it to you along with your quill. With that, Draco turned and left.

You opened the paper discreetly under the table, already growing flustered as countless eyes still hadn't left your area.

There was only one line written. "I need a private, secluded, space with you." You weren't sure what he meant. Your first train of thought led you to think that he was simply asking for some alone time. But then upon rereading, you realized the word "need" was written in cursive and underlined. 

You pondered back to yesterday and tried to recall the myriad of conversations you had with Draco all afternoon. It then dawned on you. He eventually told you what the Room of Requirement was: A room fit for the seeker's needs. 

He wanted you to meet back there but in a specific type of room. The clue he gave you, you thought, was what he wanted you to think while passing by. Smiling to yourself, you refolded the note and tucked it away in a pocket.

"Hello? Are you okay?" 

Startled, you looked up and found Ginny and Dean standing over you.

"Ye-yeah? I'm fine. What makes you ask?"

Ginny and Dean both shot doubtful looks at each other. Dean started first. "We've been standing here for a good minute trying to get your attention."

"Yeah, we came in and saw Malfoy sitting next to you, but he was smiling? So, we were confused and just hung back. We came over to make sure you were okay once he left."

You hadn't realized you spaced out that hard while thinking of Draco.

"Oh, sorry. I just didn't sleep well last night." Lies. It was the first good sleep you've had since you arrived at Hogwarts. "I just spaced out, I guess." Not a lie, but you still felt a pang of guilt.

"Right, so is everything okay? With Malfoy I mean," inquired Ginny.

"And what was that note?" pressed Dean.

"Oh, that was nothing...Just, you know....A note from Professor Snape. Wants to meet with me...Something class related. And Draco doesn't seem as bad as everyone says." 

Ginny snorted. "Please. His father knowingly gave me Tom Riddle's Diary at the start of my second year. I nearly died because of it."

"Not to mention all the people he's terrorized in the last, oh I don't know, six years," chimed Dean.

Anger boiled up inside of you. You knew this was your friends just trying to look out for you. Granted, they have spent six years with him, but did they really know him? "I'm sorry, Ginny, for what happened to you, but Draco's dad isn't Draco," you spat out.

Ginny's face did not hide her pain well. "I suppose that's fair. He's still made fun of my family and me for being poor. And others for being muggleborn."

You inhaled sharply and realized the weight of where your words could go. 

"I'm sorry, Ginny. I don't mean to make light of your experiences. But people can change, right? Understand new things, acknowledge faults?" You were desperate for their understanding. A part of you wanted to know they would approve.

Ginny leaned in and put her head on your shoulder for a moment before speaking. When she did, she lifted her head and turned to look at you. "You have a very kind heart. You see good in people, and I would never want to take that away from you. I think-I think people can change. But I'm just not sure Malfoy has it in him."

You blinked back tears at her conclusion.

Dean expressed similar sentiments. "We just don't want you to get hurt. Malfoy has never been on the right side of the tracks."

You smiled a half-smile and reopened your Herbology book. You continued where you left off. Ginny and Dean began on some homework, but had continuous side conversations that were drowned out by your thoughts.

Deciding you wanted have some time alone to sort out both perspectives, you used the excuse that it was time for your meeting with Snape. As you were in the process of gathering your items, a white-bellied owl with tan feathers on its wings flew into the study hall. With a letter in its beak, it landed on the table in front of you.

Panic bubbled in your stomach and up to your throat. Disquiet sank its teeth into your chest. Owls only delivered mail at breakfast time unless it was an emergency.

It was well past breakfast hours.

"You alright?" Ginny asked. "You look like you've seen a ghost," she finished.

Your mouth was too dry to answer. All you could do was reach out and take the letter. You dreaded opening it, for you feared it held the worst. You breathed in fortitude and resilience as you opened the envelope and took out the paper. It wasn't enough.

You saw your name addressed at the top of the letter along with words like, "unfortunately," "inform," "sorry," and "peaceful." The words all muddled together into a blob of ink. You started to hyperventilate, and the shouts and questions from your friends were muted. Everything around you grew faint. The last things you remember before hitting the floor were your guttural screams and pleas of denial.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Three hours later

Your eyes fluttered open slowly. Your head hurt. A lot. You saw the school's healer, Madam Pomfrey, at the foot of your bed, as well as Ginny and Dean on either side of you. They both had their hands clasped around yours.

Ginny gasped and squeezed your hands while leaping out of her chair. "She's awake!"

Pomfrey shooed her out of the way to come around and check on you. "Alright, dear, how are you feeling?" 

"My head hurts," you said.

"Ah, I worried as much. I gave you a Calming Draught for the nerves and a Wiggenweld Potion for your head. I'll come 'round with another dose for it," she explained. "Unfortunately, I used the last of my stock. I've been asking Professor Snape for weeks now to brew me some more, but does he ever listen?" she continued as she threw her hands in the air. "I'll be back after I give him a right piece of my mind." She scurried off while muttering something about teaching Snape a lesson he'd never forget. You wished you could see that.

You were glad that your friends were here with you. "Thank you for being here. It means a lot to me," you professed.

"Of course we're here. I'm sure Neville, Luna, and Seamus would be here too if they knew. We hadn't had the chance to tell them. We came with you and haven't left," said Ginny.

"Plus, we weren't sure how it'd feel having five people staring you down as you woke up, even if they were all your friends," added Dean.

"It would make me feel like a freak. I suppose, though, I did a great job of making myself out to be one anyways. How bad was it? I kind of blacked out..." you cringed.

Dean and Ginny exchanged quick glances of concern. 

Ginny was the one to answer. "It wasn't pretty...But most everyone was just concerned. Dean grabbed the letter, though, to make sure no one was able to read it after all the chaos."

Dean reached into his front jean pocket and took out the crumpled letter. "Sorry I couldn't preserve it better," he said shamefully.

You closed your eyes as a few tears dripped down your face. "It's okay, Dean. Thank you for grabbing it and protecting my privacy."

Ginny began to nervously fiddle with her fingers as she averted your eyes.

"What is it Ginny?" you asked with bated breath.

"Please don't think ill of us. I was so concerned for you. I've never seen anyone in such hysterics. I couldn't imagine what was on the letter, so I read it. Dean did as well." Ginny's voice wobbled with apprehension.

You nodded your head slightly, trying to surmount the probable questions and consequences to come. You turned your head towards Dean and then to Ginny.

"It's okay. I know you were just worried. I couldn't ask for better friends. Now that you know things, I'll have to confess some stuff." Your voice trailed off in dread.

"You don't have to tell us anything you're not ready to," comforted Dean.

"No, I need to. I need to own up to what I've done. And once I tell my story, you might find that you won't want to be my friend anymore anyways." You sighed heavily before continuing. "The real reason I transferred was technically my parents. But it's more than that. My parents always lived this happy, idyllic, and loving life. They had the perfect marriage. Or so I thought. Things started to spiral especially when I received my acceptance letter to Ilvermorny. My parents knew there was magic deep in their bloodlines and that it was a possibility. But our whole lives were turning upside down."

You paused for a moment to take the hits of anguish that came with reliving your story.

"The arguing happened more often. It was worsened by my absence because to them I wasn't there to endure it. I-I-I..." Your voice shook so much that you weren't sure either of them could understand any of your words. You took a deep breath in to steady yourself.

"I tried to brew a Draught of Peace. To make them stop fighting. I just wanted them to be happy and in love again. To talk to each other without anger and yelling. But it's a difficult potion to brew. The tiniest of mistakes could cause drastic and irreversible effects. As for me, that's what happened. I'm still not sure exactly, but I think it was the Hellebore. You need seven drops, and I think it's possible that I put one too many without realizing. The big, bad, and permanent side effect is-i-is..." Sobs wracked your whole body, rendering you unable to continue.

"An irreversible sleep..." finished Ginny for you.

You nodded and mustered up some more spirit to continue.

"I was too ashamed to finish up my schooling at Ilvermorny. I reached out to Dumbledore immediately for a transfer request."

"And now the healers back home have reached out to tell you that they passed..." added Dean.

When the realization hit you, you were gutted, smashed, and broken beyond repair.

"I killed my parents," you croaked out.

You flung your hands to your face and wailed. Ginny and Dean continued to sit by your side, unwavering and dedicated to supporting you. The sobs maintained consistency but lowered in volume. Ginny was the first to speak up.

"You were wrecked with pain and guilt. You tried to bring joy and passion back into your parents lives. I'm sure they harbored no ill will towards you. Only adoration for a daughter with so much compassion for others."

Dean's face betrayed the conflict he was facing. "I can't lie. That's heavy stuff, mate. But I can't say I wouldn't have tried the same in your shoes. My father abandoned my mum and I when I was just born. He was trying to protect us from Death Eaters. He was later killed. For years, she never even knew he was a wizard or the lengths he went to protect us. I would have done anything to ease her agony. I'll take your secret to the grave, and my respect for you will go beyond that."

Ginny gripped your hand with comfort. "The same goes for me. I'm not going anywhere."

The elation from seeing how not alone you were, how loved you were, made your body convulse with more weeping. You became incoherent and inconsolable, but Ginny and Dean stood by you as promised. Even after perhaps half an hour of crying, they didn't leave. 

Time felt empty and meaningless. You weren't sure how much had passed. Between your wailing and moaning, you heard the infirmary doors open. You thought it was Madam Pomfrey, until Dean shouted out.

"The hell are you standing there staring for, Malfoy?!"

Draco? You wanted to turn and look for yourself, but your chest was so tight that you couldn't bring in any air. You just wanted the pain to stop. You didn't want Draco to see you like this. It felt like the ventricles of your heart were contracting and expanding. The pain shot through your entire chest and into the pit of your stomach.

You knew your face was probably severely red and puffy. You thought you looked like a monster. It would be fitting. You felt like one.

An irate Ginny briskly moved to Draco in a firestorm of fury. When she was a woman with a mission, you never wanted to be in the direct path. "Bugger off, Malfoy. You're a spineless, gutless, heartless, cowardly mountain troll, and the last thing that she needs right now."

Note to self: do not ever piss of Ginevra Molly Weasley. 

It was difficult to make out for sure with your tear stained eyes, but Draco looked hurt. You heard his voice crack as he uttered out a small, "Please."

Ginny was many things. Loyal, dedicated, fierce, and determined were a few that always came to mind first. Being the youngest of seven siblings, the other six all being boys, the last thing Ginny was was a doormat.

Maybe it was the convictions you voiced earlier in the study hall, or the fact that Ginny, like yourself, looked for the good in others. Perhaps it was the fact that Draco's voice oozed with urgency, and he made no attempts to fire back at Ginny's insult. Whatever the reason, she let him pass.

Dean stood up rather abruptly and got into Draco's face.

"Malfoy I swear to god if you-"

"Stop, please," you managed to spit out between sobs.

Dean looked down at you puzzled. All you could do was mutter out another "please." His expression remained baffled, but he stepped aside and granted your request. He moved to stand over with Ginny, and they both watched on, ready to pounce at anything they didn't like. It seemed your friends would learn more than one secret today.

"Dra-co," you hiccuped out.

"Sh, sh. It's okay," he cooed. One hand held yours tightly while the other brushed away hair that clung to your forehead from sweat.

The last thing you heard before passing out from the unequivocal misery of the day was Draco whispering, "I'm here. I'm not leaving."


	9. Except the Unexpected

You were released from the hospital wing the next day. You contemplated whether or not you wanted to go to classes. Nothing spoke to you more than hiding under your blankets all day and doing absolutely fuck all.

You thought about what people would say. Surely, some would be sympathetic if you cowered in your room. But certainly, you also knew there would be people ready to feast on your vulnerability and weakness.

You came to Hogwarts to become someone. Someone who was more than who she was before.

You came to Hogwarts to forget your past, but you also came to make your parents proud. One shoe at a time, that's what you planned to do.

After putting yourself together as much as you could, you gathered your books and other necessary supplies and headed to your first class.

Nothing particularly memorable happened, though you did tune out most of your surroundings. Your focus was like a laser on your professors and lessons. Like before, time seemed meaningless. 

When you finally trudged into Transfiguration, Professor McGonagall pulled you to the side.

"My dear, you'll be skipping out on my class this morning," she explained.

Not having the energy to muster much out, you simply muttered a small, "What?"

McGonagall placed a comforting hand on your shoulder before going on. "Professor Dumbledore has requested you in his office. Don't worry about missing class. I won't take off any marks. Besides, you are doing rather splendidly. I'm not the least bit worried about your grades."

All you could do was nod your head yes. She leaned down to whisper the password to Dumbledore's office. She then squeezed your shoulder and passed off one last reassurance. "My heart is with you."

You gave her a small half-smile before departing.

You knew Dumbledore's office was on the third floor. The entrance was guarded by a giant, bronze statue of the most hideous looking gargoyle. Just looking at it made you feel uneasy, so you quickly supplied the password as to not look at it any longer.

"Cockroach clusters," you said with clarity.

The statue slid off to the left and, doing so, revealed nothing. There was just a rounded wall with no entrances. Trying to get a closer look, you stepped past where the statue was just a moment ago. In doing so, the floor started to rumble gently beneath you. Then, the once solid ground began to move upward in a spiral fashion. More and more steps of the stairs were revealed as you realized it was a magical, winding staircase.

You rode up what was roughly a flight of stairs before entering the lively room that was the Headmaster's office.

Portraits of previous Headmasters and Headmistresses hung on almost every inch of wall. The room itself was circular and grand. Books were strewn about on bookshelves and tables. One of the shelves held the sorting hat. There were dozens of silver and gold instruments and unknown items that were buzzing and steaming. You were trying to take in the wonder of it all when Dumbledore's voice interrupted.

"Ah, hello. I'm so glad you came."

Puzzled, you said, "I thought I had to come?"

Dumbledore chuckled heartily. "While it is true that I did request you come by my office, you're at liberty to do what you want. I can't make you do anything." Seeing no reaction from you, he gestured towards a chair in front of his desk. "Please, sit."

As you did so, you sunk in immediately. This chair was the most comfortable chair you had ever sat on. Dumbledore had good taste.

"Tea?" he asked.

The thought of a hot cup of tea filled you with delight. "Yes, please," you answered.

Dumbledore gave a small flick of his hand, and behind him you could see a kettle being magically placed on a small burner. Two mugs were pulled from a cabinet nearby, and tea bags were placed in them.

Magic is awesome.

As the silence grew more awkward, Dumbledore grabbed a bowl on his desk and pushed it towards you. "Sherbet lemon?" he offered?

"No, thank you."

Finally, Dumbledore started on with his true intentions.

"I called you in here to give you my sincerest condolences. Losing your parents like that, it's not easy, I know." His voice was always so whimsical and calming. Looking deep into his eyes, you knew that he was being earnest.

The magically poured tea floated over your way, and you grabbed the cup quickly. Your fingers wrapped around the warmth of the ceramic, and you hoped for some sensation to fight off the full body numbness you were feeling.

As you were absentmindedly staring into the still liquid in your cup, Dumbledore said your name faintly. You looked up to see a face full of concern.

"Yes?" you asked.

Dumbledore drew in a short breath. "I can tell you don't want to be here, so I won't keep you any longer." Feeling guilty, you tried to snap out of your day dream. Though, day nightmare seemed more fitting.

"I'm sorry, sir. I'm just having trouble focusing. It's not you at all."

"I can see that this is troubling you greatly. Do you mind if I share a story with you? One I've never told anyone?"

Feeling remarkably honored, you gave your permission.

"Where to start...Let's see. I was just shy of turning 18. I won't go into all the details, but I sought power and a life that was dark. In pursuit of that power, I met a young wizard. We became extremely close. He had the same world views and ideas I did, but for different reasons. My reasoning had everything to do with my sister, whom I neglected in my pursuit. My brother argued with me about how heinous it was to leave her for our 'dreams.'" 

At this point, Dumbledore sighed and slouched back into his chair.

"My friend, well, he used the Cruciatus Curse on my brother. We all became quite enraged. A fight broke out between the three of us. My dear sister was caught in the crossfire. She was trying to stop us."

Dumbledore always came off as strong, wise, and fearless. You watched as the old man crumpled a little inside.

"Professor, you don't have to tell me this story if you don't want to."

He lifted up his hand in protest. "No, no. I need to do this. I've been avoiding it for far too long. And that is no way to honor my Ariana's memory. No one knows whose wand shot the fatal curse."

The density of his story gripped every particle of the air around you. When he continued, you realized that he knew, more than anyone, how you were feeling.

"I struggled for many years, decades even. Always wondering if it was me who killed her. For a long time, I blamed myself. The truth is, none of us ever knew for certain. But if I just hadn't become greedy and lustful for absolute power, Ariana might still be here. Even if it wasn't me who cast the lethal spell, I have always blamed myself. After some time, I realized that Ariana wouldn't want that. She was always kind and compassionate, even in her fragile state of being. Ariana would have forgiven me. So, I chose to forgive myself."

Blinking back tears, you felt humbled that Dumbledore shared that moment of honesty and sheer exposure with you.

"Do you understand what I'm trying to tell you?" he asked.

Unable to meet his eyes, you replied, "That I have to forgive myself."

In your peripheral, you could see Dumbledore nodding. 

Exasperation pooled in your head, and in the moment, your outburst seemed justified. "And how do you propose I do that? Huh? I can't eat. I can't sleep. I can't bother to want to go to any of my classes. I never want to look any of my friends in the face again! I'm a disgrace, an embarrassment, and a fucking coward."

Your voice broke at the end and tears took control of your narrative. You hadn't realized that at some point in your speech, you stood up. Defeated and weak, you sat back down and threw your head into your hands.

A long time passed in silence. Dumbledore let you cry out as much as you needed. When you finally grew back together, he started to speak again.

"My dear, courage, tenacity, and resilience do not engulf you overnight. They smolder, day after day until the flames grow bigger. Some days, the flame might douse down. But that never means the remains can't be reignited. The sorting hat is never wrong. You have it in you. Even if you are blind to it."

With all the energy you could assemble, you nodded and thanked him. Thanked him for being vulnerable and allowing you to be vulnerable as well.

"I suppose I should head back to classes."

"You could, but if you ever need a judgment free space, I am just one cockroach cluster away." He winked and smiled as he said this. You were grateful to have a safe corner of the castle.

You took one last gulp of your tea, gathered your belongings, and headed out of the office. Glancing at your watch, you saw that you could make it in time for your Potions class. You meandered down to the dungeons, but nothing could prepare you for what you would encounter on your way there.

The corridors were all empty and noiseless, except for the pounding of two pairs of feet. The sound was coming from a hall off to the left. You lurked quietly and peered around the corner. Your head quickly snapped back when you saw it was Draco and Professor Snape. From the quick glimpse you were able to get, they both looked riled and secretive.

You had planned to turn around and give them privacy until you heard Snape spit out your name disgustingly. 

"You can't actually be serious, Draco. She's nothing but trouble. A distraction."

"She's the only one who seems to care about me around here."

"Oh, I'm sorry. I was under the impression you never cared about feelings, Mr. Malfoy. Not with half the school hating you and the other half fearing you."

"I never-I didn't know any better. I don't want to be that person."

"Wake up, Draco!" Snape hissed. "You don't have the luxury of pining over some pretentious little mudblood."

"That's rich coming from you."

"Shut. Your. Mouth. Before I sew it shut."

"Wanker."

Snape's voice dropped to an even lower whisper, causing you to creep back in further. "Need I remind you of the consequences should you fail?"

"No. I got that pretty clear. Now, are we done? I have a class to get to."

"Heed my words, Mr. Malfoy. I don't want to go around cleaning up your mess."

Hearing Snape stomp off to the left, you decided to play it cool and round the corner in the other direction, pretending you just showed up. As you turned the corner, you feigned with all your might that you didn't know Draco was just on the other side of the corridor.

"Hey," hissed Draco in your direction. You turned around and acted surprised.

"Oh! Hi. Sorry. I just had a doozy of a meeting with Dumbledore. I was kind of on autopilot there." It was a half truth. It still made your stomach turn to rot when you lied, but you knew that having heard their conversation would hold dire repercussions if they knew. 

Draco's eyes looked you up and down as if trying to fish out any deceit. To try and throw him off your scent, you smiled and asked, "Walk with me to Potions?"

Draco's face shifted into a grim look. His exchange with Snape seemed to have rocked him. He kept looking at the floor in deep thought.

"Or ditch Potions with me? I've already missed one class. Plus I'm acing Potions. I can take a day off," you offered.

"You, ditching more classes? Honestly, I'm shocked at you, Miss Studious," teased Draco. He pondered on your offer for moment. "I could use some relaxation. And you never did get to meet me at our new secret spot." 

Jabbing a finger at his chest triumphantly, you proclaimed, "AH-HA!! I knew that note was a sneaky clue."

Draco grabbed your finger and then laced his fingers between yours gingerly.

"Ah, a Gryffindor who's not as dimwitted as the rest," joked Draco.

The backhanded compliment stung a bit, especially because you cherished your friends and all their qualities. "Hey, be nice," you chided.

"You're right. I'm sorry. Old habits can be hard to break. That Weasley girl is actually quite impressive. She's blown my socks off more than once. She can be right scary. In a good way."

You squinted your eyes at Draco in annoyance. "First of all, she has a name. She almost pulverized you yesterday, and she didn't. After everything you've done to her too."

Draco's head hung in shame. "No, no you're right. I guess I keep using scare tactics and insults because I worry no one would ever forgive me."

You cupped Draco's face with your free hand to bring his eyes up to yours. "Listen to me. I can't forgive you for things you've done to others. Only they can do that." 

You remembered Dumbledore's words to you earlier, and you heeded them. "But courage, tenacity, and resilience do not develop overnight. Take it a day at a time. I'll be by your side the whole way."

"What if no one forgives me?" he stammered.

"Then no one forgives you. All you can do is the best you can. Acknowledge your faults and try to make up for them. If no one accepts that, it doesn't have to stop you from pushing forward on the path you're carving."

Draco nodded subtly and said, "Alright then. One day at a time." You ran your thumb over his hand in reassurance, and Draco moved in for a long and fathomless kiss. 

The two of you hastily separated when you heard chatter drifting down the halls. Classes were transitioning.

"I guess it's too late to skip now," chuckled Draco. "No matter, we can't all have perfect grades like you anyhow." His face wrinkled up, and he smiled as he swiped your nose softly with his finger.

You rolled your eyes and let out a playful huff. Together you made your way to Slughorn's classroom. Professor Slughorn was standing outside the door and greeting students as they arrived. 

"Good afternoon, you two. Fancy seeing you two together. Wouldn't have guessed it," said Slughorn.

"Oh, no. Um, we're just friends," you spewed out frantically. Truthfully, you weren't sure what you were. Draco was getting a kick out of your panic. He tried to suppress his laughter with coughs.

"Even as friends, it is quite odd to see you two side by side. And you might have noticed, I never made any mention of anything romantic," quipped Slughorn.

"Right, I'm going inside," laughed Draco as he entered.

Embarrassed enough at your awkward encounter, you followed with, "Yep, me too."

Before you could enter, Slughorn raised a hand in objection. "One more moment of your time dear, if I may," interjected Slughorn.

"You may," you shrugged.

"I have been extremely impressed with your marks in my class. You have an aptitude for Potions and are quite well-learned. By far one of my greatest students, if not the greatest this year."

"Thank you, I-" You stopped yourself before letting something slip that you would regret. "I just want to be good at Potions."

"Right, well you are on the right path then. All that being said, I want to offer you membership to the Slug Club."

"The...Slug Club?" you asked reluctantly.

"Yes, yes. It's comprised of my most favorite students. You've shown such great promise. This club allows you to interact with other great minds. We can all exchange great information, stories, and such. We'll all grow to new heights while making new friendships." Slughorn's lopsided smile was bigger than you had ever seen it. You could tell it meant a lot to him.

"Okay, I'm in," you declared.

"Excellent! I look forward to having you. I'll be in touch with information on our next meeting. But I wanted to ask you to be a member sooner rather than later because I'm throwing my famous Christmas party in a few weeks."

Your face scrunched up in confusion. "Christmas isn't until December. Halloween is in like two weeks."

"Yes, yes I know. But with the Yule ball being held just after Christmas break, I thought it better to hold the party earlier. Your good friend Ginny is in the club, so I'm sure she'll be at the party. You can bring a date too. Whoever you like. No judgment." Slughorn smiled a sly smile before heading inside.

You grinned to yourself, envisioning yourself dancing with Draco under twinkling lights. Maybe you were allowed happiness.


	10. Sweet Bitterness

Potions dragged on annoyingly. 

Your thoughts circled like vultures between plucking up the courage to ask Draco to the party and envisioning yourself in your secret hideout.

You hardly noticed when Slughorn dismissed the class. It wasn't until you heard the packing of items and shuffling of feet that you realized class was over. Half the class had already scurried out, but among the few stragglers, you noticed Draco moving particularly slow.

You smiled to yourself as you finished packing up your things.

Draco slowly crept up to you once the rest of the students left.

"So, about that room," said Draco impatiently.

Chuckling to yourself, you replied, "Hold your horses. I still have two classes."

"What, Care of Magical Creatures and Herbology? You'll be fine."

"I really like Hagrid's class, and need I remind you that I can't fall further behind in Herbology?"

The two of you finally started your way out of the room, and you waved a quick goodbye to Professor Slughorn. Contemplating your options, you came to a decision. "Okay, I'll skip classes and go with you on TWO conditions."

Draco grinned like he had already won. "Name your price."

"One, you have to go to Slughorn's not-Christmas Christmas party with me in a couple of weeks. Two, you can't ask me to ditch classes at any point for any reason for the rest of term. Give me a chance to not royally fuck up my professors' trust."

Draco moved from your side to stand in front of you. "Deal. But first you have to tell me what this 'not-Christmas Christmas party' is."

"I will...after you tell me how we get to the Room of Requirement without being stopped by Prefects or Professors."

Draco scanned the corridor, and you followed suit. There were only a few students lingering. Most had probably already made it to their next class.

"There's one perk I have to being Prefect. If anyone catches us, I'll pretend I've just busted you for something and that I'm taking you back to your common room. The Gryffindor house and the Room of Requirement are on the same floor. "

"I love a good plan." All settled, you and Draco cautiously roamed the halls until you reached the grand staircase. There were no patrols around, and you easily made your way up to the seventh floor.

"So this party..." Draco began to inquire.

"Right. Slughorn asked me to be in his club. He calls it 'The Slug Club.' I guess it's all his favorite and brightest students coming together to meet and hang out. He said he throws a Christmas party every year, but he's doing it just after Halloween since the Yule ball is after Christmas break." 

You paused for a moment in wonder. If Draco planned on going to Slughorn's party with you, would he go to the Yule Ball? You thought of the other prospects that your friends told you about. Some of them seemed really nice, but you didn't really know them, and none of them had even asked you yet.

"So, anyways," you continued, "he said we can bring dates. Anyone. They don't have to be in the club." The word "date" brought crimson skies to your cheeks.

Draco hung his head towards the floor, and smiled slightly. "And you want to go with me? Of all people of Hogwarts. Honestly, you could do better."

You shoved a playful arm into his, and he staggered to the side dramatically. "Shut up. You'd be a great date."

"I know. And I can dance."

"Dance off?" you teased.

"Hoo hoo hoo. Does my little babe have a competitive side?"

Babe. You took a staggering breath in. But what did it mean to him? Was it just a word? Or was it truly a term of endearment?

"Maybe a bit," you taunted while biting the corner of your lip.

Just like that, the two of you were there. On the outside, it was quite literally just an enormous stone wall. No indications whatsoever that there were any doors or hidden rooms. It was quite astonishing.

You looked at Draco expectantly. This was all his idea, so you figured he should do the honors. Ensure that you ended up in the right room. 

As if reading your mind, he looked down at you and nodded. Facing forward, he closed his eyes and concentrated. 

In just a moment's time, the wall began to change. A small pair of double wooden doors started to appear. They were dark walnut, no taller than ordinary doors, and they were unassuming. No fancy embellishments or decoration. The doorknobs were oval in shape--silver and small.

Draco promptly stepped up to the doors, twisted one of the knobs, and said, "After you."

Playing up to the suspense, you dipped into a low curtsey and thanked him before stepping inside.

Nothing could prepare you for the beauty that lied within.

Draco walked up beside you and placed a gentle arm around your waist and clenched your hip. "What do you think?"

You were too stunned to speak. It was a perfectly square room with lilac walls and gold crown and base molding. To the left against the wall was a king size bed in a four poster base, much like the ones in the dormitories. It was decorated with tons of black pillows, black silky sheets, and a dark purple duvet. Two bedside tables were on either side of the bed.

Directly across from the bed was a small fireplace. It was made out of dark grey, oval shaped stones and a light grey filling in between. It was currently lit and crackling. The warmth radiated all the way to your position.

Against the wall straight in front of you was a very large, cream colored, claw-footed bathtub. About a dozen floating candles hung in the air giving a soft amber glow to the room.

Draco was now grinning from ear to ear. "There's more," he said excitedly. 

Draco whipped out his wand and sauntered over to the bed. "Orchideous," he chanted. A dark pink light seeped out of his wand, and a bundle of vines, leaves, and sky blue Crysanthemums began to form and wrap around the posts of the bed.

Your eyes gleamed at the beautiful magic he produced. It was soft, kind, and thoughtful.

When he finished, he looked over at you, almost as if seeking approval.

"Draco, I'm at a loss for words. It's perfect." And it was perfect. Quaint, cozy, and secluded. But most of all, it was yours and his in perfect secrecy.

Draco's head dropped down as he hid a small smile and shoved his hands in his pockets. He did that a lot, you realized. Tried to hide his face and his emotions. Not wanting to ruin the moment, you decided to store that piece of knowledge deep in your brain. You just wanted to live right now with nothing to ruin the peace.

Draco took a few slow steps towards you, leaned down into your right ear, and whispered, "You're perfect."

Butterflies twirled around your insides and migrated together into your chest. The soft flapping of their wings quickly turned into razor blades that tore you apart from the inside out. You took a page from Draco's playbook and lowered your head in hiding.

As if second nature, he unsheathed his hand from his pocket and cupped your face. He brought your head up to look at him. He seemed to be searching for some answers. "Talk to me."

You exhaled shakily. You still hadn't told Draco about your parents. All he knew was that something big happened to land you in the hospital wing. As if reading your mind, he continued on. 

"Does it have to do with whatever sent you to the hospital wing? You've been different since you got out. Talk to me."

A small part of you still wasn't sure about Draco. You wanted to trust him. While he had opened to you some and stopped running away, he was still secretive and enigmatic. How could you justify giving all of you if he wouldn't give you all of him? A longing pooled thicker in his eyes. 

You weren't quite ready to take the leap. 

You scraped up what you could offer. "I just don't feel like I deserve this, Draco. I don't." Your gut twisted and bunched together in pain.

"That's rubbish, and you know it. Look at me. I used to think that no one would ever care about me dead or alive. That I would never be truly seen. And you came in and changed all of that. It's terrifying as hell, and some days I'm still not sure about it. But you proved to me that I'm worthy of change and forgiveness. I don't know what happened to you. But you are worthy of change and forgiveness."

At this point, Draco was grasping both sides of your face in his hands. There was a ferocity but a tenderness to it.

"Okay," you whispered.

Still holding your face, Draco planted a delicate kiss on your forehead before wrapping both arms around you in an embrace.

"Let's take your mind off it, yeah?" said Draco as he led you over to the bed.

You sat on the edge and fell backwards onto the cushiony mattress.

"Okay, Miss Grumbles. You can't just pout," teased Draco.

Without moving your head, you flicked your eyes over in Draco's direction. 

"That's funny coming from you," you retorted with a giggle.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"You ALWAYS have a frown on your face."

"Not when I'm with you."

You rolled your eyes. "Smooth talker."

"Don't roll your eyes at me."

A smile crept up on your face. "Or what?"

Draco's eyebrows raised in disbelief. His jaw unclenched a bit, leaving his mouth agape. "Are you trying to banter with me right now?"

"What if I am?" Methodically, you gave a piercing stare into his eyes while slowly licking your lips. Tension bubbled thick and hot around you.

In an instant, Draco rolled and swung his leg over you, straddling you. He brought his face close to yours and whispered, "I don't think you want to do that."

"Why's that?" Your smile grew wider as more parts of you started to prickle. You wanted to test the limits the two of you set the last time you were alone.

A loud exhale left Draco's mouth. His tongue ran over his top row of teeth, and he shook his head slightly. You fantasized about the thoughts running through his head.

You decided to take it a step further. "Awh, is poor baby frustrated?"

The absolute moment you finished your sentence, Draco grabbed your wrists and pinned them above your head. "Oh, I can show you frustrated." With his free hand, he pulled his wand back out from his pocket. He placed the tip of it at your temple and lightly moved it down to your chin. With his wand, he moved your chin so your sight was locked onto him. 

"Obscuro," he chanted firmly.

Your vision went black immediately. You felt a cool and soft fabric over your eyes. 

Fascinated by the magic he just produced, you asked, "What is this?"

"A conjuration spell. It blindfolds you."

"Obviously." The darkness was like a prickling electric cloud around you, threatening to shock and light up every inch of your body.

"Don't get smart with me." You could hear the thrill in his voice. He was enjoying this. 

"Make me."

You felt Draco move from on top of you. "Sit up," he commanded.

You did as you were told. For now.

"Lay face down across my lap."

Even though his voice was still demanding, he situated his arm on your back to help guide you. When you were adjusted, his left hand reached over and firmly gripped your ass cheek before slamming his hand down.

Not wanting to give him the satisfaction of your pleasure, you amped up your taunts.

"Is that the best you got?"

With his free hand, he grabbed a fistful of your hair and pulled your head up slightly. "We're just getting started, darling."

Releasing your hair, he went for the hem of your skirt and lifted it to expose you. He ripped your now half soaked panties down and off. The soft heat from the fireplace spread like honey over your bottom.

The warmth didn't last long as Draco deliberately dragged his wand across both cheeks. A harsh crack rang through the air as he thwacked the wand on your ass. Your body rocked upwards from the pain. Your hands balled up around the sheets to brace yourself for the next blow.

Another stinging hit landed on your other cheek. A suppressed moan departed from your throat and into the bed.

"If I didn't know any better, I'd say you were enjoying your punishment."

"Maybe you should try harder." You knew you shouldn't have goaded him on, but the complete control he had over you stimulated parts of you mind and body that you never knew could light up.

Draco dished out two more back to back hits. Your pelvis instinctively pushed hard into his thigh. He put his wand to the side and began to rub his hand soothingly over both cheeks. His hands were a bit cold. It was the perfect thing to assuage the burning sensation.

His hands thoughtfully moved and spread your legs apart. You were aching for him to touch you. But it wasn't just his physical touch you craved. You wanted him to take you fully, slowly, fast, and rough. You wanted him to take you any way that you could get. You had hoped, for just a little while, you could forget all of the harrowing and insidious grief that was scorching inside of you.

Two fingers glided over the wetness that was dripping out of you now. While you couldn't see it, you heard him take those same two fingers and put them in his mouth. He sucked long and hard. He made sure you could hear every moment of it.

"I bet you're dying for me to taste some more."

Truthfully, you were, and it was becoming increasingly fatiguing to pretend otherwise.

"Yes, please," you begged.

Playing back on the words you threw at him earlier, he quipped with, "Is that the best you got?" At this point, you could feel his cock throbbing against your belly.

Feeling audacious, you found a plea you thought would slash right through him. "Please, daddy."

His breath shuddered, and he let out a low moan. "Daddy, huh?" He stewed in that for a moment. "Well daddy will give you whatever you want. As long as you're a good princess."

"Anything for you."

Draco tapped you on the shoulder for your attention and helped to hoist you off his lap and back onto the bed. This time, your head sunk into one of the fluffy pillows, and you felt totally and utterly relaxed, even amidst all the excitement. 

You were still blindfolded from the Obscuro charm. 

You felt Draco move on top of you, and you opened your legs wide enough for him to nestle his body in between. His face leaned in mere particles away from yours. You craned your neck up to kiss him, but just as your lips faintly brushed onto his, he moved away.

"I'm still not convinced you've been good enough."

Your back arched and your hips drove up into his. A paltry grumble left your mouth.

You felt Draco's head dip down and his lips near your ear. "See, you're so impatient. "

His voice liquified your core, and you were drowning in a puddle of longing. Explosions of desire pricked in the depths of your stomach and your clitoris. The sensation swam fast laps back and forth between the two.

You bit down hard on your lip. You wanted to stifle any restlessness that was digging its way up from your throat. You wanted to be the good girl Draco asked you to be.

Your mind couldn't fight the matter any longer, and the restraints you had on your eagerness were relinquished. 

"Draco, please," you huffed out.

"How's it feel to beg like a little slut?"

"Please. I'll be a good girl. I won't smart mouth you. I just want you, all of you, only you."

Draco let out a few short chuckles. You felt his head dip down and plant a long and winding garden of kisses from your collarbone to your navel. Slower and slower with each until he finally started to make his way to your throbbing clit. When his lips were a hair of a distance away, your hips buckled upwards to close the gap. To your dismay, his mouth had moved.

You let out a frustrated breath. "Daddy," you emphasized. "Please. Make me forget."

There was a pause. Then Draco granted your request. His tongue dipped into your sticky arousal and moved it up to embrace the entire surface of your yearning.

His entire mouth closed around it like a sealed dome. Nothing else to go in except pleasure. He shattered that enclosure immediately and moved his mouth back down to your opening, which was now expanding even more in anticipation. His tongue slid in between the curves of your outer lips like an icy, winding road. Your clit was frantic for attention. Pulsing quicker and quicker, sending brazen embers that grew hotter and higher.

Draco continued to only regard every single area other than your clit. You knew he was doing it on purpose. His words repeated in your head, "Oh, I can show you frustrated." That he could.

You felt a singular digit gently swipe over the entrance of your cunt. Like twins in sync, his finger followed suit of his tongue in only teasing you just enough to drive you mad.

He made several short attempts at going full force, but it was like giving drops of water to a man who'd spent days in the desert. It was never going to be enough to quench your thirst. You needed the full jug.

Wanting to take control, you ensnared clumps of his hair on the sides of his head and pulled his head further in.

But he was stronger than you and broke your grip on him. "One second, pet."

A moment passed, and your mind was buzzing. "Finite," recited Draco. Immediately, the blindfold was off of you. You looked down at Draco with questions burning through your mind.

"I want you to look at me when you cum."

That phrase alone tossed your head back deeper into the pillow and your back further into the air.

When Draco repositioned himself between you, you coiled your legs around his back. One hand returned to the side of his head, tugging at both his hair and ear. The other hand dug trenches into the bedsheets in anticipation. 

Draco slid two fingers inside of you, curling them upwards. As he found his rhythm, his lips returned to your cunt. His movements insatiable, like he would never be satisfied. 

Your hips flung upwards and then around in circles and his tongue grew more feverish along your clit.

His mouth refused to move from its spot like an addict guzzling down liquor.

Your vision began to blur as satisfaction coursed through your veins. Your brain filled with storm clouds. It was dark, thunderous, and electric.

"Please. Don't stop," you begged.

He somehow pushed himself deeper into you, but you weren't questioning it. Ecstasy ruptured blazing lava all over his fingers, and you let out quaking moans. Your knuckles had turned white from grasping the bed. Beads of sweat formed along your hairline. Exhausted and elated, you sunk into the silky comfort beneath you.

Draco collapsed beside you and laid on his side to face you. "Come here," he whispered. He opened his arms, and you curled up into a ball and scooted into him.

"You don't want to keep going?" you implored.

"No, no. Right now is about you. I wanted to make you feel better."

Feeling contented, you nuzzled your head even closer to his chest.

"Besides," he continued. "We can stay in here all day."


	11. Taking Control

Draco's eyes twinkled with possibilities when he mentioned having the rest of the day here. Technically, he wasn't wrong. Only about an hour had passed since you left Potions, and no one had seen either of you. Who would really question it if you weren't around? Your friends, probably, but you knew you could find an excuse. 

Or just tell them the truth.

Ginny and Dean already knew that something was happening between you and Draco. They just didn't know exactly what.

This was one of your biggest weaknesses in the present. You kept everyone at arm's length to protect yourself. Draco with your parents, and your friends with Draco. 

You needed to start being more honest, but it made your skin turn to stone thinking about it.

"Are you okay?" Draco asked.

"Oh, yeah, I just kind of got lost in thought."

"All good, I hope?"

You sighed. It was exhausting to continuously weave and bend to protect your heart. But you couldn't stop thinking of the even heavier exhaustion that would come if you left it unguarded. 

"Of course," you lied. The chaos that was brewing in your mind was not good. Not wanting to let it paralyze you, you boosted yourself up a bit and propped your head up with your elbow as support.

You tapped your index finger against your cheekbone in thought.

"What's on your mind?" asked Draco.

"I just don't think it's fair."

He shot you a puzzled look. "What's not fair?"

You paused for a moment before going on. You wondered if it was worth trying, and if you would be faster than him.

Slyly, you reached behind you and under your pillow for your wand. Draco seemed none the wiser.

Your silence seemed to make Draco nervous. At this point, he was sitting upright and peering down at you.

"What's not fair?" he repeated. His tone grew worrisome. 

"I just don't think it's fair that you get to have all the fun."

"Wha-"

"Incarcerous!" You had quickly whipped your wand from behind, pointing it at his wrists. A small rope had bound and secured them together just as you had hoped.

A smile stretched widely across your face while Draco's hung in disbelief. 

"I didn't actually think that would work," you confessed with pride.

"What are you doing?" growled Draco. On the surface, he seemed annoyed, but deeper down, you could tell he was intrigued.

"I said, I just don't think it's fair that you get to have all the fun," you said again with more gusto.

"When I get out of these, you are going to get it."

"Aw, cute. When? Who said I'm letting you out? Especially not with that attitude," you taunted. 

Draco's eyes grew wild with excitement and lust. He licked his lips and took a sharp breath in. "You tricky little minx."

Without saying anything, you hopped off the bed and took off your vest and then your tie. You slowly started to unbutton your dress shirt, never breaking eye contact with Draco. You let it fall to the floor, and then you walked back over to the bed. You placed your hands on the edge of the bed and leaned forward, letting your breasts spill out of your bra a little.

"Enjoying the show?"

Draco scoffed to hide his lust. "What was it that you told me before? You're going to have to try harder than that."

He was trying his hardest not to break. Up until now, he was always the dominant one. It was always you that had to endure the teasing, the edging, and the complete handover of the reins. You wanted to see him squirm this time.

Still in the same position, you took your right hand behind your back and unsnapped your bra.

Using both hands now, you slid your bra down your arms and tossed it across the room. You stood back up for him to get the full effect.

You could see Draco's cock starting to bulge in his pants. It was working. 

You pulled your skirt down to your ankles and nudged it off to the side. Now, you were fully exposed. 

Draco took his hands up to the collar of his shirt and tugged on it. He was finally moving into the position you wanted him in. You wanted to up the ante. 

"Someone looks aroused. Does daddy want to stroke his cock right now?"

Averting your eyes, Draco mumbled, "Yes."

"Sorry, I didn't quite catch that. Could you speak up?"

Louder this time, but through gritted teeth, Draco repeated his answer.

"That's too bad. Because I think that I deserve to cum one more time before you do."

You took a step back to ensure he had full view of you. One hand grasped your breast, and you started to play with your nipple. Pinching, pulling, and rubbing in every direction. Your other hand slithered down your body until you reached your still wet pussy.

Draco's eyes watched every movement scrupulously. 

You slid your fingers over your cum and began to glide over your clit. Your pace was meticulous and slow, still quite sensitive from your orgasm. Your breath slowly began to quicken, and you made sure Draco heard every bit of it.

Draco let out an exasperated huff, and he began to clumsily unbutton his pants.

You stopped pleasuring yourself and climbed right back into bed. When you did, you grabbed his hands, pinned them above his head, and threw your leg over his waist to sit on top of him.

"What was it that you told me before? We're doing this on my time." You loved the way both of you toyed with each others words. Always remembering them and volleying them back.

Draco's tongue ran across his top row of teeth. Everything in you wanted to give in and give him control back. You loved the way you were so utterly and completely defenseless, but also so safe. Amidst all of his power, he always ensured your complete willingness, enthusiasm, and safety.

But today felt different. Maybe it was just you trying to let go of your unyielding pain, but you just wanted things to be something other than what they were.

You took one hand and finished unbuttoning his pants. You situated yourself between his legs as you pulled down his pants and briefs. As you did, his cock flung upwards. You eyed it with greed, but you weren't going to give him what he wanted yet.

You worked your way back up his body and started to unbutton his shirt. It wasn't going to be able to come completely off without releasing his wrists, and that was something you did not want to risk. You knew that Draco was cunning, and he was probably already inventing the thousand and one things he was going to do to you when this was all over. That thought alone made your pussy throb.

So, you left his shirt on but open.

In the moment, you realized that you didn't know of any of his weak spots. This seemed the perfect time to explore. 

You returned back to straddling him. First you started by kissing his neck, and then you trailed up to his ear. You nibbled on it softly, and a low grunt escaped his lips.

You smiled to yourself as you remembered the first time Draco's lips were this close to your ear. You moved your body back upright to look him in the eyes. As you did so, you drove your hips backwards, and his cock slid underneath your drenched folds.

Draco's head snapped back as he licked his lips.

"I bet you want to be deep, deep inside of me right now."

Draco held firm and said nothing.

"Rocking in and out of my warm, tight, soaked pussy. Pumping faster and harder while your hands dig into my hips."

Draco began to melt into a pool of carnality. The growls and moans that he produced were near animal like. He was squirming so much mentally and physically.

Taking your right hand, you reached behind you and grabbed the base of his dick. You lifted yourself up a bit, positioned yourself correctly, and slowly sat back down. You pushed down deep enough so that his full length engulfed you.

A desperate and low moan wriggled free from Draco's mouth. 

You kept toying with him. Each movement up and down was like molasses. You knew the very thing that he wanted was to tear into your pussy, and you wouldn't let him have it yet.

His longing turned urgent as he tried to thrust his hips upward and take back the control. When he did this, you promptly slid off completely. A defeated Draco let out a small whine.

"It doesn't feel so good to be edged on and then stopped, does it?" you asked.

Draco's chest raised and lowered with ferocity. He was holding onto the tiniest slivers of restraint.

"Tell me what you want, baby," you cooed.

As he was mustering up the words he wanted to speak, you dragged your fingernails down his chest and stomach. This caused his hips to launch upwards.

"Fuck me," he whispered.

"Once more."

Draco swallowed before tilting his head back.

"I said, fuck me." He finally looked you in the eyes. "I want you to fuck me. I want you to ride my cock like it's yours." His voice was gravelly and breathy.

You leaned down to be closer to his face. "That's because it is."

You repositioned yourself, and he slid back inside of you with ease. You thought you were slick before, but that was nothing compared to now. Using the strength and support of your knees, you bounced up and down with vigor. 

You angled yourself downwards and went in for a fervent kiss. As you did, you slowed down your pace. You wanted to drink in all of him. Your tongues slopped around inside and outside of your mouths. It was sloppy and greedy. Your craving to feel his hands all over you intensified, and you found yourself breaking free from it to grab your wand.

You pointed your wand at his hands and chanted, "Relashio."

The ropes dematerialized, and the passion in Draco's eyes deepened. You tossed your wand to the side, and Draco grabbed your face with urgency. He pulled you down into him like a siren plunging her victims. Between kisses, you both searched for any moment to come up for air. 

His hands crept around to the back of your head, and he snagged a fistful of hair. He tugged on it, and the force caused your head to pull back.

Using mainly his legs, Draco rolled the both of you over until you were in opposite positions.

Draco immediately took his cock and rammed it into you. The initial pressure released a moan from you.

Before continuing, Draco had one more thing to say.

"Not bad, darling. But let me show you how it's done."

You hadn't even had a chance to process what he just told you before his hand was at your throat. His thumb and other four fingers pressed into the sides of your neck. With his free hand, he took your leg and lifted it to rest against his shoulder. He leaned closer to you, really stretching that leg backwards and pushing deeper into you.

A rush was swarming to your head, and it was like the wind was knocked out of you. But the rising tension between your legs balanced it out. There were so many sensations flowing through your body, but it all culminated at your pussy.

Your face began to grow warm. You were at a loss for words at these new found sensations. Everything felt intensified. Just when you thought it couldn't get any better, Draco took his free thumb and began to stroke your clit.

Rapid and repeated moans melded together, and this time, you were the one making near animal noises.

Draco's momentum grew faster, and his pressure on your neck grew harder. Your entire body felt simultaneously heavier than stone and light as a dove. 

"I'm going to cum, baby," Draco grunted.

"Cum for me," you said breathlessly. Ecstasy ripped through you and coiled around your flesh.

Draco pumped harder into you, and you felt him unload and soften his grip around your throat.

He stayed inside of you momentarily, and he wrapped his arms around the leg still braced against his shoulder. While trying to catch his breath, he dotted your calf with a few delicate kisses.

When he pulled out, he sunk into the bed next to you. You were still riding the exhilarating high that was just produced. You had never been that domineering before. To be honest, you really enjoyed the chance to watch Draco squirm. It seems he enjoyed it too.

"So, where the bloody hell did all that energy come from? Never would have guessed that side of you."

You shrugged your shoulders. "I don't know. I just wanted to try something new, and I went with my gut."

"Mmm," was all Draco managed to produce.

Anxiety pounded at your chest.

"I'm sorry, I ruined it, didn't I? You didn't like it..."

"No, no. Not at all. I loved it."

"I'm glad you liked it."

"You're a cheeky little bugger. Can't believe you pulled a fast one on me."

"I was quite proud of that actually."

Draco started to chuckle, and you let out a heap of giggles. When the laughter subsided, you both looked at each other deeply.

"Feeling any better?" inquired Draco sincerely.

Truthfully, you were. But that didn't stop the dam from breaking and all your heartache flooding your mind. You knew, however, that you just had to take it a day at a time.

"Yes," you answered honestly.

"Good," whispered Draco as he leaned in and kissed your forehead.

"You make me feel safe, Draco," you confessed.

Conflict waged war across Draco's face. Something tumultuous was stewing in his brain, and you worried he was considering abandoning you again. 

An eternity of silence seemed to pass, and all Draco muttered was, "Come here," as he opened his arms for you to snuggle into.

His silence and reluctance to address your statement incapacitated you.


	12. Wrong to Right and Back Again

One and a half weeks had passed since your rendezvous with Draco in the Room of Requirement. The unshakable dread still haunted every part of you. Draco never acknowledged your statement, but you thought it best to leave it alone. You didn't want to come off clingy.

Truthfully, you hadn't seen much of each other except for classes. Draco was true to his word on letting you focus on your studies, and he seemed to always be preoccupied with some task.

On a chilly afternoon after your last class, you decided to sit out in the courtyard and write some poetry. It was an overcast day, perfect for reflecting your overcast heart. You whipped out your brown leather journal and began to write.

_Thoughts clutter my brain and the cracks of my skull._

_They're tangled and messy, but all tethered to every tantalizing motion you make._

_You slither so easily into my head and my bed._

_The strings all tangle trying to understand how to make you stay in my heart._

The words flowed onto your page easily when you channeled your emotions to a singular point: Draco.

The courtyard was mainly empty, and you were happy to have a little respite. However, it didn't last long. The thudding footsteps of Crabbe and Goyle echoed along with Pansy's shrill laughter. You inhaled frustratingly, but kept your head down and in your journal.

It didn't work.

The trio made a bee-line for you. You were thankful though, that in passing weeks, Draco had spent much, much less time with them.

Crabbe reached down aggressively and tore the journal from your grip. "Aw, the little mudblood is crying in her journal. Let's see what she's whining about this time."

Having no time for the nonsense, you whipped out your wand and jabbed it at Crabbe's thick neck. "Give it back. Now," you demanded.

Crabbe and Goyle both scoffed.

"You do anything to me, you'll be expelled. No dueling on school grounds," trilled Crabbe.

"At least you'd stop being insufferable for five seconds."

Pansy unleashed her wand and pointed it at your face. "Not if I get the pleasure first," she said through gritted teeth.

You rolled your eyes. "Isn't it tiresome? Isn't it so god damn tiresome that your only personality trait is being a shrill, mean bitch?"

"That's it, mudblood!" shrieked Pansy.

"Expelliarmus!" you heard from behind you. Pansy's wand zipped out of her hand and flipped into the air past you and towards the unknown person.

But you did know who it was without looking. You would recognize his voice anywhere.

Draco.

When you turned around to see that you were right, Draco's wand was fixed on Crabbe next. "Give it back to her."

Goyle sneered at his former friend. "You've turned into such a prat, Draco. How will you have the guts to fulfill your duty?"

Duty? The word burned into your mind. What duty?

"Shut your mouth," growled Draco. "Give her the journal. Now."

With a click of his tongue, Crabbe reluctantly shoved the journal over, seeing that he was outnumbered.

The trio stamped off to the other side of the courtyard. No doubt they were plotting their revenge move.

"I didn't need your help," you spat.

"A thank you, would be nice," said Draco, wounded.

You were hurriedly shoving your things in your bag, and then you spun around to face him. "No. You don't get to do that. You don't get to start being hot and cold with me again and then show up like some damn knight in shining armor that I don't need."

"Ouch," said Draco as he dramatically clamped his hand over his heart.

You breezed past him and out of the courtyard, but Draco was fast. He twisted in place to follow you, and when you were inside, he grabbed your arm and pulled you along. He led you to an empty hall. Arms crossed, you looked at him with annoyance.

"What?"

"Let me take you to Hogsmeade tomorrow? Let's grab a tea at Madam Puddifoots?" pleaded Draco.

"You've basically ignored me for almost two weeks. Why should I?"

"Because, I promise it will be worth your while. "

Against all better judgment, you said yes.

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Two Days Later

You arose early Saturday morning to get ready for your Hogsmeade day with Draco. You threw on a warm pair of fleece leggings, a dark blue and white flannel skirt, a cream colored sweater, and black ankle booties.

You met Draco at the front of the castle on the grounds opposite of the greenhouses.

"You're a vision," flattered Draco. Draco was adorned with his usual affluent style. Black dress pants perfectly tailored, and black dress shoes. Underneath his black pea coat was a dark green, velvet suit jacket and a black button down.

He was dashing as always.

"Shall we?" he asked as he offered you his elbow. You looped your hand through it and squeezed his arm.

The walk to Hogsmeade was short. When you arrived, you had to check in with Professor Slughorn, who was at The Three Broomsticks enjoying a pint of Butterbeer. You noted how long you would be out, and he reminded you to check back within that time or before that.

Draco and you made your way to Madam Puddifoots, which was shockingly empty except for a few Hufflepuffs you recognized, and a handful of Ravenclaws you didn't.

Everyone was gawking at the pair of you. Draco Malfoy with a girl on his arm? No one ever thought they would see the day. You ignored their stares and grabbed a table while Draco ordered your teas.

When Draco returned with your piping hot cups, a scowl formed on your face. You were still annoyed with him.

"You're upset," he speculated.

"Yes."

"Why?"

You blew out a lengthy huff, but immediately apologized. You couldn't be too mad. He was making an effort to understand. But that still didn't excuse the week full of avoidances.

"I told you that you made me feel safe. Something that took a lot of vulnerability from me. Something I didn't think I would say to anyone, for a long time. And you just didn't respond. Then, ever since, you ignored me and acted all weird and secretive. Now you care about me being upset?"

You had barely breathed through your whole bit, and you were a little breathless when you finished.

"Breathe, love," Draco soothed. "I've fallen behind on school work as well. I needed to catch up. No distractions." His eyes fell down to his hands which were now lightly trembling around his cup. "I didn't say anything because I didn't know what to say. Everyone's usually afraid of me."

You mulled over his words. Perhaps you were being too harsh.

"Okay," you whispered.

"Okay," he repeated back to you. "Would you mind waiting here, just for a bit? I have something I need to pick up at another shop. A surprise."

"It better be good," you jested.

"Only the best for you," he said while brushing your jawline with the back of his hand. Draco stood up, kissed your knuckles, and walked out the door with haste.

The better part of two hours passed, and you sufficiently drank half your weight in tea. You went up to the counter to drop off a tip in the jar, and you walked outside of the tea shop. You had hoped you could see Draco in the distance.

He was no where to be seen, so you sulked back into the tea shop and sat back down. A few minutes later, Draco entered the shop with a white garment bag.

"Draco, what is that?"

"Open it," he prompted.

You got out of your seat, walked over to him, and unzipped the bag. Inside was as champagne colored dress with a metallic sheen. A deep v-neck plunge, long sleeves, and a semi hi-low bottom. It looked tight fitting, and absolutely stunning.

"Draco..." you breathed. "You didn't."

"I did. For Slughorn's party. I thought you'd look ravishing in it."

You threw your arms around his neck and pulled him in for a tight hug. His warm breath tickled your neck, and he whispered, "You're welcome."

"Thank you, Draco. I'm speechless," you said while pulling away.

"Ready to go back? I'm a bit drained."

"Yeah, of course."

You made your way back to The Three Broomsticks to let Professor Slughorn know that you would be leaving. Then, the two of you trudged back to the castle in contented silence.

As you left The Three Broomsticks, you noted that Katie Bell, a Gryffindor quidditch chaser, and her friend left momentarily after you. Her friend was arguing with Katie about something, but it was hard to make out, and you didn't want to eavesdrop.

You stole a quick glance behind you though, as the temptation overcame you. Katie was carrying some kind of indistinguishable package.

You heard a panicked yell come from Katie's friend that caused you to whip back around.

"Katie, no!"

Katie had opened whatever the package was and touched the contents inside. It immediately dropped out of her grasp, and Katie dropped down to the ground as well. Her body drug across the ground back and forth by an invisible force until she was shot up about ten feet into the air. Her limbs outstretched, and her hair flowed out around her. A blood-curdling scream from Katie haunted the air.

Then, just as quick as it started, Katie dropped back to the ground again with a hard thud.

You weren't far from castle grounds, and you saw Professor McGonagall came running across the empty field to reach the scene.

"What happened?" she asked frantically. "Nobody touch that," she ordered pointing at the object. Upon getting a closer look, it was an opal necklace.

"I warned her not to touch it," cried her friend.

"I'll get her to the hospital wing. You three, in my office," demanded McGonagall.

A stumbling Professor Slughorn shuffled up into the scene.

"Oh good, Professor, please get that thing wrapped up and bring it to my office. I believe it is a cursed item," ordered McGonagall fearfully. She ushered everyone along, and you knew better than to hesitate against her orders.

You made a quick pit stop to your common room to drop off your dress before heading back down to her office. You were the last to arrive, and you, Draco, and Katie's friend, whom you found to be named Leanne, stood in McGonagall's office for an indeterminate amount of time.

McGonagall swiftly entered the room, her dress robes tailing behind her in a swoop. Following close behind was Professor Snape with a sour look on his face. His gaze all but cut through Draco completely.

Draco was fidgeting with his hands.

"What do you think, Professor?" asked McGonagall in a hushed tone.

Snape levitated the necklace into the air and took a closer look. "I think Ms. Bell is lucky to be alive."

Nausea and horror bubbled up from your stomach to your throat. It had been a perfectly peaceful year at Hogwarts. Why now had something so horrible happened?

"Explain to me what happened," asked McGonagall.

Leanne started first. "We were in The Three Broomsticks. She went into the bathroom, and she came out with that package. Said it was urgent she deliver it now."

"To whom was she intending on delivering it to?" McGonagall's face fell.

"She said Professor Dumbledore." McGonagall suppressed a gasp as shock invaded her face.

"I think she was cursed or something!" Leanne shouted. "Katie would never hurt anyone, you know her. She was fine before she went into the bathroom, and then she got weird and robotic. It wasn't like her at all."

"Don't worry, Leanne. We'll investigate as much as we can," McGonagall assured. "Now, you two. What did you see?"

Draco opened his mouth to speak, but nothing came out.

"We were at Madam Puddifoots all afternoon. When we left, we went to The Three Broomsticks to check out with Professor Slughorn. Katie and Leanne followed us out not long after. We didn't see anything else," you cut in.

"Very well then, you may go," she dismissed.

Before McGonagall had even finished her sentence, Draco was racing out of the room. Something wasn't right about this situation. Why was Draco so rattled by this? And why was he gone for so many hours when he left you alone?

You didn't want to think the worst, but the worst was banging on the front door.

You trailed Draco hotly, calling his name down the corridors. He flashed a couple of quick glances over his shoulder, but each time he hastened his pace. You were almost jogging now to keep up with his long strides.

He ducked around every corner trying to lose you. He almost had, but you saw his back dip into a door way at the last second. You hustled down the corridor to see where he disappeared into.

The boys bathroom. Sneaky and clever. He knew you couldn't go in.

You stood outside of the bathroom door and listened for just a moment before speaking out.

"Draco!" you shouted. "What's wrong."

"Go away!" he barked.

"No," you held firmly.

Deep sobs reverberated in the air between you and him.

"Draco..." you pleaded.

"I said GO AWAY!"

His sobs heaved and convulsed. His breathing became uneven and ragged. He was completely coming apart, and you did what you felt was best.

You went inside. "I'm coming in!"

When you stepped inside, you found Draco on the ground. His knees hugged up to his chest, sobs decimating his entire being. His face was wet, and not just from the tears. The running faucet tipped you off that he probably tried to splash some water onto his face. His coat and suit jacket were crumpled on the ground next to him, and his button down was undone half way down. He held his head in his hands, his eyes wide and scared.

You knelt down onto the ground next to him and placed a comforting hand on one of his knees.

"I'm here," you soothed.

His situation worsened, and the need to help clawed at your sternum.

"Draco, I want you to try something. To help calm you down. Can you do that?"

He nodded slightly.

"Look around the room. Tell me five things you can see."

His eyes wearily scanned the area. "Doors to the stalls, the lights above us, your eyes, your hand on my knee, light coming in through the window," he listed weakly.

"Good. Tell me four things you can physically feel."

"The coolness of the floor, water on my face, my feet on the ground, a light draft coming in."

"Good. Keep breathing, okay? Tell me three things you can hear."

"Water running, water draining, your breathing."

"You're doing great. Tell me two things your can smell."

Draco took a large inhale in. "Your shampoo, cleaning supplies," he muttered.

"Okay, last one. One thing you can taste."

"Blood."

"Blood? Are you okay?"

"Bit my lip a little too hard back in McGonagall's office," he admitted.

"Take a deep breath in for me, and tell me how you feel."

Draco did as told. "Better now. How'd you know how to do that?"

"It's a grounding technique. I've used it a lot since my paren-" you cut yourself off and mentally slapped your hand to your forehead. You still hadn't told Draco, and now really wasn't the best time.

But he had definitely heard you. "What about your parents?"

"Nothing. Let's talk about it later, okay?"

You moved in closer, wrapped Draco into your arms, and waited in silence until his breathing returned to normal.

"I don't deserve you," he whispered.

"Stop that."

"You don't deserve the likes of me," he continued.

"Draco! Stop that."

You gazed into his eyes, a deep and furious ocean whose waters hadn't been calm for years. You so earnestly wished he could gaze upon the sun and all its warmth and glory. If only you could be his sun.

But still, the nagging feeling that something was so desperately wrong with this situation hit you hard.


	13. Slughorn's Not-Christmas Christmas Party

Dress, check. Heels, check. Hair, check. Makeup, check. Nerves, a mess.

You and Draco promised to meet at the bottom of the grand staircase outside of the Great Hall. When you descended the steps, you saw Draco pacing nervously and raking his fingers through his hair.

You didn't expect anything less for his formal wear. His entire suit, undershirt, and tie were all black.

When you were about a third of the way down, Draco spun around to look at you. His eyes went wide and soft. They scanned up and down continuously, his jaw slacked.

"Bloody hell," he whispered.

A smile cracked across your face. "Good look on the dress. I feel amazing."

"You look amazing."

Draco extended his hand, parallel to the ground. You daintily placed your hand on top of his as he helped you down the last couple of steps.

You made you way down the quieted corridors to Slughorn's office. The music and conversation spilled out into the hall as you approached.

The ceiling was draped with emerald, gold, and crimson hangings. It looked almost as if you were in a tent. Brilliant specks of light came off of tiny lanterns floating in the air, all of which held real fairies. House elves waded through a sea of knees while carrying silver platters of food.

Draco excused himself to grab you a glass of champagne. 

When he handed it off to you, you downed it in one gulp.

"Nervous?" he laughed.

"A little."

He took your glass and set it on a nearby table. "What's there to be nervous about?" 

You wouldn't tell him, but your mind was waging war inside. It was slowly turning into a pile of burnt ash and mush. You and Draco hadn't spoken about what happened in the bathroom since it happened. 

You didn't want to press.

You just wanted him to be happy.

Something deeply disturbed him that day, and in turn, it disturbed you.

"Care to dance?" he asked.

"Mind if I say hi to my friends first?" 

"Can I come with you?"

You raised an eyebrow at him. "You want to go talk to Ginny Weasley and Luna Lovegood with me?"

"I have to start somewhere, right? Your words."

"Okay then."

You pushed through the crowd to find your friends. It wasn't hard to do. Ginny's fire red hair matched her bright red dress. Luna was wearing a baby blue, frilly dress. They both looked so beautiful.

Ginny threw her arms around you immediately.

"Blimey, you look amazing! Where'd you get the dress?" she asked.

You pointed your thumb over at Draco, who was now sheepishly looking at the ground.

"Malfoy, dare I say you have good taste?" she asked.

"I just wanted her to feel as beautiful as she looks," he replied.

Luna's grin was wholesome and kind. "That was very nice of you, Draco. Anyone fancy a dance?"

You and Ginny grinned at the same time. "Thought you'd never ask," said Ginny. Ginny grabbed yours and Luna's hands, leading you to the center of the dance floor. Before she dragged you too far away, you snatched Draco's hand to pull him along with you.

It took an extra bit of your strength to convince him. 

An upbeat song thumped and echoed around you, Ginny and Luna linked hands, waving them about, and jumping up and down. You joined in, bopping your head back and forth. 

Draco stood by awkwardly. You nudge your elbow at him and give him a reassuring look. He starts to sway a little more and bob his head slightly, but his feet remain glued to the ground.

You leaned in to whisper to him. "You don't have to stay. Go have a drink. I'll get a dance out of you later." 

Draco planted a quick kiss on your cheek and departed.

Ginny and Luna huddled in closer.

"It was cute he tried," mentioned Ginny.

"I'm a little surprised. The two of you. But he seems really relaxed with you. Maybe this will be good for him," commented Luna.

You danced together for another few songs, and the two girls pulled you off to the side for a break.

"How have you been? It's been a while since I last saw you. Ginny told me...about the hospital wing," confessed Luna.

You smiled weakly. "I'm okay. A day at a time."

"Been spending a lot of your time with Malfoy then?" asked Ginny as she waggled her brows.

"A bit, not much though. It's kind of hard when we're focusing on classes. He's said some nice things about you, Ginny. He seems like he wants to make amends. He's just having trouble finding the right footing to do so."

"I'll believe it when I see it. But I won't write him off completely until then. I trust your judgment."

A slow song booted up, and Luna wandered off and asked Neville for a dance. Ginny nudged you in the ribs and pointed her gaze towards Draco. You smiled at your friend, and you made your way to Draco.

You pulled him into you and wrapped your arms around his neck while his wrapped around your lower back.

You swayed together in perfect harmony, the silence between you comforting you.

The entirety of the song passed, and he never dropped his gaze from you. You led with your gut, leaned in, and kissed him softly. He grabbed the side of your neck, holding you firm. The noise and lights of the party melted away, and time seemed to bend in on itself.

It wasn't until a few loud gasps erupted that you pulled away. At first, you thought everyone was making comments about you and Draco. When you turned around, you saw Filch holding Goyle by his collar.

"Caught this one trying to sneak in," he said to Slughorn.

Draco's face somehow went even paler.

"Just wanted to have a little chat with my friend," he sneered at Draco. "Did you remember what today was? Or are you too loved up with your precious mudblood to forget more important things?"

"That's enough Mr. Goyle!" thundered Slughorn. "Filch, if you'll please, escort this young man out. 50 points from Slytherin for your crudely insensitive tongue."

Slughorn came over to you both and apologized profusely. 

This was the second time one of Draco's friends mentioned something about a task or something more important. What did it all mean? 

Draco squeezed your hand reassuringly, said he would go off to a corner to collect himself, and suggested you hang out with Ginny and Luna again. Something poked at you. Something that told you to try and understand. But your soft heart for Draco Malfoy let it go.

You found Ginny and stayed close to her. Luna was still dancing with Neville.

"What was that all about?" asked Ginny about the commotion.

"I've no idea," you whispered.

"Is Malfoy alright? He looked really pale. And that's saying something."

"I don't know. He hasn't hung around Crabbe, Goyle, or Pansy in weeks. In fact, he's chosen me over them multiple times. Maybe he's feeling guilty? He did spend so many years being their friend. It's hard to just change who you are overnight."

"That's what worries me. I want to trust your judgment, but can you be certain that Draco is different? That he's really trying?"

"Yes," you said without hesitation. Which was strange, because hesitation was plucking at your heart strings.

"I trust you. But still, just be careful?"

"Of course."

You and Ginny continued to chat. Mainly about the party, how cute Luna and Neville were, how weird but endearing Slughorn was. Out of the corner of your eye, you saw Draco tugging at his collar as he tried to sneak out of the party. Where was he going, and why hadn't he said anything to you.

"Excuse me, Ginny. Let's catch up later, yeah?"

"Where are you going?" she asked as you bolted towards the doors.

Once out of the office, you took off your heels immediately. Not only would they be horrible to try and chase someone in, but you knew the clacking of the shoes would give you away.

You peered discreetly around the corner. You saw Draco moving briskly, taking a right, and looking all around him while he moved. He looked on edge.

You jogged down the hall to catch up, and you peered around the next corner all the same. You did this continuously until Draco stopped.

He was at the entrance of the Room of Requirement.

When he stepped into the doors, you snuck over quickly, stopping the door just before it closed. You held it for a moment, wanting to make sure there was a good bit of distance between yourself and Draco.

When you thought the coast was clear, you crept in and let the door shut silently.

It was the same room from before. The giant one you stumbled into when you first found Draco here. The one with junk and piles of clutter strewn about. What was so special about this room?

Following the path you remembered from before, you slunk through columns of items and found yourself several feet behind Draco. For someone who looked so paranoid about anyone in the corridors, he looked incredibly at ease now. Perhaps, he just assumed that he was in the clear.

Stood before him was that same towering, black cabinet he was at before. He opened it up, and from what you could tell, it was empty. Then, you heard the chirping of a little bird. Draco reached down, seemingly to grab it. And after a moment, the chirping ceased. Your hand flew to your mouth to stifle the gasp that was daring to escape. Did he just kill that bird?

He placed it back inside, closed the door, and waited a moment more. He opened it back again. You had no idea what was there.

Without turning around, Draco's voiced carried through the room. "Did no one ever tell you it was rude to spy?"

Air caught in your chest and combusted into flames. The heat spread through you, incinerating any happy feeling you were clinging on to.

"Draco-" you started. The aggressive turn on his heel to face you left you stone still.

"This is the second time you've followed me in here," he hissed. "It's like someone's itching to be caught and punished."

You weren't sure if you should have been scared or turned on. Draco was seething, anger pooling out of every opening.

He marched towards you, snatched your wrist, and dragged you back towards the doors. When you get outside, he stood for a minute, eyes closed. His grip on still tight. The doors change to those ever so familiar ones of your secret hideaway.

You looked up at him, wondering what was going through his head. He seemed so angry.

He shoved you inside the doors. You tossed your heels off to the side, unable to hold them any longer for the constant trembling.

"Draco-"

"Bad girls don't get to talk."

Draco took off his suit jacket and tie, tossing them with rage. You breathed in shakily. Draco stepped up to talk into your ear. You backed yourself up against one of the posts of the bed.

"Why did you follow me?" he asked.

"I've been worried about you."

He stepped back, only drinking in your presence with his eyes. His silence worried you.

"What will I do with you?" he questioned to himself.

"Draco, please. Let's talk about this."

"Talk?! You want me to listen to you, when you've been nothing but an insufferable, nosey, pathetic brat!?"

If physically possible, you know you would have staggered backwards at his words. Draco began to pace back and forth, running his fingers across his mouth.

"You've ruined EVERYTHING," he yelled. "I can't believe I've done this. They were right, they were all right. I've been so fucking stupid."

"Draco, wh-what are you saying?"

"We're ending this, now. Don't ever come near me again. Don't follow me, don't even breathe in my direction."

A thousand pins cushioned themselves inside of your heart.

"You don't mean that," you whispered.

"Get out!"

You stepped brusquely towards Draco and held his face in your hands. "You don't mean that," you repeated with more volume. Tears were welling in your eyes, and it was becoming harder to breathe.

Your chin wobbled a little in anticipation of what was to come.

He didn't mean it. He couldn't. But then, your mind flashed back to all the warnings your friends gave you. How could you have been so stupid as to ignore them? Trotting on like you knew better?

Draco's hands reached and enclosed around your wrists like he wanted to throw your hands off of him, but he hesitated. Instead, he sunk to the floor and opened the flood gates. You fell down with him, holding him closely. You stroked his soft hair, occasionally raking your fingernails across his scalp.

When his sobs controlled, he looked up at you and pushed you down into the floor with a fiery kiss.

Your tears mixed with his into a confusing, broken hearted potion. The desperation in his kiss seared deep in you, traveling all across your body. It fired neurons you didn't know existed. 

He sat you up, not breaking the kiss, and his hands started to fumble at the back of your dress. He yanked it off of you and tossed it with the same rigor as his other clothes. He unsnapped your bra in one go, and you twisted your arms to throw it off yourself. You were hoisted up with ease, and he pushed you against one of the posts of the bed. He whipped out his wand, and in one fluid motion, cast the Incarcerous spell on your wrists and ankles.

Your hands were bound together above your head, and your ankles were tied together tightly.

Draco slung off the rest of his clothes, his throbbing cock already at full mast. He stroked it eagerly while eyeing you. All his troubles seemed to dissolve into nothingness.

He walked over to you and drove circles over your clit with his saliva coated fingers. His touch was delicate, almost non-existent. Your body tried to push down into him, but it was useless. His fingers grazed down and circled your entrance. He lightly tapped a finger inside, but only barely enough that you would normally hardly notice. But your body was on fire. The electric pulses heightened every sense, and the teasing became maddening. 

He replaced his fingers with his cock, slowly stroking your swelling clit. You moaned in frenzy, dying for him to sink into you. As if reading your mind, he lifted one leg on top of the bed for some leverage and then pushed himself inside of you.

You cried out and breathed in through gritted teeth.

He pulsed up and down into you slowly, relishing in the moment. Labored breaths spilled out of you, and you ached to run your fingers on him. Anywhere. Through his luscious hair, down his back, across his chest.

Being unable to move made you want to move more. You struggled against your restraints, wanting nothing more than to touch yourself.

"What's wrong, darling? Getting a little impatient?" he asked.

"More," was all you could manage to breathe out.

"More? Are you sure?"

You nodded your head rapidly. He continued to thrust at a brusque pace. 

"If you're sure..." he muttered.

He withdrew quickly and undid your restraints. 

"On your hands and knees," he directed. 

You clambered onto the bed and did as he told. He got on his knees behind you and began to tease you again. Rocking in and out with the tip of his cock. When you tried to to push yourself back into him, he reacted immediately with a sharp smack on your ass, causing you to lurch back forward.

"How many times do we have to punish you for being so impatient?"

"I'm sorry, daddy," you whispered.

A succession of four more spanks connected with your burning skin, and he was still barely moving into you. It was absolute torture. Just when you thought you couldn't take anymore of it, Draco rammed into you and held it there for a moment while he hissed out through clenched teeth.

He brought one finger to your lips, which you knew to suck on. You laved it up as best you could, imagining it was his cock. Satisfied, he withdrew his finger and started to stroke your asshole.

"Draco-" you squeaked as you lurched forward. He cut you off with a shush. 

"If you relax, it won't hurt. Do you want me to stop?"

"No. Please don't stop."

"Good girl," he growled.

He returned to stroke over your extremely tight opening. You tried to relax, but it almost felt wrong. Maybe so wrong that it was right. There was no one else you'd rather explore every inch of your body. And just the strokes alone sent waves of pleasure through you. When he finally pushed inside of you, it felt tight, embarrassing, but strangely so damn good. Your head tossed back as you tried to relax into the pleasure with a low moan.

You were consumed with sensation. The pulsing of his cock inside of you distracted from the pain of his finger inside of you. Nothing else had ever made you feel so naughty, so humiliated, yet so satisfied all at once.

The only thing you could grip onto were the bedsheets, and you clung on as if your life depended on it.

Draco's speed increased inside your cunt, and his finger was now pushing past his knuckle. Aching for more relief, you slicked your own fingers and prompted them to your neglected clit. Three centers of pleasure all working simultaneously to push you over the edge. Your moans and cries now became a steady stream of noise that couldn't be quieted. Draco joined in the chorus with grunted harmonies. He pounded into you faster, the slap of his balls briefly connecting with your fingers that were working on yourself.

When climax overcame you, your entire body relaxed. Even the constricting hole around his finger loosened a bit. Draco pulled his finger out along with his dick, and he rubbed himself vigorously until he came all over your bright pink ass.

Before you could say anything, Draco grabbed his wand and cleaned you and himself up with Scourgify.

You collapsed face first into the pillows. Your heavy breathing was muffled by them. Draco crawled into bed beside you, and you couldn't bring yourself to look at him.

"We have to stop seeing each other," you mumbled into the sheets.


	14. Total Eclipse of the Heart

The silence between you two as your words fell and processed seemed to last forever. You couldn't bear to lift your head out of the sheets to look at him.

Draco mumbled softly at you. "What? You can't mean that."

You inhaled sharply, and finally plucked up the courage to sit upright and face him.

"Draco...Those things you said to me were absolutely horrendous. Not to mention all this secret keeping you're always do. I'm scared you're involved in something you don't want me to know about..." you admitted.

"I..I didn't mean any of that."

"I think you did. And if you didn't, you said it just to be mean. Which is also terrible."

Draco's face hung in pain and disbelief. 

"But I love you," he whispered.

His words punched through your chest and squeezed on your heart until you wanted to double over into a ball. 

"You wouldn't do that to someone you love."

"I was just scared," he spat. He was clearly grasping at anything he could to get you to stay.

He launched himself towards you and held onto your face. He lifted your head up so that your face was level with his. He whispered your name over and over, trying to stifle any sobs that were threatening to rise.

"Draco...You have so much good in you. I am always flooded by your light. But you cannot see that in yourself. And it makes you cruel sometimes, careless, and indignant. I can't fix you. I worry that you see me as someone who's in your life to fix you. Only you can do that. So, I won't sit here and be talked to the way you've talked to me. And I won't stand by while you try to use me as stepping stone to become a better person. You're capable of all of that without me."

Draco looked too stunned to speak. His hands slowly dropped from your face and onto the bed in front of you. He blinked relentlessly and pushed himself back away from you. He curled his knees to his chest and hugged them tight, staring down onto the bed.

"Stay with me," he choked, barely audible.

Against all better judgment, you said to him, "I'll stay for a few more minutes, but I mean it, Draco. We can't keep seeing each other."

He crumbled downward into the mattress, gaze fixated on the ceiling above. You curled yourself into the nook of his shoulder, and he held onto you tight. Tight like you might dissolve away if he hadn't. Tight like the warmth of his embrace might persuade you to stay. Tight like he had to make sure that you were real, and this wasn't some seething nightmare taunting his rest.

Whatever his reasoning was, you let him hold you. He stroked you hair gently, and you fell into a deep state of comfort. For a moment, reprieve washed over you, and your own personal nightmare had begun to vanish. That was the thing about your living nightmares, though. They always came back. Like a boggart that had just been Ridikkulused; it would always go back to it's original form some time. Your parents, your guilt, Draco. It would always come flooding back. You held on to the sanctity that with each passing day, the flooding would lessen and lessen until it was no longer a threat to drowning you.

You had woken up in a haze, not realizing that you ever fell asleep. Draco was still awake, still stroking your hair. When you stirred, he shifted to look down at you.

"How long was I asleep?" you asked.

"An hour or two."

You unstuck yourself from his grasp and sat up a little. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to fall asleep."

"I didn't mean to put you to sleep. I'd forgotten how playing with your hair knocks you right out."

"Right...Well, I should get going."

You started to roll over when you felt two hands cling on to your hips and lift your whole body on top of his. You looked down at Draco with a bit of annoyance, but mostly confusion.

"What are you doing?" you asked.

"One more for the road?" he suggested. A devilish expression touched the corners of his lips. Like in a trance, you found it near impossible to say no to Draco Malfoy. Giving him your answer, you pressed your lips down into him, and you felt his soft bulge start to twitch up in excitement. 

His lips were careful on yours, taking photographs of the moment. Your lips lingered on the side of his throat, doing the same. You could feel the drumming of his quickened pulse inside of your mouth, vibrating like an endless summer concert. His fingers trailed down your back, counting each vertebrae and remembering their specific shapes. His full erection was now throbbing upwards and hitting the folds of your cunt, asking to be let in. Your hands coiled through the tufts of his hair, taking in the sensations of the softness, the length.

Your lips trailed down his collarbone and through the rolling hills of his chest. Your mouth marked pinpoints of your favorite places on a map. You positioned yourself between his legs and took his length in your mouth like a prized dessert you wanted to savor. The decadence swirled and melted in your mouth, and you groaned into him. 

Draco's hips bucked upward, pushing himself further down your throat. You bobbed your head back up for air, thick pools of saliva dribbled down his shaft. You spread them further with your hand, savoring Draco's cries of pleasure.

You continued to move your head up and down along his length, coiling your tongue around every inch, leaving nothing neglected. You spent extra time circling his spongy end, sliding your tongue over the slit on his head. You lapped up the small squirts of precum, storing the salty taste into the depths of your memory.

The tips of his fingers seared permanent scars on the side of your head as they dug in, pushing your head deeper into him. His hands migrated from your head to the small of your back as he flipped you over onto your back. He took no time in switching places with you as he kissed your delicate center.

His hot breath tickled your clit just before his tongue snaked out to taste you. The familiar work he did on your cunt deepened your relaxation into the mattress. His mouth suctioned around your neediest part, rotating between sucking and licking, relishing in distinguishing every flavor. His own saliva mixed together with your flooding arousal until you felt like a pool. He closed his eyes as if focusing every other sense of his on lapping you up.

Draco removed himself slowly, his eyes unbreaking from yours. His stare traced all around your body. Even though you were broken up, your mind immediately raced to those words you told him a few weeks ago. You felt safe.

Draco grabbed your legs and held them together, hoisting them to rest on his shoulder as he sunk into you. His arms held onto your legs as he thrust in and out meticulously. Moans thudded through your chest and crawled out of your throat as your body tried to readjust to his girth once again. You were still a little sore from earlier, but he worked inside of you with ease. The tender kisses he planted along the side of your calf warmed you and spread through, relaxing you even further.

He moistened his thumb and began to rub your clit, taking away the remembrance of the ache in your walls. Draco started to pulse a little faster, sucking in through clenched teeth. When he exhaled, it came out shakily, almost like he was holding back tears.

He pulled out of you and plopped down onto his back again. It was becoming increasingly hard to look at him, so you faced away and lowered yourself onto him. As the force of your cheeks came down onto his hips, you felt his breaths become more uneven. His hands explored around every inch of you ass, caressing it with a certain care and smoothness. One hand's touch disappeared, and you knew where it went when it returned a moment later. A slick thumb started to run over your even more sore other opening. You whipped your head around at him and threw him a cautious look. As if he could read your mind, he whispered, "Don't worry." You surrendered your full trust.

He kept his thumb circling around your taut entrance as you hastened your pace on him. All the rushing pleasure caused you to cry out, in more way than one. Tears began to stream down your face as you relinquished your hold on your relationship with Draco.

Somehow, fluidly, Draco rolled you over and flipped you around so you were face down on the bed. He slid back into you instantly, holding himself there for a brief moment. You groaned out into the pillow as he rocked in and out. Both of his hands grasped your hips, driving your body closer into his.

As you edged towards climax, more tears formed. You didn't want it to end. You wished you could live in one singular, picturesque moment with Draco forever.

Draco pounded into you harder, guttural sounds breaking through the gates of his teeth until he finally spilled inside of you. He collided down onto the spongy mattress trying to catch his breath. Your face was still buried in the pillows. The tears hadn't stopped. You felt Draco stand up from the bed, and you peered over your shoulder to see what he was doing. He cast Incendio on the fireplace, and a deep warmth instantly enveloped you.

Draco placed himself next to you and pulled your body into his, holding you as you sobbed.

The inevitable question finally popped from his mouth as you steadied yourself.

"What does this mean?" he asked.

"We're still done, Draco. It's what needs to happen. That doesn't mean that this doesn't hurt like hell."

Draco kissed the back of your shoulder gently before removing himself from you. He crossed the room to the bathtub and started to run it. When he was satisfied with the temperature, he began to put his clothes back on. He came back over to the bed, leaned down to you, and kissed your cheek.

"Enjoy the bath. Thank you, for always believing in me. For trusting me," he said earnestly.

Without another word, he disappeared out the doors, but not out of your heart.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is much shorter than previous ones. I'll be honest, I kinda couldn't stop crying while writing this, and I mulled over the content for days. I feel that keeping it shorter is actually better for what I wanted to portray. I hope you all enjoyed!


	15. Christmas at the Burrow

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Before we begin, I just wanted to let you all know that I maaayyy have been a little sneakster, and copied over small sections of my Fred and George story to come. Just wanted to diffuse the tension of the breakup while promoting my upcoming story as well. This chapter will probably be a bit longer. I hope that makes up a little for such a shorter previous chapter!

A month and a half had passed since your falling out with Draco. It pained you to share classes together. He mainly sat in the back, far away from you as he could. When you were able to catch a glance at him, he always looked so sullen and empty. Much like those first few days when you first met him. It was a dreadful comparison. The Draco you grew to admire over the months had been so full of life and energy.

He now looked like the shell of who he used to be.

But you couldn't let that shake you. You never wanted to hurt Draco, but you couldn't protect him at the expense of your own well-being.

Just before Thanksgiving, Molly Weasley sent Ginny an owl about Christmas. Molly said she would have been absolutely beside herself if you hadn't joined them at the burrow for the holiday break. You told Ginny you would come, and you were excited at spending the holiday with someone. Especially since you didn't have a home to go back to.

The morning you were all out for break, you found yourself wandering unknowingly towards the Room of Requirement. Before you had even realized where your feet had led you, the familiar wooden doors had already materialized. You swallowed down hard, and pushed forward in. 

To your surprise, Draco was stretched out on the bed, reading a book. He looked bewildered when you came in.

You examined the room, and saw one of his trunks with half his clothes strewn about it.

"Why are you holed up here with your things?" you asked.

"I'm not going home for the holiday, I decided."

"Interesting."

"What makes it so interesting?" he asked while snapping his book shut.

"I distinctly remember the smell of Christmas trees when I smelled the Amortentia in Slughorn's class. I know the scents belonged to you. No point in pretending they didn't."

A small smile spread across Draco's face, but it didn't reach his eyes.

"Of course," he muttered.

"So it seems," you started as you took deliberately large steps towards him, "that Christmas is rather special to you. I guess I'm just shocked you're not going home."

Draco averted his gaze, but then patted the bed, inviting you to sit. You sat on the other side of the bed, kicked off your boots, faced him, and crossed your legs.

"It's true," he began. "Christmas was always rather special. It has sort of lost it's..." he paused, trying to find the perfect word. "it's magic, I suppose," he chuckled.

"How so?" 

Draco eyed you peculiarly, like you were a puzzle he wanted to solve. He probably questioned why you were so fascinated, or wondered why either of you were going on like nothing had happened between you. Either way, he didn't physically ask.

The ease at which you both settled into comfort around each other took you by surprise, and you wondered if it had for him too.

"Christmas was always special at the Manor. Father didn't particularly care for it. Always called it some stupid muggle holiday. But I loved going into town and seeing the snow, the lights, and decorations. Everyone was just so bloody happy. I wanted that feeling all the time. My mum saw how much I enjoyed it, so she always insisted that we made a fuss about of it. My father, being in love with her, let it slide."

He began to stroke the spine of his book, his gaze shooting towards the crackling fireplace.

"I always adored my mum. She always did everything to make my life feel special. To make it feel like Christmas time. I dunno," he trailed off. "I guess, I remember every Christmas feeling like a time where there was no wizarding bullshit. No muggle bullshit. No bickering, no anger or hostility. Just one day where we could be a family who loved and accepted each other."

"What's changed?"

"What?" he asked weakly, almost as if snapping out of a trance.

"If Christmas has always been so special, why aren't you going home?"

"I don't think I can ever look at my parents the same again," he confessed.

His face hung for just a moment, but he straightened it back to neutrality. You decided it was best not to press him for anymore information.

"I'm sorry, Draco," you whispered. A half hearted smile tugged one corner of his lips upward. "I wish you could go home and experience those joys you've held onto so dearly. Promise me you'll get up and walk around the castle sometimes, and not just rot your muscles here in bed?"

He chuckled again. "Why do you care so much about my well-being?"

"Time heals all wounds, they say. Sometimes, it takes a really long fucking time," you said as you let out a breathy laugh. You jumped off the bed and started to put your boots back on. You ambled back towards the door and took one last look over your shoulder at Draco.

"Take care, yeah?"

"Always."

"And, Merry Christmas, Draco," you whispered as you walked out.

The train ride back to London was long. Your conversation with Draco played in your head in a constant repeat. You relayed all the information to Ginny: the painful breakup, the amazing break up sex, and the strange chat you had with him not hours ago.

"He seems to be taking it...well?" she stated unsurely. 

"I don't know. He was so broken up about it the night it happened. He seems...fine?" you replied, also unsurely.

You and Ginny burst out into a fit of giggles.

"Boys are stupid. Don't waste time stressing over trying to figure it out. You did the right thing," she assured. "Take Harry, for example. Took him YEARS to finally like me back. It was picture-perfect, and then..." she trailed off.

"And then?"

"Then, he had to go be Harry Potter. The Chosen One. The one who had to go hunt down horcruxes to defeat You-Know-Who," she sighed.

"Horcruxes?" you asked, bewildered.

Ginny waved her hand around as if telling you not to ask. "I'll tell you about it later. Anyway, he broke up with me before he left. I get it, I do. Why leave me around just waiting to hear if he's died or not? But the thing is, as accepting and supportive as I was of his choice, I wanted to slap him upside the head and yell at him. Even though we're not together, I'm still out of my mind everyday wondering if he'll come back dead. I have every faith in him, but you just never know, right?"

"Harry's lucky to have someone so amazing in his life like you."

"He is, isn't he?" she laughed. "At any rate, let's not worry about these boys. Let's enjoy our holiday together. I'm excited for you to meet mum and dad. Fred and George will be there too. Ron will obviously be gone, as will Percy, Bill, and Charlie. That alone makes me want to assure you that it'll be a quiet holiday, but with Fred and George around, it'll be anything but."

The rest of the ride, Ginny told you a bit about her mom, dad, and Fred and George. Molly was extremely affectionate and welcoming, even if sometimes overwhelmingly so. Arthur worked at the Ministry in the Department of Misuse of Muggle Artefacts. Fred and George were twins. Both were very protective over Ginny, but also knew she could hold her own. They were mischievous, always plotting their next scheme or prank, but they always knew when to reel it in.

It sounded like Ginny was right. It was probably going to be a raucous holiday, but you were glad for the distraction.

When you walked into the front door of the Burrow, you could hear Molly's cries and laughs of joy sing out. She wrapped Ginny up in the tightest hug you had ever seen, and after she gave you one as well, the tightest you had ever felt. You immediately melted into her embrace, relishing in the warmth of a mother's love. She held your face in both hands as she pulled away.

"My dear, it's so good to have you here. Ginny's told me so much about you. Oh! And look at you, you're wearing the sweater I made for you," she beamed.

"Yes, of course! Thank you again for it. It's so warm and comfy."

"Ginny, dear. Take her up to Percy's room to put down her things," she ordered.

"That's next to Fred and George's room. They snore like Hungarian Hornbacks. Surely, she'd be more comfortable in Bill and Charlie's old room."

"She'll be closer to the bathroom in Percy's room," Molly stated.

"Oi, we don't snore that badly," said two devilishly handsome twins at the same time as they descended the stairs. They grinned eagerly at you, completely ignoring their sister.

"Oh, don't mind me, your sister. Who's been at school all term. And hasn't seen you at all. Nope. Didn't want a hello anyways," she said sarcastically.

"We've seen your freckly face for 16 years, dear sister," stated one of the twins.

"We just wanted to greet our guest with kindness," said the other.

The first twin who spoke up took your hand gently and kissed your knuckles. "Enchanté. I'm Fred," he introduced.

Ginny rolled her eyes. "Someone's been spending way too much time with Bill and Fleur."

The other twin, who with your maddeningly, brilliant, deduction skills, looked at the other and guessed he was George. George was easier, and simply shook your hand and introduced himself. You tried not to make it so obvious, but your gaze trailed between the two of them, looking for any sign of how to tell them apart. It was quite difficult at first. They were so identical. But once George turned his head to the side and scratched his neck, you noticed two small moles just beneath his ear. That was your ticket.

After Ginny helped you get settled in Percy's room, you meandered back downstairs to help Molly with dinner. She had you on chopping duty, which you did entirely by hand. She tried to teach you a spell to have it done magically, but you insisted on doing it yourself. She still taught you anyway, "just in case."

Fred and George stalked into the kitchen and eyed you curiously. They didn't say anything until Molly went out to the garden for some more vegetables.

"Why are you cooking by hand?" asked Fred.

You looked up at the two boys, ready to impress them with the fact that you could already tell them apart. Ginny had mentioned that it was difficult for most people.

"Well, Fred," you enunciated heavily, "it's good to be skilled with your hands," you teased.

Fred straightened his posture a little, taken a bit aback. "I'm not Fred..." he said with a hint of suspicion in his tone.

"Sure you are. George has two moles on his neck," you said while pointing your knife at George.

George looked thoroughly dazzled. "Blimey, she's good, Fred."

Fred and George shared a look, but one you couldn't quite place your finger on. 

"We'll leave you to it," said Fred. "Smells delicious, by the way." With that, the two boys departed from the kitchen and headed back upstairs.

Dinner passed by pleasantly. Molly and Arthur didn't do much prodding, but asked the normal questions you expected from meeting your friend's parents for the first time. Fred and George were polite and sweet. Fred made certain to compliment the food several times, sneaking a glance your way as he did. 

Once dinner finished, Molly and Arthur retired up to their bedrooms. Ginny said she was feeling quite exhausted from the journey, so she too decided to settle into bed.

"If you need anything, I'm just one floor down," she said. 

"Thank you. I'll probably nestle into bed soon. I'm going to have some tea by the fire first." 

As you said this, Fred and George looked over in your direction, as if they were soaking in what you just said. They were huddled together in conversation, their voices too low to make anything out. Ginny headed upstairs, and the twins followed shortly after.

You mozied to the kitchen to put on the tea kettle and waited for it to whistle. Once you poured you tea and added your milk and sugar, you shuffled back to the living room and enjoyed the quiet and the heat from the fire and your tea. 

Suddenly, you heard the creaking of the stairs as someone came down. You weren't expecting it to be Fred.

"Sorry to intrude," he started. "Couldn't sleep. Thought I'd pour myself a cuppa as well. Anymore water left?" 

"Yeah, of course."

Fred disappeared around the corner and came back after a few moments holding a steaming mug. "Mind if I sit?" he asked, gesturing towards the spot on the couch next to you. You nodded in agreement, and he settled in, almost a little too close to you. Your thighs touched together for a brief moment before he pulled his away.

"Draco Malfoy? Really?" he held nothing back, it seemed.

Your cheeks flushed a little just hearing his name. "What's it to you?"

"I don't mean to pry. Well, obviously I do a little, since I am. Word spreads around fast in the wizarding world. We could hardly believe it. I mean, really? That prat? You're way too bloody sweet for him."

"I'm not going to argue with you, Fred, but you didn't know him the way I do. Besides, we're not together anymore." It was difficult to fight the swelling blob that was transpiring in your throat.

"I'm sorry to hear that."

"I thought he was a prat to you?"

"He was a prat to a lot of people. Ginny said he seemed different after he met you. So, I trust her. Nonetheless, breakups are tough. But you know what they say in the muggle world, eh?" he asked as he nudged your ribs with his elbow.

You shot him a confused look. "No?"

"The best way to get over someone is to get under someone else," he laughed awkwardly.

"Are you coming on to me?" you asked incredulously. You tried to hide your amusement. Fred Weasley putting the moves on you more than tingled something inside of you. You couldn't deny that he was more handsome than you were anticipating.

You eyed him cautiously, desperately clinging onto any attempts to hide your curiosity.

"You're thinking about it," he stated.

"Am not!"

"Sweetheart, you're easy to read," he chuckled. "Relax, though. You're cute, but I'm not in the business of making anyone uncomfortable. Well, I'll leave you alone and head back to bed," he said while standing up.

You didn't know what it was, but you were compelled to stand as well. You shot up off the couch. Fred was now standing inches away from you leering down at your face.

"Going somewhere?" asked Fred.

"N-no." you stuttered.

"Am I making you uncomfortable?" he asked earnestly.

You weren't sure what you were feeling. Uncomfortable might have been too strong of a word. Your heart was racing.

"No," you said more firmly.

"Good. Like I said, wouldn't want that."

All you could do was swallow and shake your head.

"You're still standing mighty close," he observed. 

Fred raised a hand and stroked your cheek with the back of his fingers. It was soft and delicate. It was so inviting that you instinctively leaned your face into it. You closed your eyes and exhaled sharply.

"I think you want to do something," proclaimed Fred.

Your eyes snapped open, and this time, his lips were a hairs distance from yours.

"Like what?" you whispered.

"Like this."

In no time at all, Fred's lips pressed hard into yours. Your core began to liquify, your knees went weak, and your arms felt heavy. Was this really happening?

He grabbed your face with both hands.

His tongue slipped out of his mouth and into yours. It slopped around your tongue, dancing and twisting in harmony.

He gently stepped into you more, and you could feel his bulge pulsing in his pants. The thinnest of layers separated you from it.

Anticipation bubbled in your chest, and excitement coiled in your throat. A short moan fled from your lips and into his mouth, which prompted Fred to back away.

"Now, now. As much as I would love to hear you moan, we can't be waking the whole house now, can we?"

Fuck. 

Pain twisted in your chest as you thought of Draco, but bubbling excitement took over when you focused yourself in the present situation. Your cheeks grew hot at the idea of recklessly fooling around with Fred where anyone could walk down and catch you. Tingles started to spread from your cunt down your legs.

"What are you doing, Fred?" you questioned.

"Kissing you," he answered as he planted a tender kiss on your lips.

Your head felt light and dizzy. This wasn't something you did. You didn't just kiss random people. Though, you supposed, Fred wasn't technically random. But you still didn't know him really at all.

"Why?"

Why? Why did you even ask that? Why were you questioning Fred Weasley about kissing you? He was as handsome as he was intriguing

"Because they looked so delectable," he whispered while staring at your lips.

That was enough to send you fully armed into battle. You flung your arms around his neck and pulled him back down to you. Your lips crashed together like magnets. Any thoughts of Draco instantly dissolved into nothingness.

There was something athirst in his kisses. In that moment, you wanted nothing more than to quench his desire fully and completely. You were utterly at his will. Every part of you was melting and dripping into his hands.

Before you totally dissolved, you found the boldness to take back a little control. You grabbed his biceps firmly, spun him around, and pushed him down onto the couch.

Fred looked up at you in awe.

Before you had the chance to sit on top of him, he grabbed you by the sweater and yanked you down. You swung both legs over the sides of his and plunged back in for another sloppy kiss.

His hands were now exploring the back of your head. Your hair was perfect for him to grab on to, and that's exactly what he did. He tugged on it hard enough to drag your lips from his and expose your neck.

Like a predator going in for the kill, Fred's lips swarmed to your neck. He kissed it feverishly, and he began to suck and nibble at the same spot.

"Fred," you whispered breathlessly.

Arousal circumnavigated your head as he worked tirelessly on the side of your neck. It pulsed down through your veins and deep into your cunt, which was now aching to be touched.

To try and pleasure yourself, you slowly grinded your hips back and forth while pressing yourself further into his groin. His other hand, which had been on your hip, started to dig into your skin.

His lips worked their way from your neck to your collarbone.

His grip around your hair loosened, and he brought it around and started to palm your breast. Growing more lustful with each passing second and every painstaking touch, you could feel your nipples starting to perk up under your shirt.

His hand made a bee-line under your sweater and right to your nipple. He started to tug and pinch while also squeezing your breast with greed.

Shaky breaths flew out of your mouth one by one.

Your whole body trembled at trying to keep quiet from wanting to let Fred know just how perfectly he was hitting all your spots.

You still wanted more.

Your hands flew to the back of his head, and you grasped at clumps of his thick, soft, orange hair. You made sure your grip felt needy, and you used that leverage to pull his mouth somehow deeper into yours.

After a few more minutes, Fred pulled away breathless.

The only thing illuminating the room was the crackling fireplace. It made his bright hair even more vibrant. He looked at you, and his brown eyes were melting into spoonful of sweet and sticky honey. They were restless and guileless.

"Fred," you started.

"Shhh," quelled Fred.

You took this opportunity to continue peering into his eyes. You hoped to reach in and find whatever answers you were looking for, because you had more questions now than when you started.

Confidently, Fred's hand zipped to your jeans and undid them with ease. His hand slid inside and down to your puddling opening.

You threw your head back and let out a palpable breath.

"You're drenched," Fred whispered into your ear. "I haven't even touched you yet."

"So touch me," you volleyed back.

With that simple request, Fred sunk two fingers deep inside of you. On command, you relaxed your hips down and pushed him further into you. He coiled his fingers forward and began to work them up and down.

With his free thumb, he started to rub your clit unhurriedly. He was taking his time, savoring in every moment.

But you grew impatient. You rocked your hips up and down, riding on his fingers.

Fred grabbed the bottom of your sweater and lifted it up to expose your breasts. His mouth pounced onto your nipple, and his tongue swam laps around your sensitive bud.

Steadily moving towards climax, you couldn't restrain your noises. A moan and a gasp here and there kept slipping out, and Fred slapped his free hand over your mouth.

"Be a good girl, sweetheart, or I won't let you cum."

You nodded quickly, and Fred released his hand, returning it to the small of your back. At the same time, his mouth raced back to your breast. His lips landed on the inside of your tit, and he started to suck hard. He bounced back between that and nipping lightly. You just knew he was trying to leave territorial marks all over you.

But that was the least of your worries. In current time, all you wanted to do was cum all over Fred's fingers, and you were close.

You were still riding him, taking full control. But in conjunction with his stimulation on your breast and clit, it all culminated to fast and fiery euphoria.

"Don't stop," you begged.

"Yes ma'am," he grunted back.

Within moments, pleasure coursed through you like a bullet train. Tracks leading from every part of your body and shooting towards your sex. Unable to suppress it at the risk of waking anyone up, a low moan shot out of you as all the tension released.

As you came to a stop, Fred's magic did as well. He slid his fingers out of you and brought them up to his mouth. He placed both of them inside and lapped up all of your juices.

Still gasping for air, all you could do was watch.

"You taste so fucking good," he commented.

He grabbed your sweater and pulled it back down for you. He looked up at you and stared for a little while. 

"Fred..."

"You've been saying my name a lot tonight."

"You don't like me saying your name?" you teased.

Fred pulled your face down so he could whisper in your ear.

"I'd like it better if you were screaming it."

You were thankful that it was mostly dim in the room. Blood rushed to your cheeks, and they burned hot. You didn't want Fred knowing he had such an affect on you. Besides, what even was this? What did it mean to him?

"Fred," you started again.

"There you go again."

"I'm serious."

"You're Harry's godfather?!" he joked.

Your face turned stern, and you stared daggers into his. Fred dropped his jokester disposition and caressed your face.

"What is it? Did I do something wrong?"

You inhaled fortitude, trying to chose your words carefully.

"No, that was amazing. Better than amazing. I'm speechless about it. It just kind of came out of the blue. I don't really get it."

Fred considered your feelings carefully.

"I'm sorry if I made you feel cornered. It wasn't my intention. Truthfully, I just wanted to kiss you. But then you whirled me around onto that couch, and I yanked you down like it was the only thing I knew how to do. And princess, when you started grinding on my cock, I just knew I had to be inside of you. Even partially."

Your chest heaved at the weight of his words.

Fuck.

Fuck, fuck, fuck.

You were fucking fucked.

The only thing on your mind now was Fred Weasley pounding you into next week. But then, you wondered if the other Weasley twin was identical to Fred in every way. The two thoughts rattled around in your brain. They were unshakeable.

"Say something," pleaded Fred.

"I'm just thinking about you inside of me now," you said. It was the truth, even if it was half of the truth.

Fred grinned hard. "Next time, princess." He patted your bum twice and hoisted you off of him. "Feeling sleepy now?"

You hadn't realized it at first, but you were. The exhaustion hit you like a truck. "Actually, I am yeah."

"Cheeky bits will do that to you," said Fred with an exaggerated wink.

"Shut up," you giggled as you softly hit his arm. "I should probably go to bed now." You stretched your arms upward and pushed your stretch down into your pelvis.

"May I walk you up to your bedchambers madam?" he asked while holding out an elbow.

You rolled your eyes, but smiled anyways. "Why yes good sir," you played along. Fred escorted you to Percy's room, and he eyed you longingly as you closed the door behind you. You smiled to yourself. Even if it hadn't meant anything, it was nice for a moment to be distracted.


	16. A Night(mare) to Remember

The return back to Hogwarts left your mind abuzz. The Yule ball was just around the corner, a Draco sized ache still tugged at your heart, and your head was still reeling from your night with Fred. In the following weeks after it happened, Fred was particularly flirty in every sneaky way he could be, but he never pressured you for more intimacy.

In fact, you remembered his words dearly. Your lives were currently so different, separate, that the two of you didn't make sense, even if it was fun. Fred was sweet, and very genuine. The words he whispered to you as you hugged him goodbye still floated around in your head.

"Don't let Draco consume your happiness. You're worth too much more."

It was kind of him, and you appreciated the sentiment, but you still couldn't help but think of all the vulnerable moments you shared with Draco. However, it was always laced with the dull pounding of how poorly he treated you.

Your arrival back to school fell on a Friday, and the Yule ball was the next day.

You grew excited seeing the work the Professors had already put into all the decorations. The candles in the Great Hall had been replaced with floating glass snow flakes. Draperies of baby blue and white streamers and twinkling lights flooded your eyesight.

For a brief moment, you had wished that you would be dancing with Draco underneath it all. But you shook that thought out of your head and replaced it with images of grooving all night long with your friends.

The afternoon of the ball arrived, and you sat in your dorm room giggling with Ginny.

"So, spill the beans already!" she yelled.

"There's nothing to spill," you lied terribly.

"Fred is one hell of a ladies man, but I've never seen him look at someone with such intrigue like he did you."

"Fine. We kissed, or whatever," you confessed. You figured a half truth was better than relinquishing the memory of riding on his fingers.

Ginny waggled her eyebrows at you before breaking into hefty laughter. "Okay, okay. No more details. That's all I need to know about my brother's business," she said with a shudder.

"You were begging to know!" you teased.

"I know, I know! I just want to know all your secrets," she said while she steepled her fingers together, laughing maniacally. 

Ginny was already dressed in a dark purple gown that reached her knees. The skirt flowed out while the top hugged her frame. There was a seductive V-line cut, and the straps clung tightly to the tops of her shoulders. She was a vision.

Now, it was your turn.

You pulled out the immaculate dress that Molly made for you. It was even more beautiful than you remembered.

After you pulled on the long, flowy crimson dress, you felt so elegant. Your leg stuck out of the slit, and you felt powerful and sexy.

"You look like a true Gryffindor," exclaimed Ginny. "Powerful and adorned in red," she laughed.

You held out an elbow towards Ginny after you put the finishing touches on your hair and makeup. She hopped off the bed with grace and took your arm. 

The two of you waited in the common room for Neville, Seamus, and Dean. They were dressed to the nines, and apparently thought you both were too. Dean let out a low whistle when he came downstairs. He immediately waltzed over, grabbed both yours and Ginny's hands, and twirled you around.

"Let's go have a bit of fun, shall we?" asked Seamus.

You all nodded in agreement, and you smiled warmly at the possibilities of the night to come.

If only you had known that some of the possibilities would be worse than you could imagine.

The roaring music floated up part way of the grand stair case, filling you with infectious jubilee. Your shoulders instinctively bounced as you descended the steps. You looked around at the smiles on your friends' faces, Luna's joining in when you met her at the bottom of the stairs.

An upbeat song was blasting as you all walked into the entrance of the transformed Great Hall, and Seamus started to shuffle his feet towards the crowd. He beckoned you all to come dance, but Neville and Luna hung back a little. You, Ginny, and Dean mimicked Seamus in dance. Everyone jumped up and down, shifting into the already large sea of students dancing in front of the stage. With each thud into the ground, it felt as if every bad feeling sloughed off you. Everyone's hair whipped around, slowly gathering more and more sweat. You didn't even care how badly you might have looked. You were smiling more than you had all term.

Eventually, the tune changed to a slower song, and many people took the opportunity to take a break. The crowd lessened by half, and Ginny and Seamus were part of the half that left. Dean looked at you with a coy smile.

"Fancy a slow, awkward, friend dance?" he asked, holding out his hand.

You took it, and he placed his arms at your waist as your placed yours around his neck.

"I'm not going to say it, you know," he started.

"Say what?" you asked quizzically. 

"That you're better off without Malfoy."

A small laugh left your chest. "You kind of are saying it, though."

He matched your laugh. "Suppose you're right."

"He's not all bad," you whispered.

"I know."

"You do?" you asked as you raised an eyebrow at him.

"You're your own person. Your judgments are yours to make. As your friend, I have to trust them. Even if my judgments aren't the same."

"Thank you, Dean."

As the song began to wrap up, you took a glance around at all the other couples nearby. Neville and Luna were finally dancing nearby in an awkward but matching rhythm. 

You felt the air catch in your chest as you spotted that lustrous, platinum hair spinning around with none other than Pansy Parkinson. You tried to swallow down the knot in your throat, but it was useless. Once the song was over, you had planned to excuse yourself for a drink, but something happened to derail that.

The song finished, and you watched Draco stalk off aggressively out of the Great Hall. Dean saw it too, and he shot you a look as if he could read your mind.

"Stay," he begged. "With your friends, who care about you."

"Going back on your word already?"

Dean recoiled slightly. 

"You just said not moments ago that you trust my judgment," you reminded.

"Yes, and that's true. But that doesn't mean you have to chase after him. You guys are over, right?"

"Yes, but, something feels off," you admitted. "Something's really wrong."

After a small pause, Dean continued. "Go get your prince." 

You thanked him, and asked that he give the gang an excuse. You wanted your friends to hear it from you.

You lifted up your dress and started to run out of the Great Hall. Looking all around, there was no sign of Draco. Maybe Dean was right. Why were you chasing after him? You had no clue as to where he had wandered off to.

Then, it struck you.

The Room of Requirement.

You hastily made your way up to the seventh floor, taking your heels off once again to become more undetectable. As you reached the hallway rife with secrets, you hung back around the corner to investigate. It seemed your intuition was right, and you sorely wished it hadn't been.

Draco hastily marched out of the room and down the hall.

Once a moment had passed, you looked back around the corner just in time to see him going around another. The direction he was heading towards, you knew, was most likely the Astronomy Tower. There wasn't really much else in that area.

You mustered up as much courage as you could, and you followed him.

As you crept up the stairs to the tower, you felt someone tug on your arm and pull you underneath the steps and the floor above. You wanted to yell out at first, but the pleading face of a boy was ushering you to be quiet. He was unmistakable with his lightning scar. It was Harry. You shot him a confused look, and he pointed upward. 

Through the floorboards, you could see Dumbledore's robes billowing in the wind. The echoing sound of Draco's footsteps drained all the blood from your body.

"Expelliarmus!" yelled Draco, leaving the powerful wizard wandless.

"Good evening, Draco," greeted Dumbledore.

"Shut up," snarled Draco. His voice quivered.

You looked at Harry, confusion and grief overtaking your face. Before you could even process anymore, up walked three cloaked figures. One of them was a woman who stood almost as tall as the other two men. Her long, curly hair was wild and black as night. The knot returned to your throat as you clasped a hand over your mouth in an attempt to stifle your gasps.

You knew her. Bellatrix Lestrange. One of the most sadistic, loyal followers of Voldemort. Bile threatened to emerge when you remembered the conversation you had with your friends at breakfast just a few months ago.

It was there, bold and in your face.

Draco Malfoy was a Death Eater. Even worse, he led a handful of them into the castle. 

"Ah, I see you've invited some friends," said Dumbledore almost cheerfully. 

"Do it, Draco," hissed Bellatrix. "DO IT!" she yelled out.

You couldn't see his face, but you could tell from the sounds alone that Draco was filled with hesitation and anguish. A few tears choked his words.

"I have to do this, or he'll kill me."

"Draco, you do not have to do this. I remember a young boy once, just like you, who made all the wrong choices. I know that's not you," assured Dumbledore.

"You don't know anything about me," snapped Draco.

The ping-ponging conversation drowned out in your ears as your started to lose your grip on reality. You couldn't believe what was happening before you. Would Draco really kill Dumbledore? Was the man you poured part of your heart and soul into capable of murder? You hadn't even realized that another person had walked past and joined the others. It wasn't until Dumbledore said his name that you realized who it was.

"Severus, please," begged Dumbledore.

Through the spaces of the floor, it appeared that Draco was lowering his wand. Snape moved Draco out of the way with a small push. Snape stood were Draco was. Like it was nothing at all, Snape unleashed the killing curse from his wand, sending Dumbledore's lifeless body over the edge of the tower.

It took every ounce of courage you had, and some synthetic bravery, to not cry out. Though you didn't know Harry, he pulled you in tightly, trying to comfort you while consoling himself.

"Come, darling. We must go," commanded Bellatrix. "The battle is nigh. The boy will be next."

You figured, they were probably talking about Harry. He was all that the Dark Lord wanted for so many years. Your sudden desire to protect him and the scathing questions you had for Draco overwhelmed you. You made the inane decision to step out of the shadows.

Bellatrix whirled around to face you when she heard the sharp creaking of the stairs. Draco's face went whiter than it had ever been when he laid eyes on you. He inhaled sharply, but refrained from speaking. He looked terrified, gutted. His hands trembled.

"My, my, what do we have here?" laughed Bellatrix. Her laugh was shriller than Pansy's. It pierced your ears and caused you to flinch. "Kill the spare," she laughed even harder.

"No!" shouted Draco as he lurched forward for you. He was held back by one hand of Snape's.

Bellatrix's head snapped back to Draco. "Oh, I see. Someone has a personal stake in this woman, doesn't he. That explains why she came barreling up here after you. Still, even more reason to kill her."

"No! Let me take her back to the manor," begged Draco. "We'll deal with her there."

"Draco, we don't have time for this!" shrieked Bellatrix.

"We still have to summon him, right? And all the other Death Eaters?" asked Draco. "We have time." Then, he said something that shocked your system. "I want to do it. I want to be the one to kill her."

A sinister smile inched across Bellatrix's face, revealing her horrendously yellow and gangly teeth. She agreed to this, reveling in the torment. She grabbed you by the arm and led you out of the tower with the others. It seemed that Harry was still out of sight, and you were thankful he still had a fighting chance.

Somehow, everyone made it to the castle grounds unnoticed. Once there, Bellatrix instructed Draco to take you to Hogsmeade where the two of you could disapparate out. Bellatrix's powerful grip was replaced with Draco's gentler one. It all but calmed you. Fear still riddled your mind, swam in your gut, and dried out your throat.

When you apparated to Malfoy Manor, you immediately retched and puked all over Draco's dress shoes. Instinctively, you apologized.

"The shoes don't matter right now. You do."

This was it. He was going to kill you.

The quick pattern of clicking heels filled the room as a woman, whom you presumed to be his mother, raced in. Hot on her trail was his father. 

"What is the meaning of this?" hissed Lucius.

"She was there. At the Astronomy tower," whispered Draco. He looked so small as his father towered over him.

"Did you do it? Did you succeed?" snapped Lucius. 

"I-no. Snape did it for me."

A wave of relief seemed to wash over Narcissa, but she covered it quickly.

"Why have you brought this girl here?" asked Narcissa.

"She was there," repeated Draco. "Bellatrix said I had to kill her."

"Then what are you waiting for? Get on with it," ordered Lucius. "Better yet, I'll do it. You might chicken out of this one too."

Draco shrunk even further into himself.

"Draco," you pleaded.

His eyes searched yours for a long time. For what, you probably would never know. After a moment, he looked at his mother with resolve. "Mum," he muttered.

It was as if they were on the same wavelength. "Perhaps, Lucius, he could perform a memory charm on the girl," she offered.

"No, no please," you begged. You knew it was better than death, but forgetting Draco felt worse than death.

"Get on with it, boy," huffed Lucius. "I'm leaving. The battle has begun. I expect you to meet me there shortly." With a thunderous crack, Lucius disapparated. The words "battle" clung tightly to your chest. Of course. You should have expected it. Dumbledore was dead, Death Eaters led into the castle. A war was upon everyone.

Narcissa pulled Draco away from you, but they were still barely in earshot. You strained your ears to listen.

"Draco, are you sure this is the right choice?" she asked.

"Mum, I cannot see her dead."

"Very well, darling. I'll leave you to it," she whispered before heading out the doors she came in.

Draco breathed in for a long time before turning back to you.

"I had a plan," he whispered through gritted teeth. "A plan to serve the dark lord in my family's footsteps. To make them proud. To live the life I was told to lead." He exhaled shakily. "The cracks in that amour started to form long before I met you, but then you sprung out of air and completely upended my life."

"Draco," you whispered.

Tears were rolling down Draco's cheek. You could hardly look at him. You refused to look into his eyes, knowing that if you did, you would see your own mental state reflected back at you in an endless corridor of terror and uncertainty that led nowhere. For he too felt the same confusion and helplessness.

He angled your face back up to look at him anyway. The cold metal of his thumb ring bit at your skin as he ran his thumb over your cheekbone.

Fate clenched its steely grip around your throat, squeezing out all the air in your lungs. All you could do was choke out sobs.

"I never wanted this," started Draco. "Any of this. I didn't have a choice."

He took a step back and pulled out his wand, pointing it at your face. Your head fell with the unyielding weight of every sorrow between the two of you.

"Obliviate," whispered Draco.

You trembled harder than you ever had. Fear still clawing into your stomach. When you looked back up, you didn't recognize the person standing in front of you.


	17. The Battle of Hogwarts

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> PLEASE FORGIVE ME FOR LAST CHAPTER'S CLIFFHANGER! I love you all and your support so much. Trust me, it pained me to write it and read it over and over during editing just as much as it did for you all. As a payment for the suffering I've put you through, I worked tirelessly to get this next chapter out. There's only one more chapter after this guys! I am broken lmao.

Your face went numb as you looked up at the person standing in front of you. It seemed that everything you knew had flown out the manor windows.

"Draco, what did you do?" you hissed.

All of Draco's muscles tensed as he paced back and forth in front of you.

"Answer me!" you yelled. "What did you erase? You told your mother you were erasing my memory, and yet I still remember everything. What. Did. You. Do?"

"I couldn't live with you forgetting me," he cried out. "So, you have to play along until we get back to Hogwarts."

"Play along?! Draco! Answer me! What did you erase?"

"Your parents! Everything to do with your parents," he answered in shame.

The words slapped you hard in the face like a bitter winter wind. You had no idea who he was talking about. Of course, you knew logically that you had parents, but no information about them came to mind.

"I...don't understand," you whispered. "How did you use the memory charm and only take away part of my memories?"

"It was a modified version. A different wand movement," he explained.

"Why my parents?" you sighed.

"You had horrible memories of things that happened with your parents...It caused you great suffering. I-I figured I would wipe that instead."

"How fucking considerate of you, Draco."

"You were miserable over it!"

"That's MY misery to carry! Not yours to eradicate!"

Draco's lips pursed together in a thin line. "I know."

"Do you? Do you not realize how absolutely selfish you've been just now? And I haven't even been able to bring up what happened on the Astronomy tower!"

Seething rage coursed through you. The person in front of you was a total stranger, and yet, it took so much self control to not reach out and touch him.

"I had to," he whispered. "Voldemort," he started, wincing at the name, "He would have killed me if Dumbledore hadn't died. I wanted out, but you don't say no to him and leave with your life. You have to understand."

"You cursed Katie Bell in Hogsmeade, didn't you?" More parts of your body started to shut down to the numbness.

Draco's head hung in guilt, and it was all the answer you needed.

"She almost died!" you chastised. 

"And I would have been broken over that for the rest of my life!" he screamed.

The doors into the sitting room swung open as Narcissa gracefully marched over. 

"I heard yelling," she noted. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing, mother. Just filling in necessary blanks."

Narcissa looked you over with a seemingly uncharacteristic compassion before turning back to Draco. "Darling, we must go."

"One more minute. Go on without me," ordered Draco.

Narcissa nodded and disapparated out into the air.

You sighed shortly and stared at the ground. "What do we do now?"

Draco raked his hand through his hair. "They'll be expecting me at the battle."

"So, you're just going to go kill our friends? Our classmates and Professors?" you laughed in disbelief. 

"I never said that," he mumbled.

"You're a Death Eater, Draco! What do you expect me to believe?"

Draco's face hung low. His inner turmoil clawed at his willingness to be honest, it seemed. His willingness won the battle.

"I meant it when I said I wanted out of this for a long time," was all he offered.

"Okay."

"Okay? That's it?"

"It's not good enough for me, Draco. But it needs to be for now. We have to get back."

Draco nodded solemnly as he held out his arm for you to take. Reluctantly, you placed your hand on it and waited for the twisting warp of disapparation. This time, when you landed in Hogsmeade with a jostling lurch, you didn't upchuck your contents all over Draco's shoes.

You instantly released your grip on his arm, a little violently, and Draco took note.

"I suppose this is where we part ways," whispered Draco.

You didn't even look at him as you started to stomp off towards the castle, struggling with the reality of what you would stumble upon.

"Wait," he called out. He cried out your name with a certain ache that cut you in half. "I know you want nothing to do with me ever again. I know I've been nothing but selfish in our relationship. I have no excuses. I meant it when I said I loved you, and I know that won't change anything for you. I kept things from you, yes. But I never lied about my feelings. About you. About my family. About my task. I never lied."

You breathed in deeply before meeting his eyes. "I believe you, but it's still not good enough. I'm sorry." You turned away before you could catch a glimpse of his reaction, knowing that if you did, the last remnants of your heart would shatter into nothing.

You broke out into a full sprint towards the castle. By the time you got there, your lungs burned for air. The scene unfolding before you delivered a swift punch to your gut, almost causing you to double over in anxiety.

Dozens of flashes of lights burst through the tips of wands all around you. Giants towered over everyone swinging weapons and causing mass destruction. Hordes of students fought off giant spiders and Death Eaters. You ran through the chaos with your head covered, zig-zagging through flying debris. You tried to shield your eyes from the kick up of dirt and dust. The screams, cries, and pleas all possessed your eardrums. The rumble of echoing stone collapsing around you felt like it deafened you. You made your way into the corridor in front of the Great Hall when you ran into Ginny and Harry who ushered you inside.

"Harry," you started.

"I'm fine," he replied as if reading your mind. "What happened to you? I thought surely Bellatrix would have murdered you if not Malfoy."

You recounted the events that occurred once you arrived at Malfoy manor, and Ginny and Harry's eyes grew wider with each sentence.

"I knew that git was bad news," gritted Ginny.

"He's not all bad," you defended softly.

"You keep saying that," she retorted.

"Because it's true! He's done some horrible things. I won't ever deny that, but he's also a boy who's mind has been twisted by the dark forces around him. That's not his fault. I-" You wanted to continue, but you knew it wasn't the time or place to try and sort out your feelings. "This isn't the time. He saved me from death. It counts for something. Now I'm here. What can I do?"

"I'm looking for something," started Harry. "It will help us defeat Voldemort. It's from Ravenclaw. Small, easy to conceal."

As if popping out of thin air, Luna rounded over to the three of you. "I couldn't help but overhear, Harry. What about the lost diadem of Ravenclaw?"

"What's that?" he asked.

"Rowena Ravenclaw's lost diadem? It's quite famous," she stated.

"A diadem is like a tiara of sorts," explained Ginny.

"Brilliant. How do we find something that's lost?" he asked.

"Well, what about the Room of Requirement?" you suggested.

"I was thinking we search the Ravenclaw tower," offered Luna.

"It's not a bad idea," you told her. "But it seems a bit predictable, right? If you're looking for something that you say would be easily concealed, why not hide it somewhere highly specific? Somewhere hard to just stumble upon."

"We can split up," said Luna. "I'll go to the tower, Harry, and you can go to the Room of Requirement."

"Brilliant. Thank you all." With that, Harry jogged off on his mission, as did Luna.

"I know this is the worst time to ask, but how are you?" asked Ginny.

"Now might be the only time to ask," you chuckled nervously.

"Things do look grim," she agreed. She looked you up and down quickly, and then did the same to herself. "Fighting a battle in dresses seem rather poetic, yeah?"

"Extremely so. Though it is rather impractical."

"Most of the fighting has been contained to the courtyard and all the highest towers, except the common rooms since the Death Eaters can't get into them. I reckon we have a moment to spare to change into something more reliable," she suggested while pulling on your arm towards the Gryffindor tower.

After Ginny and you changed out of your Yule ball clothes, you were thankful to shed off any physical reminder of the evening. The emotional etchings, you were afraid, would possibly remain forever.

"I'm going up to the Astronomy tower. I believe Fred and George are there with some members of The Order," said Ginny.

"It looked like the Great Hall was being set up as a triage. I'm going to go see if they could use my help there."

Ginny pulled you in for a tight but brief hug. "See you on the other side."

As you raced down through the castle, you heard a commotion coming from one of the classrooms. From the shrill tone, you could tell it was Pansy yelling out in panic.

"Please, I'll join you! I'll do anything. Don't hurt me," she begged.

You weren't sure what it was, empathy, curiosity, or plain stupidity, but you were pulled into the classroom by an invisible tether. 

"Petrificus totalus!" you cast to the perpetrator, but you were too late. He had been quicker than you. The dark wizard cast a silent spell just before he fell over in temporary paralyzation. You watched the glass shards on the floor levitate and circle around him before they flew through the air and cut into Pansy. She failed to pull out her wand in time to cast a protection spell.

You rushed to her side and caught her before she hit the ground. Blood started to spurt out of her mouth as she coughed.

Pansy caused a lot of turmoil in your short time at Hogwarts, but you couldn't help but feel absolute agony looking down at her. You reached for her hand and held onto it. She laughed slightly, and her bloodstained teeth caused you to recoil. The sight haunted you.

"What are you doing?" she sputtered.

"No one should die alone," you whispered.

Pansy laughed shortly through her nose. "I don't deserve this."

You laughed back as a few tears welled in your eyes. "No, you absolutely don't, but no one is beyond saving or forgiveness, Pansy."

"Even Voldemort?" she joked.

"That's different."

"Seems I was wrong about you," she confessed. She coughed more, causing more blood to dribble out of her mouth and further darken her emerald dress. "Sorry about the shiner."

"Pish posh. It's all forgotten."

"You're just saying that because I'm dying."

"In my time here at Hogwarts, Pansy, I've come to learn a few things. One of them being that some people aren't cruel naturally. They're a product of their environment."

"You think that highly of me?"

"I wouldn't say highly, but I hardly knew you. There's a ton about you that could have revealed a nicer side."

"I was jealous, you know. Years I spent pining over Draco, never able to turn his head. You managed to do it in just a few days." Pansy's breaths became extremely uneven as she struggled to speak. You tried to shush her, but she dismissed you with a weak hand wave.

"He loves you. I've never seen him quite that smitten," she continued. She nodded slightly with resolve before switching topics. "I deserve this," she said while gesturing towards all the glass protruding out of her. "I've hurt a lot of people to try and impress him, and it was all in vain."

"Shhh," you cooed.

"Take care of that jerk, yeah?" she whispered. Her eyes fluttered as the last of her breaths shook out of her. You checked her pulse and confirmed that she was dead. You breathed in and out heavily before leaving her body on the floor. You returned to the Great Hall to inform someone to retrieve her body.

Moments later, Ginny burst through the doors with Fred and George in tow. George was bleeding greatly on the side of his head, and it appeared that his ear was missing. You rushed over to them to get George some help. Professor Sprout came around and shooed you all away as she assessed him.

Fred looked disturbed.

"Hey," you said while nudging his elbow. "He'll be okay."

"Thanks, hot stuff," he said as he smiled.

A giant boom shook the Great Hall, causing you and most everyone else to teeter around a bit to maintain balance.

You rushed out of the hall to see the cause. Most of the interior surrounding the Great Hall had crumbled. The dust was still settling, and you strained your eyes to take in more information. Two Death Eaters walked up on either side of you. Outnumbered, you knew you wouldn't go down without a fight. You turned on the Death Eater on your right and cast Stupefy, sending your opponent flying. To your surprise, you were still standing. When you turned to face the other Death Eater, you found him also flying backwards.

You turned back the other way to see who saved you. Off in the distance, you saw Draco with his wand raised, but he stalked off the instant you laid eyes on him.

Dean and Seamus came running through the pile of rubble from the other direction and both pulled you into a hug.

"Blimey, it's good to see you," exclaimed Seamus. "After Dean told us you left the ball, we got really worried once the battle started."

"Happy to see you both in one piece."

You all smiled at each other in relief, but it didn't last long as a blood curdling scream reverberated from the courtyard. The three of you ran out in succession to see what you could do.

Ginny and Fred followed out not long after.

A black sea of Death Eaters by the dozens upon dozens surrounded the only way out. They were all laughing and smiling as if victory was theirs. In front of them stood Voldemort. You had never seen his face before, but the snake like features and his confident stature assured you that it was him. 

With a quick look over to the end of the Death Eater line, you saw Hagrid's giant body looking particularly small as he held Harry's lifeless body in his arms.

"Harry Potter is dead!" he screeched out with a gurgle of a snicker. The Death Eaters joined in with a song of laughter. 

Ginny jolted forward and cried out, but Fred grabbed her and held onto her.

"Insolent girl," snarled Voldemort. "Your hero is dead. Now, join me, and you may be spared. Stay here, and you will surely die a most painful death."

No one stepped forward.

You don't know how, but you could feel a pair of eyes tunneling into the back of your head. When you looked behind you, you saw that it was Draco. He peeled his eyes off you and looked ahead. You followed his gaze and saw him watching his parents beckon him over with urgency. For a few moments, he didn't move, but soon, he started to step forward. You grabbed his hand as he passed and squeezed hard.

Draco didn't stop moving forward, but he squeezed your hand back with the same intensity before he let go.

As he stood next to Lucius and Narcissa, your worst fears came to life. Draco made his choice to follow the life that had been laid out for him and not the one he had tried carving himself.

As Voldemort boasted on more about everyone's impending deaths, movement out of the corner of your eye caught your attention. Harry leaped out of Hagrid's arms, and he escaped behind a nearby pile of rubble, continuing on towards the depths of the castle.

Voldemort shot out incendiary spells and screamed out in rage. One by one, Death Eaters started to disapparate in fear. Ginny and Fred started to usher everyone to retreat back inside, and you did your best to help them. You heard the deep rumble of an all too familiar voice directing people on where to go. 

You turned around looking for him in all the congestion.

Draco was there back on your side. He was helping people. He shot you a small smile when he saw you, but it was an empty one.

Once back inside the Great Hall, you bounded over to check on George. He was knocked out and resting, but he would make a recovery. There was nothing that could be done about his ear. You hugged Ginny in consolation. 

Normally, Ginny's resolve and bravery were ironclad, but you watched your friend tremble. You held onto her hands and assured her that she didn't have to continue fighting if she wasn't at her best.

"I thought I lost Harry. He came back to us, and now he's still vulnerable. I thought I lost George, but the battle is far from over. And I'm stuck here, frozen in place."

"If you go out there with a clouded mind, you could get yourself killed. There are other ways to help," you reassured.

You left Ginny to collect herself for a while as you wandered around the carnage of the Great Hall. You helped out Professor Sprout and Madam Pomfrey where you could. Tucked away in the corner, you found Draco kneeling beside a half draped, motionless body. You didn't even have to look harder to know that it was Pansy.

You knelt down next to Draco and placed a kind hand on his shoulder.

"So much glass..." he muttered. "Seems like she suffered."

"I was with her. I tried to save her, but I wasn't fast enough. I stayed with her until it ended."

"That was more than she deserved."

"Funny. She said the same thing," you said.

He laughed lightly as he wiped a tear from his face. "She wasn't really a good friend to me, or anyone for that matter. But she was in my life since we were kids."

"I can see why that makes this difficult."

All he could muster was a silent nod.

"I thought you left us," you whispered. "You went over to your parents."

"They wanted to run and hide. I just couldn't take it anymore."

"You made a choice for yourself, not to please your parents," you noted.

"I guess I did."

"And for once, it wasn't selfish. You did it to help others too, not just yourself."

Draco looked up at you long and hard. Your words were probably swirling through his mind.

"It's a step," you whispered as you nudged him.

"What was it you told me before? One day at a time?" he whispered as he smiled at you.

You squeezed his shoulder affectionately, and he laid his hand on top of it for a moment. You left him to his thoughts and made your way back around to the hall's entrance. You found Ginny there throwing her arms around someone's neck. Once you got a little closer, you saw that it was Harry. 

Trailing behind him was a disheveled girl who you assumed was Hermione, and someone with fire orange hair like Ginny's. It had to be Ron. You walked over and properly introduced yourself, and Harry thanked you for your advice earlier. It seemed that the diadem was indeed in the Room of Requirement.

"It's over, by the way," muttered Harry. "Voldemort is dead."

Ginny engulfed Harry in another hard embrace, and a huge smile broke out on his face.

A wash of calm flooded over you. Voldemort was dead. There was nothing else to fear. 

Nothing else except moving on from the gut-wrenching heartbreak of Draco Malfoy.


	18. 11 Years Later...

You adjusted the bottom of your plum colored dress robes nervously as you stood at the entrance of the Great Hall.

11 years had passed since this entryway was reduced to ruble and dust. It's amazing what you can do with magic on your side.

Good on your word to yourself, you came back to Hogwarts as a Professor. Specifically, the Potions Professor. It seemed right, given everything. 

You finally moved into the enormous and empty hall. All the other Professors were already at the head table chatting amongst themselves. Besides yours, there was one other seat missing. The Defense Against the Dark Arts position. You didn't know who had filled it. You knew that Flitwick was still doing Charms, Sprout was replaced by Neville with Herbology, and McGonagall was still towering over her Transfiguration position. 

McGonagall also took over as Headmistress after Dumbledore's death.

You all but burst out into a jog when you saw Neville's beaming face looking down at you. He met you halfway and pulled you into a deep, warm hug.

"Told you I'd be here with you again," you said.

"Blimey, it's good to see you," laughed Neville. "Potions, eh?"

"It's the right thing to do. Make sure that others take Potions seriously and don't try to brew something complicated alone and botch it."

"Your parents would be proud," whispered Neville as he led you up to the table.

Hearing Neville talk about your parents caused a small pang in your chest for more reasons than one. Everything that happened, everything you did to them, and of course, Draco.

Fortunately, Dumbledore's words still rang through your head everyday. You had to forgive yourself, and eventually you had. Though, it was still never going to not hurt.

As you seated yourself next to Neville and Professor McGonagall, you busied yourself with idle chit chat. Other Professor's came around and gave you their congratulations on your first year, and you absorbed yourself in the chatter.

That was until the hall doors creaked open, and the new Defense Against the Dark Arts Professor strolled in.

That damned golden, perfect, silky hair was unmistakable. After 11 years, there was Draco Malfoy strutting back into your life.

He kept his head down most of the way, his hands deep in his pocket, and his pace quick. About halfway down, he looked up and slowed considerably when he locked eyes with you. His head shot back down to the floor as he made his way up to his seat.

Neville could tell that you were upset, so he reached his hand out and squeezed yours with a knowing smile.

As students started to pour into the hall and take their seats, you got lost in the sea of noise. You desperately wanted to glance in Draco's direction, but you stopped yourself. Once all but the first years had arrived, McGonagall excused herself to go get them for the sorting. 

After the arduous wait for them to enter, you let go of the breath that you didn't know you were holding.

As the kids entered, one boy in particular waved sheepishly at you. You glanced over at Draco to see if he had noticed, and it appeared that he had. Draco's jaw was slack and agape, his eyes darting back and forth between you and the child.

He gave you a hard, steely look, and you nodded at him slightly. Draco breathed in deeply and sunk back into his chair a bit.

One by one, the students were sorted into their houses. When McGonagall called your son's name, he was sorted into Slytherin. You clapped a little extra hard and gave him two big thumbs up as he walked over to the Slytherin table.

McGonagall took her place at the podium for her welcome back speech.

"Welcome everyone, to another wonderful year at Hogwarts. I'll start off by saying that we have officially removed Professor escorts for Hogsmeade's trips, but they are still only permitted for students in their third year and above with the appropriately signed permission slip. The forbidden forest is, well, forbidden to all students."

As McGonagall continued on with her speech, the words started to jumble together as you became acutely aware of eyes peering into the side of your head. You turned to look at Draco whose face was twisted now in confusion and hurt. All you could do was look down and away.

You fiddled with your hands until the speech was over, and you quickly scarfed down your food and told Professor McGonagall that you were going to retire early. Some students watched you curiously as you left the Great Hall, but most paid no mind. You didn't dare look back because you knew Draco's eyes lingered on you.

Your mind raced as your body specifically led you not to your chambers, but to the Room of Requirement.

Before you appeared those dark walnut double doors with their oval, silver knobs. You breathed in shakily. The last time you were here, you had broken up with Draco.

And then had amazing, amazing breakup sex.

You trembled as you twisted the doorknob and pushed the door open.

It was exactly how you remembered it. The bed, the purple and gold walls, the bathtub, and the fire place. You walked over to the bed and placed a hand on the soft duvet before colliding down into the mattress on your back.

You knew that after all these years, his scent wasn't there, but it felt like it was. Perhaps your cognizance of him was stronger than you realized. You closed your eyes and reveled in your memories with him. The softness of his skin against yours, the way he could touch you with intensity and tenderness all at once, the way his eyes darkened as he drank in your naked body.

The thoughts flooded your senses in remembrance, and a few inevitable tears started to fall down the sides of your temples.

Suddenly, the sound of the door opening caused you to bolt upright.

Of course it was him. It would always be him. Following you like a ghost. You couldn't blame him, though. You all but verbally told him that you had a son. His son.

"Looks like I won the 50/50 shot," he chuckled softly. He remained glued by the closed doors with his hands still in his tailored suit pants pockets.

"What bet?" you indulged.

"I had a feeling you didn't sulk off to your chambers. It was either here or the Astronomy tower. I almost went there. First place we met and all. But then I remembered how soiled it became after..." his voice trailed off gravely as he began to recall the events that night.

"To be fair, this place is kind of sullied too."

"I didn't almost murder someone in here," he laughed.

"No, but breaking up with you was almost as heartbreaking."

The silenced thickened around you and made it seem almost impossible to breathe.

Draco huffed out abruptly, stirring you from your circling thoughts. He pulled a hand out of a pocket and pointed to the bed. "Mind if I sit?"

"Not at all," you said as you scooched over a bit to make more room for him. He sunk into the bed lightly, but his shoulders collapsed heavily.

"So, Julian?" he asked. "He has your last name. Couldn't be a coincidence, could it?"

"Yes, Julian is my son," you breathed.

"Couldn't help but notice his strikingly blonde hair..." he whispered, meeting your eyes. "He's mine, isn't he? The timing is perfect. 11 years old."

"Yes, he's yours," you whispered.

"Why did you never tell me?"

"I had no idea how to find you. I also wasn't sure I wanted too..."

Draco flinched back a little, but tried to hide it. He masked his hurt with resolve. "I suppose I deserve that. After everything I did to you."

More awkward silence pooled around the two of you.

"Potions Professor, huh?" he asked, trying to break the tension.

"Thought my parents would be proud of that."

Draco's face hung in shock. "Your-your parents? Do you remember them again? How?"

"Turns out the chatter about Hermione Granger was right. Brightest witch of her age that one. She did a modified memory charm on her parents, as well. When Ginny found out, she suggested I talk to her. Hermione had removed the charm on her parents, we figured it was worth a shot on me."

"I've been kicking myself for the last decade about how I ruined your life..." he muttered. 

Your heart sank. You cupped his face with your hand and brought his gaze to your level. "You did not ruin my life. Caused great turmoil and chaos, sure. Ruin you did not. You reminded me that I was worthy of being loved when I thought I didn't deserve it."

"Funny," he laughed breathily. "You made me feel the same way." Draco's hands started to shake, and you reached down to steady them. He breathed out sharply, intently watching your hands on his. "I still love you," he breathed quietly. "I haven't stopped. Not for a moment."

"After all this time?" you laughed incredulously. 

"Of course. You're not easy to forget, and I would never want to."

Like magnets pulled back across time, you hurtled your lips onto his with fervor. Draco grabbed the back of your head and pulled you in, deepening the kiss. His lips moved to part yours, and you opened them wider, inviting his tongue to tangle around yours. The faint taste of mint in his mouth swirled with the scent of a pine aftershave. Intoxicated, you hurled yourself over and straddled his lap. He fell back onto the bed, pulling you down with him, Even through all his layers, and yours, you could feel his growing desire under your, prodding to be released.

Draco began to quickly lift up your dress robes over your body and tossed it off onto the floor. His hands gingerly caressed the dips of your back and the curves of your waist before he snapped off your bra. Your breasts spilled out with a bounce, and the cold air and excitement pulled your nipples taut. Draco lunged his mouth towards them, greedily sucking and pulling on your aching peak. He sat back up from the bed and shrugged off his suit jacket before making work on the buttons of his shirt. You sucked in a breath as you took in the sight of his slightly toned, pale chest. Your hands raced to his belt and unsheathed it in record time.

"Someone's impatient," chuckled Draco. Those all too familiar words lit up something in you from all those years ago.

"I can't control myself when I'm with you," you said with a flutter in your chest.

"Sounds like you need someone to be in charge," he said with a devilish smirk. You hopped off of his lap and knelt down onto the floor in front of him. He stood to bring himself to mouth level as he shook off his pants and briefs. His cock flung out in greeting, and you wasted no time enlarging your mouth to take him in. A small stream of precum was already inching its way out of his slit, and you groaned against him relishing his taste that you so missed. While his hands grasped at hair on the sides of your head, his hips bucked forward and pushed him deeper into your throat. He continued to thrust in and out as you gagged against him. After a few moments, you pulled away and gasped for air. You looked up at him with desire as he looked back down at you the same. You took him back into your mouth and bobbed your head forward and back over his head. You slithered your tongue back and forth on the underside of his tip, and Draco hissed out through clenched teeth.

He pulled himself out of the slobbery confines of your mouth and directed your body upward by grabbing your chin. Draco claimed your mouth with his in a predatory fashion. You melted under him as heat ripped through your muscles and pierced through your skin.

Draco turned you around and threw you onto the bed, immediately pouncing in for the kill. His lips were on your cunt in ravenous fashion. He almost snarled as he lapped you up and devoured you.

"Draco," you breathed.

He slowed his movements down and gazed up at you. His tongue flicked slowly over you, causing your head to arch back. Draco removed himself from you and flipped you over onto all fours. He plunged into you hard and let out a deep growl in unison with your long moan.

To feel him inside of you again was nothing short of pure bliss.

His thrusts inside of you were painfully slow. You wanted more of him, deeper in you, until you didn't know where he began and you ended. Eager to be filled up entirely, you pushed back against him, synchronizing your movements with him. The tips of his fingers dug hard into your hips, one hand only leaving momentarily to come down hard on your ass.

One not so subtle moan gave Draco all the information he needed, and he rapidly beat down on your bum in succession. The harsh sting of it all quickly dissipated from the pleasure of his fullness rubbing perfectly on your ridges. 

Your limbs started to grow weaker as your veins coursed with ecstasy. Plummeting closer and closer, Draco wrapped an arm around your waist and began to stroke your growing need, making your crash come faster. You bellowed out a guttural moan as Draco continued to grunt and sink deeper inside of you. Shortly after, Draco finished inside of you with a few carnal groans and deep strokes.

He pulled himself out and collapsed on the bed next to you. Without even asking, you turned towards him to snuggle into. To your surprise, his arms were already open.

Draco planted several soft kisses on your forehead, and you curled up even closer. You sighed contently, but he sighed something of unease.

"What is it?" you inquired.

"I feel like I'm in a dream. All those horrible things I did to you, it took me years to forgive myself. And now I'm wrapped up in your arms again. Where I feel like I belong. Where I feel at home." His voice cracked considerably at the end.

You paused for a moment, considering your words carefully. 

"Draco...I learned a lot after my parent's deaths. After I stopped being so foggy-brained about it, I could see more clearly. Their deaths, though deeply sorrowful and tragic, I couldn't do anything to change what had happened. I couldn't wish away what I wished I had done differently. Instead, I knew they would rather see me move on and cherish what memories we had together. I wish, more than anything, that I had cherished it all more while they were still alive."

"What are you saying?"

"I don't know what's going to happen tomorrow, a year from now, ten years from now, or hell, even an hour from now. What I do know is that I love you too. I have spent the last 11 years thinking it every time I looked at our son. His rich blue eyes, his sparkling blonde hair, the way his brows furrow when he's frustrated. Even tonight at the ceremony. I thought to myself, 'Slytherin, of course. Just like his father'. I know that you have more than rectified your past mistakes, and you have proven to me that you are capable of choosing what is right and what is in your heart."

Draco pulled your head towards him in a long and fiery kiss. All the warmth in your body rushed to your head, and all you could think of was how happy you finally were.

"I love you," he whispered.

"And I you."

Draco inhaled sharply. "Does he know about me?"

"Julian? Yes, I've told him stories."

Draco's eyebrow shot up in curiosity. "Which ones? Most of my accounts are quite scandalous."

You couldn't suppress a giggle at the recollection of all your secret affairs, most here in this very room.

"Stories about how brave you were, how vulnerable you could be, how comforting and sweet. He's always admired you."

"Really?" he asked choking up.

"Really. I'm sure he'll tell you himself in the morning," you whispered. Draco's eyes sparkled something fierce. The promise in your words ignited a joy you had not seen in him in years. He tackled you back down onto the bed and kissed you on your cheeks, your forehead, your lips, your jaw, and your neck. Over and over endlessly until he paused only to wrap his arms around you tightly. He rested his forehead against yours, and you closed your eyes, enveloping yourself in his sweet scent.

After all this time, there was no place you would rather be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HOLY SHIT Y'ALL WE DID IT. IT'S THE END. I'M NOT CRYING YOUR CRYING. Seriously though, thank you SO much for going on this journey with me. I know it was a bit shorter than some people probably anticipated or hoped, but things happen quite differently once you start to form everything together. I hope that you all enjoyed this story as much as I have. I have so many more stories I yearn to share, the next of which will be a Fred and George fic! Double the action, double the fun ;) From the bottom of my heart, thank you for all the support on my first Wattpad story. All my love, Kat.


	19. Bonus Chapter

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello loves! After much consideration, I decided to write a cute little bonus, Christmas chapter. In spirit of the holiday season, it seems really fitting. Enjoy this cutesy scene with Draco and Julian!

Julian's first fall term came to a close faster than you had anticipated. No one ever told you that having children, time moves so much faster than you realize.

You and Julian sat down to discuss your Christmas plans. Julian wanted to stay at Hogwarts, but you wanted to go back to your flat in London. Draco, however, had a third option.

"Why don't we go to the manor?" he suggested.

"The place where your father wanted to do me in? No thanks," you scoffed.

"Hey, you know he's in Azkaban now. It's just mum. I know she'd love to meet Julian. I'm sure that big, empty manor gets lonely for her."

You took a deep breath in. It was hard to not think about the manor without thinking about the horrible memories tethered to it. Perhaps though, this was your chance to turn that around. To Replace those memories with happier ones. 

As a family.

You and Draco were lightly dating, taking things slow. It was hard not to go all in, given your intense history, but you needed to take things slow for Julian.

Julian took an instant liking to Draco, which pleased you, but somewhere in the depths of your mind, a tingling prick of doubt lingered. You always tried to shake it from your mind. Perhaps it was just the poisonous memories you shared. All the times he had been cross or unbearable. But it had been over a decade. 

You knew you needed to forgive him.

"Okay. Let's go to the manor," you agreed.

So come Christmas, Draco and you apparated Julian to Malfoy Manor. It was as spacious and luxurious as your remembered, but not as dark and dreary.

Narcissa furnished the place with plants, vibrant art pieces, and colorful furniture. She greeted Draco with a tight hug, then pulled you in for one as well. She knelt down to meet Julian face to face.

"Well, hello, dear. You must be Julian. Wow, you're so handsome and grown! How you look so much like my Draco."

You couldn't help but smile at this. It was true. From the icy blonde hair to his crystalline blue eyes. You ruffled his hair at the compliment and wrapped your arm around his shoulders. 

"He is Draco's spitting image," you laughed.

"Good thing I'm bloody handsome," joked Draco. He kissed your temple before taking your coat to hang.

Narcissa led you into the kitchen, and Draco and Julian lugged the bags upstairs. 

Narcissa offered you a steaming cup of tea.

"Irish breakfast. Draco told me," she confessed.

"Wow, thank you. That's very kind. And very thoughtful of him to remember."

"He never forgets anything." She sipped her own tea thoughtfully. "I'm sorry, dear, for what you had to endure here. Draco told me all about it. It haunted him, so I cannot imagine how you felt."

You inhaled shakily at the thought of what happened, but it was all in the past now. 

"Thank you, Narcissa. But I'd much like to move on and make different memories here. Actually, I'm quite moved to be here for Christmas. Draco told me how much the holiday means to him."

"Hm, yes. I remember his eyes always lighting up when we finally got a tree to decorate. He always insisted on placing every single ornament and light," she chuckled. Her expression grew dark. "Truthfully, they're the only happy memories either of us have in this place."

You placed your hand on top of hers and looked her in the eye. "I'm glad things can be better moving forward."

"Me too," she smiled.

Draco and Julian came down the stairs to meet you both. 

"Right," said Draco while rubbing his hands together. "When can we start on the tree?"

"So eager!" you teased.

"Can I put the star on top, PLEASE!?!?! PRETTY PLEASE?!" asked Julian excitedly.

Draco pulled him in for a hug. "Of course."

Narcissa left momentarily to grab the boxes of lights and decorations. The four of you went to work to pick out the best set of items to hang up. By the end, the tree was adorned in a string of blue and white lights with red, gold, and silver bulbs. 

It was a simple look, but it was stunning.

All that was left was the star. Julian confidently whipped out his wand. 

" _Wingardium Leviosa_ ," he chanted. The star failed to levitate. " _Wingardium Leviosa_ ," he tried again but still to no avail. "Dang it, please don't tell Professor Flitwick."

"Julian, are you slacking off in classes?" you asked.

"No...Charms is just soooooo boring," he whined.

"Julian," you started.

"I know mum, I know. I'll do better."

Draco leaned down and whispered to Julian, but failed to do so quietly. "It's okay bud. Charms is definitely boring."

"Hey, don't encourage him!" you chastised.

"No matter," laughed Draco. He hoisted Julian up and onto his shoulders for Julian to reach the top of the tree.

It was a sight to behold. You looked around at everyone. Narcissa snuggled on the couch next to you, Julian and Draco bonding, a real family coming together.

It was hard not to tear up at it all.

A tear escaped and rolled down your cheek, and Narcissa squeezed your shoulder lovingly. You gave her your biggest smile, and she knew they were tears of joy.

The next morning was Christmas, and Julian came bounding into your bedroom, jumping on the bed in excitement.

"Mum, dad!! Wake up, wake up!! It's CHRISTMAS!!!!" he yelled.

You and Draco sleepily rubbed your eyes and shooed Julian downstairs to give you both a moment to wake up and get ready. As soon as Julian was out the door, Draco looked at you bewildered.

"He called me dad..."

"He did," you smiled.

"I...I didn't think-he-I mean-it's just," he stuttered.

"I told you. Before he even met you, he was always awestruck. It's always just been us. And now there's you. Of course he's going to be excited about it."

"I just never thought I'd be a father. Or at least a good one. I-I always worried that..."

"That you'd end up like your father?"

"Yes," he muttered. "I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I did."

"Which is exactly why I know you won't be like him." You cupped Draco's face to force him to look at you. "You've been really great with Julian. I know it's a lot. Taking in a child who's literally halfway to adulthood, but you're doing great. Honest."

Draco kissed you fiercely in appreciation. The two of you readied yourself for the morning and headed downstairs.

Julian was eagerly sitting by the tree with Narcissa, and he jumped for joy when you finally came down.

Narcissa handed her gift to Julian first, and he tore it open. It was pretty obvious from the wrapping that it was a broomstick. It turned out to be a Firebolt Supreme.

"Holy smokes!!" cried Julian. "This. Is. Awesome!! Thank you!!" he leaped into her arms, and Narcissa laughed. She looked so relaxed, so at ease. Much different than her demeanor all those years ago. A quiet, mousey, subservient woman.

She was now free.

And so you were.

And so was Draco.

"I had an inkling that you might be interested in quidditch like your father, but even if not, brooms are a great way to travel," she said.

"I love it," beamed Julian. "Mum, this one is for you," he said while handing you a present.

Upon opening it, you found that it was a sleek, black leather journal.

"You're always getting these great ideas or reminders of something without anywhere to write them down. I've come into your office before with sticky notes EVERYWHERE!! Now, you can put it all down in one place."

You chuckled at the mental image. Your office _was_ sometimes a mess. "Thank you, Julian. That's very thoughtful. I definitely could use this."

Julian looked at Draco forlornly. "I'm sorry...I didn't get you or grandma anything. I didn't know what to get."

"Oh, hush now baby," cooed Narcissa. "Your presence is more than enough of a gift," she said while kissing his head.

"What she said," said Draco with a smile. "I did get you something though."

Draco grabbed a gift and passed it to Julian. He also handed another to you. "And one for you, my love."

You let Julian open his first, and inside was a spherical lamp of some sort. It was small. It could fit in Julian's hands.

"What is this?" asked Julian.

"You plug that part in to the wall, and then this part here," explained Draco while pointing at the sphere, "Will light up and shoot these projections of stars. And I think it spins. It'll make cool looking effects in your room when it's dark. It's a muggle object, but it seemed magical in its own way," he laughed.

"Coooooool!! I love it!"

You loved Julian's enthusiasm for life. Everything brought him happiness. Of course, that's not how life is, but you were thankful that for some time, Julian didn't know immense pain.

You finally started to open your gift, and when you did, your jaw dropped.

It was a lavender, polaroid camera.

"Draco, I-" You were left speechless.

"I know it's a bit old school, but I figured you'd like it. A nice way to snap some good memories," he admitted.

You instantly held it up to Draco's face, and he twisted his expression in confusion. "No, wait, not me!" he cried out. But it was too late. You snapped a photo of his perplexed state, and when the photo came out, you waved it around while it developed.

You shot him a cheeky smile, and he shook his head in that classic devilish way to let you know that he was getting you back in one way or another.

Julian opened the rest of his gifts, some of which were chocolate frogs, an exploding card deck, and a wizard chess set. When he had finished opening everything that was his, he turned to you expectantly.

"Didn't you get dad anything?" he asked.

You turned beet red. There was something you got him, but it was meant for privacy. You did order him a typewriter as well, but it still hadn't arrived in the post.

"I got him two things actually, but they've been delayed. They'll come eventually," you explained.

"That's okay," whispered Draco while kissing your cheek. "Hey, how about we go outside and play in the snow for a bit?" he suggested.

"YES!!!" yelled Julian. He raced upstairs to put on some warmer clothes. Draco followed him while saying something about helping Julian get dressed.

You helped Narcissa clean up the mess, and she looked at you thoughtfully. "What did you get Draco?" she prodded.

"Well, one of them is a typewriter. And the other is, well...um..."

"Say no more," she giggled. "I can fill in the blanks. I was young once too."

"Once? You still look 25 to me!"

"Oh, dear, you flatter me too much," she laughed. "Thank you," she said while pausing her clean up to face you. "I don't know what you did or how you did it, but you changed Draco's world. His life."

"No, Narcissa. He did that himself."

"That he might have, but he was lost in the dark for so long. You were his guiding light. I can never thank you enough. I was never brave enough to stand up to the abuse and manipulation by my husband. Draco and I both suffered greatly. I fear if Draco hadn't been saved, well, we might never have been."

You pulled Narcissa in for a tight hug. The years of emotional torture she had to endure weighed heavy on you. You were glad that was over for her. And for him.

When Draco and Julian came back downstairs, they looked suspiciously secretive, but you brushed it off.

"Mum, can I take your camera out and take pictures? I promise to be REALLLYYY careful with it," begged Julian.

"Alright, that's fine. But yes, please be very careful."

Julian took the camera delicately and inspected it closely, obviously trying to figure out the features.

"I'm going to go take a small nap," said Narcissa. "I couldn't sleep very well last night."

"Mum, are you sure?" you heard Draco whisper to her as she passed. "I think you should stay."

"Well, for a few minutes then," she conceded.

You and Narcissa now climbed the stairs to change, and soon, you were all outside in the frosty, stark white, snow.

The powder crunched beneath your feet, and you forgot how much you missed the sound.

"Hey, honey. I have a good idea for a picture," whispered Draco. 

"I'm listening."

He handed you a fistful of snow before wrapping his arms around you. He rested his head on your shoulder and said, "Hold your hands out and blow the snow at the camera."

He whistled for Julian to come over and take the photo. He explained what you were going to do, and Julian tried to time the photo perfectly. You were excited to see later how it would turn out.

"Okay, one more," said Draco. "Stay facing that way."

"Wh-what? Why?" you asked skeptically. You were worried these two were trying to play some prank on you, but you ended up relenting.

"Just trust me, darling."

You stayed where you were, and Julian rounded to the other side away from you.

"Okay, turn around," breathed Draco.

When you did, you saw Draco on one knee with a box open. Julian was snapping photos like crazy.

"Draco..." you whispered.

"Darling, I know it's been so long since we've fully been together. I know you wanted to take it slow, and I'm okay with still doing that, but I love you too much. I lost you once, and I can never bear to be without you again. Being with you feels like being transported back in time. Nothing has changed. My feelings have not wavered once in all these years. I love you, and I love our son. I want to spend the rest of my life being the perfect husband and the perfect father. I know I'll never be perfect, but I'll never stop striving to get as close as possible. You make every moment of my life feel like I'm walking on air. So please, will you marry me?"

You flicked your gaze up to Julian. Was this too sudden?

"I already said I was okay with it," yelled Julian, still snapping pictures.

You laughed at their sneaky teamwork. You'd wondered when Draco had talked to him about it.

Julian's acceptance and approval was exactly what you needed. You always knew it was Draco. It was always Draco, but protecting Julian was always your number one priority.

"Yes, yes, a thousand times yes," you squealed while tackling Draco into the snow. You pressed your lips onto his, instantly warmed from all the cold. When you released yourself from him, you saw Julian off to the side dramatically crouched to capture the perfect photos.

You sat up off of Draco and held out your hand for the ring.

It was stunning.

It wasn't flashy or expensive looking, which made it that much more special. Draco had all the money in the world because of his family, but he chose something more meaningful rather than something he could throw money at.

The band was rose gold with a petite twist from the sides to the top. From the start of the twists were lines of small diamonds on both sides coming together to meet the center diamond.

But it didn't matter what it looked like, or even if you had a ring at all. You were Draco's, and he was yours. No material things were needed to ever prove that. 

Narcissa pulled you both in for congratulatory hugs before retiring inside. She took your camera in for safe keeping so you could all have some fun in the snow.

When you weren't paying attention, Julian balled up a clump of snow and lodged it at you.

"Hey!" you yelled.

"SNOWBALL FIGHT!!" screamed Draco as he hurled one at you.

"BOYS VS. GIRLS!" yelled Julian.

"No fair!!" you screeched as you ran away. The boys chucked snowballs at you mercilessly. There was no escaping the soft punch of the cold plush.

After a while, you ran full force at Draco and tackled him once again. Julian jumped in on the dog pile, Draco pleading for mercy.

"Fine, fine," you relented as you climbed off of him. "Only because you're my adoring fiancé now."

Julian started jumping up and down. "It's cold! I'm going inside!" And with that, he dashed into the comfort of indoors.

You and Draco followed shortly after.

Once night fell and everyone was in their own rooms, you collided into Draco's arms. They were as strong and sturdy as you had always known them to be.

"I love you," you breathed. Holding his face, you planted what felt like a thousand kisses on his lips. "I do have one of your gifts here, but you'll have to wait in bed for it."

"I quite like the sound of that," he whispered with a low growl.

You went into the adjoining bathroom to change. You slipped on a dark red, lacy, chemise top that lifted your breasts perfectly and ended right at the top of your thighs, and you pulled on a pair of matching panties.

When you stepped out, Draco's eyes all but popped out of his skull. He leaped off the bed and came over to you.

"My, my. You look ravishing." He held on tightly to your hips as he drank you in with his eyes. "But as stunning as this looks on you, I think it'd look better on the floor." He slipped one strap off your shoulder, then the other. He tugged it off your body gently. 

Your exposed nipples immediately perked from the combination of cold and arousal.

Draco dropped to his knees and looked up at you. He pulled down your underwear with a tenderness, a slowness. He caressed one of your legs in his hand, his lips lightly brushing along your calf, then your inner thigh. The soft sensations were already sending heat towards your core.

His mouth finally landed on your clit, and you draped your head back in anticipation of all the pleasure to come. Draco slowly took you into his mouth. His arms enclosed around your thighs and squeezed your ass.

Draco took his time with you. You thought of all the times he had been rough, commanding. It was always a bit of a shock when he was gentle, but you liked it.

You liked both, truthfully.

But there was so much intimacy in his tenderness.

The soft touches left sacred promises of love and adoration. You wanted those promises everyday of forever.

And now you got to have that.

The familiar humming pleasure started to wrap itself in your bones as you were softly lulled towards climax. You looked down at Draco who was looking back up at you. Like a goddess. Like he was worshipping you.

He shifted his focus back on your pleasure, and soon you were quietly crying out as the crest of orgasm washed over you. Your legs immediately went weak, but Draco stood up quickly to steady you.

He led you over to the bed and laid you down in it.

You tried to level your breathing as you came back down from your high.

"Need a moment?" asked Draco.

"Yeah," you breathed.

He kissed the top of your head and pulled you into his arms. He stroked your hair as you collected yourself before going at it again.

"Draco," you whispered.

"Yes, love?"

"I'm sorry I ever gave up on you."

"You had every right to."

"It can't have been easy on you. I kept Julian away for over a decade. I shouldn't have. I was just so scared of so many stupid little things."

"Darling, darling. It's alright. I wish I was there for all his firsts, but I'm here now. That means more to me than anything. Besides, who said we can't have another little rugrat?"

You couldn't see his face, but you knew he had an impish smirk.

"I hate that we missed so much time together, yes. But now we have forever," he finished.

"Now we have forever," you repeated back. It felt so good to hear, so good to say.

You looked up at the man you loved, eager to take on life together. You kissed him like it was the only thing you knew how to do, and through the night, the two of you made love over and over and over again. Always taking your time, always trying to languish in each others bodies.

All was perfect.

All was right.

You had forever with Draco Malfoy and your beautiful son.

All was well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For now, this is the end, but never say never! I'm lowkey thinking of writing a wedding scene, but I'm really on the fence about it. I don't feel the need to drag it out more, especially when I think there's a clear picture of how happy everyone is together. But you never know when inspiration and drive will strike! I hope that you all enjoyed this bonus chapter. Thank you so much once again for all the support. You all mean everything to me. Happy holidays!


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